MSTRKRFT - Death from above

How twisted is that?

Call me a Taxi!

Soundtrack: Virginia Moon by Foo Fighters

They were standing quite peacefully on either side of the double glass door, their hats on their foreheads, long red coats with double rows of golden buttons touched the tip of their polished shoes. He stood on the left side, and he could not help but feeling incredibly smug in a uniform.

A woman came barging out the door, she was so covered in bags and packages, it was a miracle that she could even stand up straight. A little purple, furry bag fell to the ground, and he felt obliged to pick it up. He snapped it from the ground and reached it out to give it to her, but she looked offended and suddenly said: "Can't you see I am not able to carry that?! Could someone call me a taxi?". He was perplexed, and stood there with the purple purse in his hand, hesitating. -"Well?" Robert hissed, standing inpatiently on the other side of the glass door.

He didn't know what to say, rain was splattering down outside the little baldakin, and people were rushing by with great velocity. Robert gave him another inpatient hiss and he shrugged helplessly back. "Do you really suppose that is necessary?" he tried, Robert giving him a look like the planet just turned over, and the lady opening her mouth until it shaped a perfect little "o".

*fshhhhhh* the rain splashed angrily. "Well, if you insist" he said after another second of thinking.

"You're a taxi".
My right eye, or my left eye if you're standing right in front of me - your left, not my left. Or simpler ONE OF MY TWO EYES has gone all red. It hurts to move it around and it's very sensitive to light. I've experienced this before, during the summer once, and it's really uncomfortable!

But really, it is - so I was wondering if anyone could send me any replacement eyes and I'd be very happy. If you have a spare eye lying around somewhere.... Your wife's, your dog's, your son's - he wont need it yet anyway!
And I'll pickle the one I have and save it until it gets better and you'll get the eye back.. and some brown cheese if you'd like!

how to pick up a teabag

I am not a brit, and I am certainly no expert at drinking tea - so lets say I fail at both.
When using the word "teabag" in this blog post, I am referring to the tea leaves in a filter bag which you keep in warm water to give it flavour. I know what your nasty brain is thinking, you see, which is why I am telling you this.

This morning I was unusually unpresent on planet earth, I started with making up another bizarre excuse to why the alarm was going off, and why that meant it didn't mean that I was supposed to get up. It usually starts out like this:
' That is not my alarm, that is the special alarm to ring in the cattle, the very happy cattle, go go cattle, go eat some fresh hay.. Go have a nice morni...zzzZZZZzZz'

By the time I woke up it was five to seven in the morning, and I ran down to have a shower with my socks on, but luckily awakened a bit before I did.

While making my tea I started thinking about how to make it the "right" way. Not to play a citar and wear a straw hat while carefully pinning my eyelids to my ears - which is the chinese way -. But I am thinking of the British way of making tea.

Also whenever I want a yellow mentos, I get a pink one, whenever I want a pink, I get an orange, and whenever I want an orange... I don't really want the orange ones.

Ice creams

give plixxxxxxxxx

I really like the photo, it is pretty.


The German word for country broadcaster.
Now let me broadcast some good musix:

Turn the PageThe StreetsOriginal Pirate Material
Sea LegsThe ShinsWincing the Night Away
Kiss you BetterMaxïmo Parka Certain Trigger
Golden BrownThe StranglersLa Folie/Snatch (clicky) Soundtrack
Banana PancakesJack JohnsonBetween Dreams
Primitive (The way I treat you)Ambulance Ltd.Primitive (The way I treat you) [Single]

(please excuse the looooong area of blankness, you will have to ask blogger about it).

I give you...

... Swedish second place idol 2004, 20-yearold Darin Zanyar.

Emergency exits can be found there, here, here and back there.
Please remain calm.

I am sure the intense neck-head movement are due to his kurdish-blood, and are not caused by immense head-ticks. Well, either that, or both.

After eight

You realise as you eat chocolate and spearmint chewing gum together that you're not all that excited about mint chocolate really.

Not that you don't like after eight. Because you do like After Eight.


Happy Birthday King of Norway!

There is actually a part of a speech in one of the police Academy films where one of them thanks the King of Norway. I can't explain why I have seen that, or which of the seventy-seventynine films it was, but all I know is that it was meant to be an insult.

