The Dangling Dangle Danglers, also known as Haereo Pensilis Propexus (latin for hang on to, hanging, hanging down), are usually very quiet lifeforms and are not considered vermins or pests. The use of Haereo Pensilis Propexus in eco-systems is purely for decoration, as their shiny, round and red bodies illuminate and glow when they are sleeping.
When Dangling Dangle Danglers are awoken to quickly, they will let out loud schreeching and whining sounds. You can often hear this when taking a shower, watering your garden with a hose or using the water tap.
The Haereo Pensilis Propexus has no specific use, they live off minerals found in rust and tap water, being relaxed creatures. However, the Dangling Dangle Danglers are far from lazy, being quite acrobatic where they are hanging from the ceiling of waterpipes. The Dangling Dangle Danglers are, as seahorses, monogamous, they can spend months trying to get the attention of the opposite sex and if it turns out right, they spend their lives together. They lay about 200-500 eggs at a time, in small sacks, these egg-sacks have a strong resemblance with porridge, but are not considered a special culinary treat.
As the Haereo Pensilis Propexus are now about to be completely extinct, there are several things you can do to help these little creatures. Here's a two things:
- Always flush when using a toilet facility
- Never pour liqour or alcoholic beverages down drains
And if you want to be extra helpful:
- add a spoon of strawberry jam to the water in your tub before pulling the prop out.
Every year Norwegians supposedly celebrate the "Fårikål" Day, this we have (supposedly) done for TEN years now.
Fårikål is a very simple meal to create, the name being the recipe in itself. "Fårikål" means "Sheepincabbage" and it can hardly get more obvious than that.
There are of course more ingredients, but nobody names a course "Sheepcabbagepeppersaltwaterandalittlebitoflourboilsfor-
severalhoursandisbestservedwithpotatoes" Because that is a very silly thing to do, long names are harder to remember than short names.
So today there will be served from 1500-1600 kilos of "Fårikål" in front of the City Hall for everyone that wants to have some.
Personally I have the annual pleasure of getting served "Fårikål" twice as often as everyone else, as my divorced parents find it best to make it at different times, preferably when I will be around.
Not that I mind.
On the loose
S H I T M A N D U D E
By Lamin Chorr Nilsen. (c)
Currently at display at the annual Autumn Exhibition in Oslo, The Høstutstilling.
I've been there twice, there were a few installations and paintings, films and even a few sculptures. I liked some of it, while I think the majority of the art has basically been too busy trying to provoke than rather inspire or communicate. Personally I don't find it important for art to reflect society or to get you thinking, to toss shit at people or to get me annoyed or upset. If art is able to inspire me, to get my mind going a little. I quite enjoy to stand still and just look, you know, just stare (no, I wasn't referring to the above painting, mind you. You're like a living sexual innuendo, aren't you?) but really, just loose myself in something and suck it all in. (no!)
Really I don't give a damn camels nostril about the motive behind it or the technique developed in the process, I don't really mind the thought behind it, the hate or whatever it is trying to display or publicly shame. It doesn't matter!
If the work in itself can be enjoyed in some way, that it can have the right shape and form, the right position and ....
okay, I've had enough. If you can't stop bringing up that painting I have to remove it, you know that? Alright?
Well I was just about finished anyway.
Point is, you can find a deeper meaning to anything around you if you just WANT to, but that doesn't mean that you HAVE to do it. Everything doesn't have to have an answer or a meaning to it. If I draw a person, I don't necessarily know who that person is, but that doesn't matter either. We are able to be captivated by the art in itself, not all these mind-flaring, far-fetched, so-called deep sense in it, those are just poor excuses for why the art is unoriginal and (in some cases) just morbid, perverted ideas come alive.
We're extremely similar in one way, you see, we all cry very easily.
No, don't laugh, I'm serious! It's not the least bit amusing! It's absolutely hopeless! Imagine Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring has lasted for about five minutes and hobbit-children are running across the screen, my mother is clenching to the seat, crying endlessly. Like as the film La vita è bella (Life is beautiful) leaves my sisters mascara splattered around everywhere from the sofa to behind the television set by the time the intro has started. Picture Lilo & Stitch playing on a plane to Australia and I am crying so much the flight attendant stops to ask me (for the third time) if I'm okay. OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY! THE GIRL AND THE BLUE SPACE-EXPERIMENT ARE FRIENDS, CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S UPSETTING?!
