0

inspire!

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
- Jack London
4

Bominski



Minsc and his hamster Boo, the ones behind the name Bominski.
Some of you may not know her.
2

Simon says....



and so do I!
0

okay, so, Paolo Nutini

I know, seriously.

A person like me should not normally fall so easily for things like this, and I even posted a video in my blog - for everyone to see.
- Hardly very original, first off, he isn't original! But his looks are like an exotic and younger blend of Mick Jagger and Richard Ashcroft, the genre somehow uncignificant, all blended with something I am not quite able to place. The music is completely monotone, his voice though creative - bothers me in the long run.

Though of course he is still suitably anemic and tall, looks like he has not had a moment rest for at least five weeks, all topped with a f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c dark (mind you) hairdo. The lyrics are easy to remember, but not even near quality songs like those of ... Arctic Monkeys for example, which in my opinion is top-class poetry and also has strong relevance with an actual growth in the moderness of this century's music industry! Paolo Nutini's Lyrics has inspired the writer of this blog which by the way has a fantastic layout!

He will survive for a while on those good looks, and I wish him luck and that he doesn't flop. Perhaps there's a chance he might manage it - even though he's from Scotland.

Paolo Nutini - New Shoes



I absolutely adore shoes, and this person happens to not be as bad either!

<3 /persnickety

whop!

Coming up under the scope of writing literature is the matter of modernizing hell and heaven as the human race continue to evolve, and I promise - there will be escalators and wireless internet.

Not getting completely rid of old habits, not completely giving in to the modern way - how is the ordinary day at the office when working at cloud #9?

And what on earth happens when the dreaded report comes in, and suddenly there has to be changes?

Plastic clouds and fake blood in replacement for the real thing, nylon stockings doing the job for chains, and plastic bags for wings. Who will step up to whip order into after-life as we know it?

Will you?

Find out and read on, work in progress ;)


Tora © 2007

P.S
This is my favourite bit:
-"Cardboard stalactites? How does that even save money? It probably cost more to have the real ones removed! What's the use of stalactites made of stiff paper? - And what in the flying fluttering flop did they do to the real ones?" Marcus said, having read over Elliot's shoulder, now yelling partially out the window of the office.
-"I believe you will find that your matress has been replaced" Elliot replied, sounding pessimistic. There was a small grunt as Marcus continued to read, and the next line only infuriated him further.
-"The Steps of Pain Equal to Nine Million Rounds Through IKEA™ is being replaced by an escalator?! What will become of this place?! It is a hell for shirt-lifters n' old ladies! That's what it is! Next you know it they will make the coffee machine make exclusively de-caf! Who do they think they are?!" Outraged, Marcus stretched out for a cigar - but before his eyes the decorative Cuban box became a little tin of B-Vitamins. His ears emitted little dots of annoyed smoke.
2

The question is...

If a man is alone in the forest, and he says something, and there's no woman there to disagree with him.

Is he still wrong?











yes

7

One hour ahead of ourselves

We plunge in to the startup-week of the most random holiday of the year.

Easter is close, which means we'll be having eggs filled with stationary, paper-clips, erasers, pens, staplers, markers and other important office-accessories which an easter can't go by without. That is the plan for the eggs this year anyway, according to the ('o mightier-we-are-not-worthy*) mother.

Last year I spent the most of this respected random holiday pushing compost through this compst-mashing-machine. I am sure there is a word for that, but even TriTrans couldn't help me with that.

Anyway, I spent the holiday tossing compost around, there were mostly branches and long, pointy, sharp and difficult things - most likely not fitting into the machine - that I had to work with. Consideriing the fact that it is actually a bit of fun doing that for the first two hours, the following three or four days may not be even remotely as enjoyable, even in the sun.
The sun makes freckles spawn in my face, brown spots like thirsty cattle to a water-hole, or the skin-disease to the inconsiderate and short-minded vagabond. Either way, they appear.

As I came back to school, people started telling stories about how THEY had spent their easter, places like Gran Canaria, Mallorca, Monaco, Thailand, even France, Greece or Italy - while as I - tanned and blonde as I may: Would admit that I had actually been spending easter watching rotten greenery getting chopped to bits by a very noisy machine.

Nobody on this snotty proper side of town would ever ever believe me, and they were mildly outraged to say the least!

On another note, my project called Skies is finally finished, I believe I mentioned it before (both in May and June and October). Well anyway I put it on YouTube for everyone to see!