That is right.

But Norwegians have quite had it with that, we have had it with those tarty little jokes at our expense. We have had it with the pointing and giggling, we have had it! We have quite had it!
And as a revenge... well...
Little does the rest of the planet know that we are in control of everything now.
That air in your lungs... Where do you suppose the o in oxygen comes from?
That is right, it comes from Oslo.
Those apples in your eyes... Where d'ya think they come from? From Hardanger, you should bloody well know that, too.

And it is appropriate, I believe, that we demonstrate a little bit of power today.
After all, I want to thank the King of Norway, and, while at it, congratulate him at his birthday. He is 70 years today!

Total Recall

I just spent this afternoon watching Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger in it, you may hope I am joking... Well, so am I.

But unfortunately - I'm not.

Actually there were a few awesome things in this film, the entire plot for one, which I am not going to spoil for you, because you will have to see it to believe it, and not to forget; suffer with it.

For being a film from 1990 the special effects are extremely convincing, and somebody has had a lot of fun with all that fake blood. Still this is just about a bit too much splatter and splurt, though quote-classics like killing someone with a drill while saying "Screw you", is limited to films like this - and therefore - also necessary. There is just no end to reverted memory, shattering glass, explosions and endless machine-gun ammo, but I forgot to mention the best part: It all takes place in the future,
on Mars,
with a monster-bellied mutant as the underdog. You have got to see this, really.

Forever molested, your Tora.
It was nominated for two Oscars, someone call someone with some good pills for me please?

Syntax terror

A lot of errors can be a real pain to get, but this particular one was just a good laugh :D

Error 404 (Page not found)

There's been a problem finding the page you're looking for.

  • The page you are looking for has moved

  • Your referring site gave you an incorrect address

  • Something has gone terribly wrong


Tito the penguin!

Say hi!


I'm being sold on eBay! Now what on earth is that supposed to mean? I can't remember ever putting myself up for sale on the intarweb.


what have you done?

The obvious update

I have a new layout! How cool is that?
Must be a bad habit, I'm changing layout more often than you change your underwear, something which is obviously not very charming. I should change it way more often just to save us others from the smell!

I don't know though, but what do you think?

Mini-Andy visits Norway!

AMADAG! Mini-Andy and a snowman!


“The arses on the trousers aren't very tight. They're very loose and baggy and I like tight trousers. And the shoes - the shoes have got a bit of a heel, and it's a strange sensation for a man. Especially when you're running.” He mimes a mincing trot. “I am mighty Hornblower! Watch me run like a girl!”
- Ioan Gruffudd.

Ioan Gruffudd did an outstanding role as the charming Bosinney in the Forsyte Saga remake, which I watched, crying of course.

He also did a convincing manouver as the amazing Midshipman Hornblower, a book which I attempted to snore my way through - only because of him!
(wasn't worth it, never read it).

Other roles he's taken is of course the role as Mr. Fantastic in Fantastic Four (a title I personally found very suitable), and of course the charming Lancelot in the earliest King Arthur.

That's not bad for being Welsh. (No offense Josh).


This is light.

It can light up dark places.

You have just been enlightened.

got milk?

Marius with the cloak told me that I sounded a bit ill today, that my nose sounded like it was stuffed with rabbit babies and that my voice sounded rather thick.
Well, I thought, so I might be falling ill to this anyway. But i won't go down without a fight, you will not be seeing me with a runny nose and a throat coughing like a cows stomach. And even though I've been tortured on the most brutal of ways when removing (or attempting to remove) my snowboard boots when sitting in my dog's chair, by being repeatedly arm-pit raped by her tongue and sniffed up and down my back like any other greyhound, I will not be indignified this time. No sir.

So what about milk? What about milk? Got milk? Want milk?
Milk? Yes!