If it was only a matter of self-control it would change everything. But, unfortunately, we are as able to control this as we are of doing a kinky llama imitation. And the problem is, if you whacked us across the face with a sledge, I bet we wouldn't cry a bit. But do play "Mio bambino Caro" done by Renée Fleming and we'll be on our knees begging for mercy before you can say "drowning-accident". Which is excactly what it will be too, if you don't turn that blasted sad music off.
Bambi makes me weep, sniff, bawl, snivel, mawl, whimper and sob. Please hand me some tissues.
I know life hasn't been easy on him, that his breath smells like a thousand fags, when he's drunk he dances like his dad, and that he's started, to dress a bit like him. I know that every morning when he wakes up, he looks like kiss but without the make-up, and that's a good start to take it to the bridge.
And I know and I know, that his life's a mess, and he's trying to grow, but this is SHIT.
Robbie, honey, you are trying to hard. You are trying so hard it sounds like they just had you castrated.
You sound like George flipping Michael, all I want to do now, is to cry. Alright. This is hopeless.
Out, get out, get out NOW.
Get the fuck out Robbie. Get out and stay out.
I'm such a good girl, it nearly hurts.
Old people don't do this though, so I guess I'm advertising for some heavy linguistic destruction.
The word serr is also used in collaborations with other words to enhance the awesomeness of them. Like "She was seriously fat!" -"Hun var serr feit!" See how that logically just fits right in?
We "kids nowadays" might seem lazy, creating abbrevations of everything. Personally I'm not improvident enough to be fully against that, as long as our written language remains the same.
If the things we write remain gramatically correct and in their longer versions (if you like) than our lazy mouthwords are, there is nothing to be worried about. The language will preserve itself through wonderfully long and (original and best) proper sentences.
I hope all the Norwegian teachers out there can discover some solace in these words, even though the fact that I'm blogging in English is indirectly destroying our language too by showing my disapproval towards it,
I have no idea what that means, but it sounds impressive so I'll just glue this code here and look smart.
This is my blog looking smart.
Who would’ve thought?
I have thought about going mad a few times.
You ever thought about going crazy?
Like, for real? Just flip out and start tidying everywhere, when people ask you what you're doing, you retort promptly something about having the boxes of cereal over for dinner after meeting the queen of the Hedgehogs?
Letting that only be the beginning. You will collect newspaper-clippings of the words "cunt" and "lotto" just to tape these cuttings all over your ceiling. You draw a new goldfish in your face every day and start to actually LIVE after a horoscope.
I mean, you get to mess around, do whatever you want, live off government support and don't have to do anything at all. No responsibility, no job, no bills, no early starts, no traffic. Doesn't it sound delicious?
Though it might seem tempting (if you think it does), would you consider it?
<-- Unofficial reward
Holding prejudices against music is something you will do, and really regret later, I know myself, I keep missing out on all this great music!
To help you avoid committing the same crime, doing the same mistake, try to listen to something on this list:
(Sorted Alphabetically, not everything is awesome, but it might be different, which will do you good - I'm sure!)
A Special Morning - Ralph Myerz and the Jack Herren Band
America - Razorlight
Big Sur - The Thrills
Bubble Toes - Jack Johnson
Butcher Blues - Kasabian
Chelsea Dagger - The Fratellis
Done With You - The Whitest Boy Alive
Eple - Röyksopp
Extreme Ways - Moby
Green Eyes - Coldplay
High on the Crime - Turbonegro
I'd rather Dance with You - Kings of Convenience
Joker and the Thief - Wolfmother
Kiss you Better - Maxïmo Park
Kom igjen - CC Cowboys
Let Go - Frou frou
Little Journey - The Avalanches
Loungemeister - Ugress
Make Love - Room 5
North West Three - Fatboy Slim
Nothing in my Way - Keane
Number 1 - Goldfrapp
One Evening - Feist
Pyromantikk - Johndoe
Recycled air - The Postal Service
Remember - Groove Armada
Shake Break Bounce - Chemical Brothers
Sleep on Needles - Sondre Lerche
Slow Country - Gorillaz
Smile like you mean it - The Killers
Stalkers day off - Robbie Williams
Three Donkeys in Heaven - Bent
Velocity Girl - Snow Patrol
You and Me Song - Wannadies
Am I missing out on something too? Comment me a list, I use music like you use socks (not you, you - and you should change yours too!)
