The Guide to your hair

Gentlemen. Listen here.
All of these out there have got it right.
Lead singer in the Kooks, lead singer in The Automatic, lead singer in Mystic Jets, Axl Rose, Bono from U2, members of Snow Patrol, Orlando Bloom, Jon bon Jovi, Santa Claus, Dumbledore, Ozzy Osbourne, vocalist in Razorlight, both members of Röyksopp, Gene Simmons, Viggo Mortensen, Erlend Öye, Mick Jagger, EVERY single fraggle in Fraggle Rock, Steve Tyler, even nearly all the members of The Verve too!
See? And there's more of them!

They all have long hair.
I'm not saying you are to grow a mane of untidy, dirty, repulsive flocks.
I'm saying you should grow a healthy, shiny, clean and soft crown of beautiful locks.


Hear me now.

  • No facial hair

  • No fucking moustaches, sideburns, ruffs, coiffurs or beards!

  • A wonderfully trimmed, always clean hairdo is what you need

  • No "skinning it all off" or any shit like that

  • Spikes are welcome

  • Let loose your curls if you have any baby! Let loose the curls!

  • No waist-long braids or any other sick Lord of the Rings creations

  • The hair should cover your ears, can reach your shoulders without being a catastrophe of course

  • No ponytails. No bloody ponytails

  • And last - no ponytails - For the love of God.

And I want this to be true.

Thank you sir!


Audun said...

short hair: easier to live with.

women doesn't have any choice, they have to do whatever looks best. we men can do whatever we want. and shoulder long hair on men usually looks gay, nps


Ryaninja said...

Hmmmm interesting. I like long hair on me, but unfortunately it takes on a natural Lord of the Rings effect all by itself.

Mind you, my hair defies me whatever length it is...!

...what no facial hair? Not even a good comedy beard?

Tora said...

Not even a good comedy beard.

But I'm very happy for you and your long hair Ryan, it sends little sparks of hope through this dark world of retarded haircuts.

Smylexx said...

Long girly hair is the domain of bad country and western singers and the "bad" people in manga cartoons.

(i'm not just saying this cos i shaved my heeeeeed, ok?)

Back to Top