The average height of people from Holland (Netherlands if you wish) is said to be the top most in Europe, a dutch colleague of my stepad presented the idea of that being due to the high consumation rate of milk!
Milk contains attractive amounts of calcium, which together with a pinch of vitamin-D, can create miracles with your skeleton, it is also a refreshing feature if served chilled.
Hoping the banana-matrix alone would cure me of my soon-never-to-be illness was not being open-minded enough. So I figured I could list other things that I've eaten to keep myself healthy:
  • Apple
  • Cucumber
  • Pear
  • Vitamins
  • Melon
  • Mango
  • Oranges
  • and orange biscuits

"I Want you Back" - The Kooks


Matrix banana

My better half is currently home from work, being seriously ill. He was here this weekend, and it didn't look good, poor thing.
This thing he has, which we assumed was somekind of flu uses about three or four days to incubate before the inflicted can notice any symptoms.
So seeing he came here Saturday, I'll get sick today or tomorrow, which is a very strange feeling.

BUT, I wont give up quite that easy. I wont just walk around in my knickers, stumbling in the snow, waiting to fall over in dramatic seizures of coughing fits and spit blood in to my palms, no sir.

To believe that something is something will make it that something. If I truly believed that apples tasted like ginger, then they would. It's a weak theory, but my body is weak too, though it will not give in to some damn flu, just because nature tells me to.

Now, on Monday I ate about two or three bananas, telling myself as I did that these bananas would keep me healthy. It is sick, yes, but I'm not planning on getting sick, so you have to help me. You must tell me exactly how health-bringing and wonderful bananas are! It need not be much, just mention something about proteins or C-vitamins or fruit-hats or bouncing hop-top-jelly. It doesn't matter! As long as it will continue to convince me that it will "cure" me, then perhaps it will.

Donate a positive health-fact about bananas, keep your viking healthy.
Thankyou, and let's see if this will work.
(IF you can't find nothing about bananas, I also had some litchi......)

More of teh Zetlitz

Listen to the original version of "Fake Your Beauty" by Bertine Zetlitz,

then drop in on the Bertine Zetlitz & Kraftwerk remix "Fake Your Robot", it is awezome.

"Adore Me" - Bertine Zetlitz

All Snorewegians might say this is old, and yes, it is getting old.
But it is certainly worth sharing some Norwegian music.

Damn straight.



Chicken mushroom

Daily I spout random words, like the word "chicken", or other words like "mushroom".
Today I discovered that there is such a thing which is a combination of the two!

You guessed right - Chicken Mushroom!
I don't know why it is called Chicken Mushroom, it must be because it has a bit of an easter colour, it could be because it looks a bit like a hybrid between cauliflower and cabbage, and that has everything to do with chicken.


To adopt

Upcoming in social studies is a debate about gay-couples being able to adopt children, which is currently illegal in Norway.
And just thinking about it makes my blood boil, and I mean foam and burn, how can people even question whether people that are ready, willing, prepared and excited about adopting a child is allowed to do so?

I know a lesbian couple, one of them has children from a previous marriage, and they are both splendid people, they're competent, smart, funny and are raising to brilliant kids. Of course this does not apply to everyone, few things do apply to everyone - which is exactly why the whole debate is so absurd! So many "straight" couples end up having children at the wrong time, both economically and socially, so many people (this applies to the entire world) abuse and neglect their children daily. Some of the kids out there are lucky if they get to ever move away from home. You could say that a portion of the world's children would be better off without their parents, something which equals to the portion of children which would be so much better off with parents!

To have the ability, will, lust and energy to raise a child is not based on whom you share bed with at night, just the thought of that is far-fetched. Gay people are still human, and still have the heart and brain to be able to raise children. No mental or physical damage which can potentially harm a child will be caused by the sexual orientation of their parents, well, unless they are raving pedofiles - but that is besides the point. Point is, we are partially raised by our parents, and partially raised by the people and area around us, if there is one thing that a child with gay parents will learn which a child with straight parents wont, it would be to accept - something too few people learn these days.
Imagine if you were an orphan, you'd be living together with other orphans which would not - like yourself - be picked up by your parents from school each day. Think about the blessed day when you would have parents! Parents that will love you and care about you, be strict and set limits, teach you things and give you things, protect you and pick you up after school.

Things we take for granted is the highest wish for so many people out there, like the want of a child, and the want of a parent.