The number of the circle.
The Church of pi, reside in Porsgrunn, Norway.
Read their Article of Faith in English!
Their slogan is “La sirkelen rulle”, which means ”let the circle roll” .
I must say, I’m intrigued.
If you have, then you probably already know that it is used as a term for being slow or hanging behind. Lag is often used about the speed of your internet. Or, to say it more correctly, the speed of the information packages sent across the internet.
These packages contain coding that creates everything you are doing on the web. Like, playing a game, placing an order, chatting, sending a file, opening a web-page, downloading or uploading a file or photo.
The speed of these packages is measured in latency, in some circumstances also known as Ping. So, the Ping of the Latency is the speed of the Lag.
You have probably experienced the way things freeze or load really slowly when doing something online. We say that it lags or that it's laggy.
The reason things lag is dimensional disturbance.
You might have heard of bottleneck theories, that the packages get queued around slow reuters, that the computer is slow at interpretating the information, or that the packages take unnecessary rounds to deliver the information.
But all of that is a load of crap.
Lag is, indeed, caused by disturbing waves of sound, emotion or movement from other dimensions. We call these bits and pieces of events; Lagmensions.
Lagmensions are often triggered by strong emotions in our dimension. Like if you are really inpatient about getting a webpage to load, this influences the people in other dimensions, causing them to be inpatient too. The lack of patience will crash and cause something called Lagpetence this naturally slows down information packages and can make things freeze.
Sound also has a great influence on Lagmensions. When using for example Ventrilo, Google Talk, Teamspeak, Skype or other Voice-Communication software you often experience lag when talking to someone. This is often purely coincidential and recognised as empty sounds, much like silence, but not entirely.
Audiowavelag is a very silent version of dramatic events from other dimensions. Things like death, child-birth, panic, celebrations, horse-races, war, gas-leaks or fireworks has a tendency of interrupting audio the most.
Lagovement is lag caused by movements in other dimensions and can be caused, triggered or created from anything. It also has the ability to interrupt anything, anywhere at anytime. Lagovement is therefore the most common type of lag.
Lagmensions has become a part of our daily lives, yet few people know exactly why things lag and blame it on other things, like having an old computer load a giant computer game. People experience gaming satisfaction only by purchasing newer computer models to stop the lag. Often the amount of lag will drastically decrease, yet the reason for that is only the faith in the new computer. A newer machine or a better reuter has not scientifically proven to stop Lagmensions, but your personal attitude towards it, can.
Some facts about Lag and Lagmensions:
- A secret sect believe Lag is a punishment from God.
- Lagmentions can get so strong that people in our own dimension can be swopped with people from other dimensions.
- Lag can also be currents of fried milk that disturbs radio signals.
- Lag is built from the two words Lancaster and Aggro, these two words have absolutely nothing to do with the meaning of the word today.
- Lag is a currency in certain parts of Norway.
- By fixing a car to your face, lag can be severly decreased.
- Lagmensions can be very serious, there is currently yet no way to stop the income of random information from other dimensions into ours.
And a goodbye to Audun That claims he has Given up on blogging because of this article from WikiHow.
Also, enjoy Smile by Lily Allen.
This is just PERFECT!
I just really find her way of handling raw fucking vengeance with the broadest smile on her face! Genius.
I think I've heard another song by her that annoys the hell out of me, but this is brilliant.
Also, when reading WikiHow recently, I found this fiiiine guide on how to avoid starting your own blog.
For most of you, and myself, this is already far too late.
But for you, non-blogging sir or madam, there might still be hope.
Picture taken by Mushrooms & Muffins in Media lesson (c)
The weather in Oslo has been varied the last few days. No badger storms - YET.
Youtube.com has been taking most of my time recently, my favourite video will be linked on request, because I think if I linked it randomly Foss will have me killed.
Incense is proving itself, again, to be a complete waste of mass on earth, as usual.
Velocity girl by Snow Patrol and Going Missing by Maxïmo Park are still excellent songs.
Thankyou and Hold tight.