Click here!



*think-this-is-working?

Starve the feeding world

Even though a blogger reach a certain point where one is bound to discover ones RSS feed is actually fully potent of feeding a small third world country, like Malawi or Ghana, there is this little squirming seed of inspiration that will eventually force you back to the keyboard again.

It is hard getting rid of old habits, especially habits which are addictive as well, addictive or fun.
Today I held a full bottle of "Flaggpunsch" in my hand, I could not buy it because I had forgotten to bring my 21 yr. old ID-card, which is a shame, honestly,
You see I have been in Sweden, in Kläppen in fact, snowboarding, and it was straight out faaaaaantaaaaaastic. It is a wonder I have yet to develop diabetes 2, because I have been eating an amount of sugar which is approximately equal to the amount of snow in which I have tumbled around in.
I realise now that it will be extraordinary difficult to wait for next winter, it is too long, and I am going to miss snowboarding this year more than previous years seeing I love it more now than ever ever ever ever before.

In Sweden I have also through my ears indigested an unhealthy amount of "High School Musical" and Phil flippin Collins, which can quite frankly go straight to Blokksberg and never ever come back. My ears are bleeding and weeping in a mixed soup of depression, anger, sadness, sickness and incredible frustration, I can't believe people expose themselves to such pain on purpose! They actually sit down and devour such utter shitty and horrible music, it is a disgrace for the music market as a whole, an insult to every instrument and certainly a form of speaker-system repetative rape. Some of the worse songs I have had to sit through, hating every second, damning every little annoying note and swearing to never do such a gruesome thing to my precious ears again! SERIOUSLY. Well it is not as if I had much of a choice, it was all forced on me, pressed down my throat like rust down a drain, scraping out my soul and leaving it fleshy and open. So much for socializing, you just realise that in the end, other people are just people with repulsive taste in music. Ain't it?

This weekend I am going to Bergen, there it will probably rain. Thank God I appear not to shrink in water.

Do you need any help?

when working in a shop, almost regardless of which shop - you always have to ask customers if they are interested in some professional help when looking around.
This is both a method as to wish customers welcome and wanted, as it is to show that you are keene on helping them.
When it comes to theft, surveys show that thieves and shop-lifters tend to leave the shop immediately if they get noticed. It is like telling them that you are keeping an eye on them, as well as acknowledging their existence.

The most fascinating part of the "Do you need any help?" question, is not as much about the question in itself, but the replies. Of course I both know, understand and mean myself that I absolutely despise getting that question in my face some times. While as on occasion it is like manna from the sky, it is more often another annoying blister on mother earth's hiney.

These are the most common ones people retort automatically:

"No thanks, just looking".
"No thanks, we're just taking a peek".
"No thank you, I'll let you know".
"Hrmpf".
" *you are being ignored* ".
"I'd rather not, thanks".

These are all good, we've all said them and heard them, but the best one is the one which is contradicting itself!
Scenario:

Tora: "Hi, would you like any help?"
Customer: "No thank you, I'm looking for a China which has these rings as a tree, you know? It looks like the rings on the inside of a chopped log, it is egg-white, and the pattern is very discreet, I am looking for three of those teacups with saucers, all of them wrapped nicely as a present for my sister!".

You see? That is certainly not a no, that is clearly a yes! Now how come people can't tell the difference?
yes yes yes yes yes, no no no non on ononononon?!
2

in the hood

I wonder why we in 2007 still have jumpers with hoods. Especially ugly hoods.
I can see the practical use in a hood which looks nice, a hood which you can put your head in and protect it from falling bricks or mutated salmon badgers, you know they can do severe damage to the scalp tissue, causing a thousand dollar worth in dandruff.

but them salmon badgers are close to extinct now, are they not? So I see absolutely no reason for that they should still create jumpers with hoods. They are always in the way when putting a jacket on OVER a jumper with a hood. Wearing several pieces of clothing - all of them which has hoods - on top of each other is proven incredibly difficult.

Besides you get a load of water in the hood if it rains, and you can get heavy back pains, or even paper back. Justin cries you know, for you ruining the sexy back.

Perhaps the only good thing with hoods is Cherry Hood.

"Oliver" by Cherry Hood
Image Copyright © by Cherry Hood
Watercolor on paper
1500 x 1020 mm
An illustration in "Harold's End"
0

stop the bus!

This morning I had everything under control, I was right on time, and of course, seeing I am always late, I felt exceptionally pleased with it.