Like there are any straight couples out there which have been through sex-partners - become more suitable for bringing up little kiddies than gay people, that is ridiculous. And thinking of the child feeling different and ashamed? Would they not feel worse without parents? Would they not in time learn that they should be glad they have someone to love them there? I am absolutely convinced that we'll all grow up to become at least moderately good people, and it is not fair to tell people in the want for an apple in their eye that they should start to sleep with other people, then come back and we'll talk it over again. I feel so sorry for all of them that are denied of their highest wish, and I feel so sorry for them who are too blind to see that they are making peoples lives very difficult. I can't even imagine the pain.


At school

The most important thing to be aware of if sneaking around on the intarwebs in class (which I am not doing - of course not!) is the size of your teacher.

Might sound rather random and insignificant, but trust me - you must not underestimate the power of size.
It is not related to how hard the teacher will kick your arse, because in Norwegian school they generally don't do that. Actually they don't do that at all, at least not as long as I'm informed.

The danger lies in not noticing the location of the teacher, because suddenly you will discover that the teacher is RIGHT BEHIND YOU! *psycho shower-scene theme song playing*

Yes. Because when the teacher is the same height as a student it will be incredibly hard to tell the teacher out from the crowd.

But there is also other methods, like *the umbrella style*:
1. Wave a flashlight in the direction of the next pole
2. Insert two tablespoons of flaggpunsch and whisk lightly.
3. Play computergames.


Katjakaj og Bentebent

This is a childrens cartoon show, some of you might know it as "Jenniferjohn and Britneybob", and if you do, that is great!

Anyway, I was just thinking of an episode of "Jenniferjohn and Britneybob", when they were fishing in the sofa, and suddenly they could hear a bird. The bird is very scared, because it has the job of showing dead people their way to heaven, but today the bird was to fly to heaven for the last time. There is a man in a rocking chair, and he is rocking back and forth very gently until the chair suddenly stops, and the man is dead.
Jenniferjohn and Britneybob assure the bird that it is going to be okay, and that he has nothing to be afraid of, and the spirit of the dead man floats over ground, and the bird flies ahead to guide him. And together they soar across the sky to heaven.
It was all very childish, and sometimes even a bit silly, but in the end it was so moving that I cried, until there were no tears left to cry.

I haven't thought of these two crazy people for ages, but I was reminded of the episode when listening to "The Man Who Flew Away" by Husky Rescue.

If you want to read more about "Jenniferjohn and Britneybob" check out:

(I wish people would stop copying everything from wikipedia, because every single site I visited had the same thing written there about this show. Pathetic).

The books, the books, the books

and I was thinking that I can't think of anything to write in my blog, so I might as well read, but then I realised that I have TONS of books, my desk is in fact COVERED with books that I want to read. Or have to read, that depends on what book it is.
nighthogs for example, that I want to read. Same with Many Waters, phenomena, High Fidelity and a set of others, but when talking about the 45 kg books of "A suitable boy" I am already hesitating. And they are more like 45 kgs EACH, I am not exaggerating, well maybe a bit.
there is also Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which I hated and I will try to suffer through again. There is Flowers for Algernon, Because of Winn-Dixie, The Carpet People, Brown Cheese Please, Mort, Going Postal, Girl with a Pearl Earring, James and the giant Peach and other books that I'm nearly DYING to read again.

But I can't think of where to start.

So I thought it best not to start at all, and do a painting instead, that would work fiiine.

Yes, of course.

no, not at all.

Sleep Tight Tiger by Husky Rescue

Pictures from around the river now that it's winter.
Set to the song "Sleep Tight Tiger" by Husky Rescue, (thank you The Joy of Muffin) and then pasted together in iMovie. The song is very nice, it could've been my song, he singing about the tiger to sleep tight and everything, when my name is Japanese for tiger. Probably why I like the song, anyway.


A wonderful feature indeed. Thank you streampad.

(The song is Symbiosis by Ugress)

The *Future*

Television always told us that in the future we will be wearing jumpsuits with wirelss internet connection, have flying veichles, self-cooking food and the most amazing opportunities for both work, travel, housing and education.

Well enough about our opportunitites.
What about the opportunities, what about them?

The yellow-painted brick school, the big, old primary school right up my road, isn't that considered an opportunity?
The little, square ad with the printing ink smudged and rubbed out over it, looking for someone to take the job nobody wants, isn't that an opportunity?
The slightly curled flight tickets to Yemen, stained with eau de toilette and tucked away in your purse, are they not opportunities too?