I know it's not easy, I even visited the site of it all myself in 2004, it was, it was very very awkward. I know most of you have so many tough thoughts about the subject, and really there shouldn't be anything wrong with talking about it, but for some, it might just feel so wrong.
The cost of lives, the cost of friends and family, I'm just so sorry for all of you, that's really the only thing I can say as it is right now.
We have something to learn from what happened, as what doesn't kill us (or kills others incidentally) makes us stronger. If a car accident leaves us paralyzed from the neck and down this term wouldn't really be fit, so let's say "what doesn't kill you, makes you a bit more wiser". Though I believe nobody has actually been killed by a song for example, so that wouldn't be entirely correct either.
But to stop the silly running around in circles, we still have something to learn from all this.
Do NOT play with marbles and raging dressed-up hobbits on the annual Marble Festival in Hamar.
It just saddens me so much to think about it....
.... those marbles.. *sobs*
so far up that hobbit's arse... It must've hurt like hell!
The thing i I particularly watched her make was sublime: It was her thesis, the Thinktanker, a Very Large Crude Carrier made into a driving mobile global argument for the environment. How brilliant! How Norwegian! And what a vindication of an admiring teacher's fondest dreams, insight, imagination, the completely unexpected, all beautifully drawn.
Annika succeeded enormously. I was delighted after just a little time to realize how appropriate it was that the King of Norway then actually got to meet her. Justin, she and I continued to talk thereafter mostly on the subway platform about truth and beauty, notably, their ambitious plans for the drop-in toilet. They were off, it was beautiful to behold and we were all transformed by them. We were in touch with everything that mattered.
Justin asked me to say these words because he thought, kind friend, I might not break down. Before I do, let me send all my love to him and this last time, to Annika.
Words from the Memorial
September 16th, New York
by Prof. Paul S. Byard, Columbia University.
Now I've patched my feet up nicely, but they're hardly recognisable, there's more meat than skin visible.
My poor poor poor feet having to wear these overly wonderful shoes that just happen to be a pain to walk in.
Well, it was worth it, it was fucking worth it, those shoes are from heaven!
The only artist that has managed to have the lyrics changed, with coherence remaining, is as a matter of fact Prince, the king of gay-dwarven music.
Well done Prince!
To fly, fly me a river
fly me a river-er
fly me a river
fly me a river-er, yea yea
- Justin Timberlake
And if you want to talk about it once again,
On you I depend. I'll fly on your shoulder.
You're a friend.
- James Blunt
Could you fly a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that your feeling a little more pain
I gave, now I'm wanting
Something in return
So fly just a little for me
Don't you fly tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you fly tonight
Don't you fly tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you fly tonight
- Guns n' Roses
How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold?
Maybe I'm just to demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father, to bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves fly
I took a test over at bbc.co.uk about telling a part real smiles from fake smiles. The test displayed about 20 video-recorded smiles where the entire face of the subjects would be visible. It was then up to you to choose true smiles from false.
It was actually quite easy and I scored 20/20, you should Check it out yourself and see how good you are at judging smiles!
Here are pictures of my sister and me at the end of the two mentioned days, note that there are NEW shoppingbags spread over the bed for each day.
Day one Approx 7+ hours shopping
Day two Approx 9+ hours shopping
Special thanks to our little brother Torstein that patiently tagged along. Skjalg would get thanks as well, but he shopped for more than I did.
I only posted this in pure protest to them chicks that claim they are "Hardcore shoppers", I have a special message for them as well:
Go Home Suckers!! HAGHAGAHAGAHAHA! You Can Never Beat me!
The logo on it indicated it contained flowers! And never in my life have I received flowers from anyone but my mother, so this came as quite a surprise!
Even more surprisingly came Jamontigo! Because it was not just a flower, it was a plant! A wonderful plant with a big red flower!
I placed him next to my sofa in my new room, right underneath the stereo where he could listen to Ralph Myerz & The Jack Herren Band with me. I named him Jamontigo.
Today I took Jamontigo out for a walk in the garden and repotted him properly.
When I came back from shopping he had left me a note on my bed that said:
So I moved Jamontigo so he could live on the opposite end of the sofa, where there would be no attic-door that would make him cold. Now he lives together with my four favourite pairs of shoes, and he can see me all the time, so he doesn't feel neglected in a corner, because plants often are, he told me.
Suddenly it's not so lonely up in the attic anymore!