As I was just rounding the corner of the local youth club, I discovered to my horror that yours truly's bus was already letting passengers on! I started running, and I crossed the road in front of the bus while it was pulling over from the sidewalk and on to the road - doors closed. I gathered my hands to a small bundle and looked the bus driver in the eye, he pointed his thumb towards the door as it opened, and I hopped on board. Instinctively I said "Hurra! Takk!" which means "Hooray! Thank you!"

His reaction was to smile and laugh at me as I went to sit down.
And bus drivers hardly ever smile, so I suppose I did him a favour too.

Coming to think of it, I should've just turned back and gone home, because I think I am about to catch a cold.

2

Chocolate Fondant

Tonight I made the most delicious, warm, chocolate fondant. It was moist and spongy like a cushion around the edges, soft and runny in the centre. All a perfect combination of full, tender and seductive chocolate, a most amazing tongue-tickling Tuesday treat - oh yes.

5

Prince, the purple sex-gnome

Controversy
I would die 4 u
0

Tivoli Tree!



Yes yes, you may ignore the sound :D
isn't it pretty though? I filmed it when in Copenhagen
3

March, you bastard!

We did it again, can't believe we fell for it again, we so totally fell for it this time. March was faking this spring thing, and going all "oooh-plus-degrees" "ooh-oh-ooooh-all-the-snow-has-melted-oooh-look-at-me". And we were all "Aaah, zamg, teh snow is meltead awayz, it'z totailly zpring dingdang, take teh clothes offf!".

Today it snows in Oslo.
We are such fools!

0

Seasonally Scottish

I was watching BBC Food again. and I had just finished around fifteen minutes of some very enjoyable Rocco's Dolce Vita, which is not as great as Giorgio Locatelli's Pure Italian, which is not, again, as good as Tony & Giorgio (with Tony Allan and Giorgio Locatelli).

Anyway, and suddenly "Seasonally Scottish" popped up, I have seen it before, it always have some pretty scenery in it and things. After the intro (containing as expected, a very great lot of scenery) and a short introduction, a voice says: "Today at 'Seasonally Scottish' we will be making blahblah and blahablahabalah for starters, blahblablblbla and some excellent blhahablah for the main course, for dessert we will be making a dark chocolate mousse cake..."

My toes curled, my spine twisted itself around my ribcage,my ears seemed temporarily clogged with whatnot and I could not hear what more the narrator said. All I knew as I sat there, my brain feeling horribly similar to Lemon and Meringue Pie, was that I had to shut the TV off, I had to close my mouth - and then, possibly - go and eat masses of dark chocolate.

It happens that I went to tidy my room instead, which was a shame really!
0

Yatta! Yatta!



I'd completely forgotten about this, can't understand how I did!
This is absolutely brilliant, fantastic and gross and awesome all at the same time!

Good grief!

"It's so easy,
happy-go-lucky"

is my favourite phrase in this song. And who's not diggin' the outfits, oy?
3

Wha...?

After disappearing from school just three days into fall term, the man of mysteries; Alexander - has reappeared.

Tobias and I have been making up all these stories about his mysterious disappearance, all the teachers have ever been able to say has mainly been, "I don't know where he is, I suppose he is ill".

Coma was one of the top-ten, and even though it does sound more than extraordinarily unlikely, we still kept telling teachers he was away because he was in a coma.

Once we even claimed he was halfway to the moon by now, and that he may even be attempting to save the world one way or the other.

Well astronaut or patient, Alexander showed up today - to everybody's surprise, and it seems he has in fact just been ill, though ill for a long time. We will still be hoping that he saves the planet one day, perhaps he owes that to us, for keeping him alive for all this time.


Nutmeg.
8

Otto

Thoughts and love go out to "Otto", he is the most terrific and loving dog there is (well, except one)!
He is about the size of a bike, a pony if you like, weighing about 70 kilos, with golden fur and big, big big paws.

His most known trait is the drooling. One time when he was visiting here, he got the hots for our dog, she is a rotweiller and her name is Cleo - and he was literally drooling all over her.
She was soaking wet 24 hours a day for his entire stay, with a constant displeased expression on her face, every now and then trying desperately to rub against something to dry all the drool off - with varied results. Otto usually put his lion-like head on top of her back and stared intensely at her, thick and heavy drops of drool sliding down her back.