What will happen to our wide options - that we today call extraordinary - will they become ordinary and slowly dissolve into pointless, futureless dead ends? Or will they continue to be options we may choose in life, and our new options will simply be for the best of the people?

The old school will rot, the yellow paint will be pale and all flaky around the corners, it will have heard its last cling of childrens laughter, and no teacher will slip on the icy stairs again.
The ad will long ago have been burnt, perhaps recycled - if you wish it a less bright future - forever tormented through repetative paper mills, old fibres exchanged with new, over and over, until the last, pathetic rests is inevitably thrown away. The job which it offered, which it bore so proudly, was never filled, the position remained empty, and the firm spent time counting pennies, calling it the day by lunch. Until final Armageddon.
The tickets to Yemen had lost their print, they can't go to Yemen, nor anywhere else. The tickets would be the lucky one of the opportunities, a collector stumbled across it one day and framed it. In blinding spotlight it was set, to look sheepishly out on a fascinated crowd for as long the conservatives would torture it. And then one day, it would finally be thrown away, close its eyes and sleep - content though abused - it would never have seen Yemen.

We are faced with opportunities, sometimes we choose to go with it, throw everything away and try it out, at times we regret that, but sometimes we regret the opportunities we did not seize. The time which we didn't throw everything away and test the mood of faith.
Then what would we regret the most? What was, or what could have been?

The Hardware Store

The song is by Weird Al :)

Ukelele Jake


A description of a cake

Just to practice on evolving my language to a wider vocabulary.

You could hear the rusten ricketing of the pan as it was carefully taken out of the old wooden stove.
Instantly the sensation of rich, flowing and full scents filled the air. The kitchen itself was damp, and the chefs stood around the cake, slowly easing it out of its pan and on to a round, shiny glass plate.

With stupefying expertise and adroitness one of them grabbed a whisk, and started to beat and cudgel a large portion of golden, luscious and rich caramel fudge. The velvety frosting was folded over and over, leaving small traces of where it before had been folded, and ever so slowly - going paler. Every now and then he lifted the whisk and the flowing, silky contents of the bowl slowly let go of the whisk and formed white, sharp tops, like a chain of snowy mountains.

Another chef rushed through the damp kitchen and grabbed hold of the bowl filled with wondrous little mountains and carried it over to the cake. With a spatula a third chef started to spread and unfold the meringued and heavy cream over the golden brown cake, parts of the tantalizing and appealing frosting partly melting into the cake.

As the savory and delicious cake was tucked away under the angelic cream, another three chefs were pouring a shiny and generous portion of melted dark chocolate on to a marble cutting board. Quickly they cut out shapes of leaves and branches, even tiny little berries, and flowers that looked so real, you would nearly lean over and try to smell them if you were there.
Once again a flow of scents gently caressed the nostrils of the present as candied lemon and strawberry was taken out from the blazing and flickering oven.
At another corner, a tray of muffins was being covered in a thin layer of coconut icing, the exotic flavour seemingly creating a different atmosphere.

A last, fat chef took hold of the cooled chocolate foliage and arranged it around on the cake, filling in any gaps with candied lemon and sugar-covered strawberries.
They all knew very well, because things went to a sudden still, steam stopped to fume, water stopped to foam, glowing embers stopped to smoke, and the kitchen stopped to clatter. The sensation of rich and attractive cake slowly filled the silenced room, like a carpet of pure perfection.

they had in fact made, this very indefectible, faultless, pure, paradisiacal, absolute and perfect cake.

Happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear Audun,

happy birthday to you!

Hurra for deg som fyller ditt år
ja deg vil vi gratulere
alle i ring omkring deg vi står
og ser når du vil marsjere
bukke, nikke, neie, snu oss omkring
danse for deg med hopp og sprett og spring
ønsker deg av hjertet alle gode ting
og si meg så hva vil du mere?

høyt våre flagg vi svinger hurra
ja nå skal vi riktig feste
dagen er din og dagen er bra
og du er den aller beste
se deg om i ringen hvem du vil ha
danse en dans med den du helst vil ha
vi vil alle sammen svinge oss så gla'
for en av oss vil bli den neste -
til å feste!

I wrote that myself, but my primary-school memories are fading, so it might be a tiny bit incorrect. <3
Happy birthday!

World of Warcraft chatlogs


I have teh hiccups

and it makes my screen shake!


i say no more!

Oculus Caliga Cacia

The Oculus Caliga Cacia - more easily put as the Seeing Boot Tree, or the Muflad-ing (heavy ing), can be found across a wide area of the german woodlands. Being commonly classified as a spruce-tree, the Oculus Caliga Cacia (or the Muflading) is actually a part of the Ginkgoaceae family. In the Ginkgoaceae family you can also find the Gingko Biloba, also known as the Maidenhair tree.

Muflading grows like any other tree, except that it slowly implodes after a certain amount of time. Implode is the opposite of explode, something which you probably already have guessed, and means that the tree suddenly shrinks. The process of the imploding starts when the tree is just a seed, but the implosion will happen when the tree is about 100-350 years, when it in a very sudden and unexpected fashion, disappears completely.

Well not completely, one thing is left of the Muflading after it has imploded, and that is a crunchy cone, not a pine-cone of course, but an ovally shaped and green sticky cone filled with lemon curd.

In Germany, cooking the Muflading cone would mean bad luck, so they called it the "Verflucht Kiefernzapfen", which basically means "The cursed pine-cone", so instead of eating it (which would be the recommended use) they would stuff one in to each ear to provoke a divorce or to free oneself of all the seven sins, preferably both.

Today the Muflading has extended with the ability of walking and can cross great areas in a very short amount of time. The speed is startling for its size, which just about equals somewhere between a taxi and a maxi-taxi. Mufladings eat woodpeckers and forest slugs, and also make that hooting sound mostly connected with owls, but that is a common misconception, and the owl does no such thing as to hoot, but the Muflading does.

Stubborn little child

At the bus the other morning, I was very busy looking out the window, I think it was raining and it was quite cold too. At the next stop a young woman and her daughter got on, they walked to the very end of the bus, at the back - in other words - the seat behind me. The bus started again, and we snailed along the morning traffic, rain all around us.

"I will hold on to you so you wont fall when the busdriver starts the bus" the mother said. But the little girl looked straight at her mother, in a tone she had very likely stolen from her and she said: - "No, it's fine. I am not going to fall. I can sit, and you don't have to hold me, because I am not going to fall". I smiled to myself as the mother took a good hold of the little girl as the bus suddenly took a steep turn, and the girl said so determined - her voice was nearly making decisions by itself- to her mother: "Let go, I can sit without your help!" But the mother didn't let go, instead she cleverly changed the subject to make the girl aware of what stop they were getting off at.

The little girl though, even more clever, while her mother was talking - slipped out of the womans hands and into the seat next to her, holding hard with little pink fingers, around one of those yellow bars they have in there so you wont topple over.

I am happy to see that parents still raise children with integrity and intelligence, I keep getting so worried when reading about how the LEGO pieces keep getting larger, and how much school they are going to punch into the little kids when they are still so young.

You can say all you want about the youth getting overweight, lazy and with a lack of creativity, but I think parts of that is due to how children are not allowed enough to ble children (or are children for too long) in this society. All you really want to do is grow up, because being a kid these days really sucks. You are the target of 60 % of all the advertising out there, you are vulnerable and socially still developing, when you should be digging holes and smearing mud all over your tongue, you are being sent to school and taught all kinds of irrelevant things.

In addition we have parents that are too old to be parents, because they spent too long getting educated and economically stable before they had kids. With no spare energy they place the kids in front of the television set, and fanatically protects them from dogs and strangers. Young humans are raised to fear the unknown, thus encouraging racism and prejudice - this does not apply to all of course, it is just a thought.

and a scary thought too...

Breathe in - Frou Frou

This is a very good song, I like it very much.


Jokes4all.net :D :D


teh blog isn't workeeeeeng!

wtf lol lol lol

ai do not spik englaaaash, I lern inglash fram baaak! iz'a gaad baak. veri gad.

do jo spik ingleeeeesh???
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