Cleo

Otto has always run away, not because he has had a bad home - on the contrary I say, perhaps he just ran away for some adventure.
Anyway, recently a childrens nursery has set up right by his owners' house and he kept running away to play with the kids. He did nothing wrong, and even though he is a very big dog, he would never harm anyone.
All the complaints have led to that Otto have had to be transferred to a new family, but there was a rotweiller girl there which didn't like him, and he had to be transferred back again after just a month.

Otto

Otto can't stay where he is now, and he desperately needs a new home. I am trying hard to get him to move in here, I have always liked Otto a lot - and I am sure he would make a fine supplement to the house! He might be exactly what we need!
Though seeing not everyone is as keene as me at getting Otto under a roof - he might be homeless for a good while to come :(

Poor Otto.

Otto is a dog:


(Otto, six months old - half the size of a Taxi).
0

Hammertime

4

Blender 3D

The other day I was trying out a free 3D animation program named Blender.

This is apparently extremely popular, here's a few things made with blender:


Made by Womball


Made by Steve1000

You can find several other things madw with blender here and here of course.

Well, my eye was hurting, and I couldn't really figure out how to use it whatsoever, but I made this:



I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.
0

Tito the penguin, again.





Six things about Tito you did not already know:



1. The way I want my bacon?
Crispy, vicious, hot and dark - just like I like my.... bacon.

2. Number of ex-girlfriends?
1, 2, 3, 4... 5, 6..... hmmm..... 1. Just 1.

3. My birthday?
February 20th.

4. World peace?
Yes please.
Hold on, who?

5. Ginger-ale?
Only on mondays, I'm trying to quit.

6. Primary-school summary?
Chalk, sardines, cold lunches and slippery floor.

Candied Apple-peel

1, Candied Apple-peel is actually made of skin from dwarves, soaked in honey and deep-fried in boiling cod-liver oil.

2. Cod-liver oil is actually made from the bum of bees, shaken, not stirred.

3. Honey is actually made by cods, not bees.

4. Bees grow on apple-trees, and must be de-barked every nine years to prevent cellulites.

5. Dwarves can root everywhere, just like potatoes.

6. Candied potato-peel most likely doesn't taste half as nice as candied apple-peel.

7. Cods live from eating apples, most apples come rising up from the sea at night.

8. six plus eight cods makes four times ten ninths of a half bee plus six dwarves and four halves of three sixths of a quarter of a potato.

9. Cods don't actually have livers, but they have glands.

10. There are no such thing as real apples.
5

Hybrid



One of the more fascinating things about how society is developing is how everything mashes together and becomes this tangilbe, creamy sludge that can be used as anything.

Food, food which is consumed to provide the body with necessary nutrients and keeps us going - yes - food, food is now slimming. We eat food which is doing the opposite of what it is supposed to do! Low carbs, low fat, low sugar, sweet n' low, low on whatnot, and it is brilliant! I hope you don't fail to see the irony.

Chewing gum is not only for occupation of the jaws, it cleans your teeth! It freshens your breath and whitens your smile.

Your phone, your phone, it has a flippin camera on it! - What on the hell on the earth is that all about?!

Your yoghurt, it is full of müsli.

Your computer, it is packed with television series.

Your make-up, it's good for your skin.

The shampoo for your hair, it cleanses your scalp.

Your mp3-player, it has photographs in it.

Your local crockerie, it has more pillows than it has china and porcelain.



Tiger-lions, anyone?

Technic overpower

It is so good that the school which I attend has such good technical equipment. It is after all, the school displayed most in Norwegian media with hundreds of applicants each year.

The most important reason for many applicants for my school are the active and clever students brought forth by the wonder of laptops. The laptops are in technical absolutely great shape and if something by chance would not work as it is supposed to(!) the students have figured out several ways to get it back on track again. The most effective method is to take the laptop, hold it above your head and shake it a little, that usually kicks it right back into action. If that doesn't work, there are several other things one can do, like pressing all the buttons simultaneously and seperately, until you completely shut the internet down and pull out the battey with force. Then you only have to reinstall windows, and the rest is a walk in the park.

In every classroom the school board have installed a new speaker system with a subwoofer and bass-amplifier, but we really didn't need that because we have an overhead wich make funny sounds when we plug it in.
The technical blackboard of wonders "Smartboard" have been punctured a long time ago, every spanish-teacher have written "chapter 16" on every smartboard in the entire school with waterproof markers. To use this technical wonder of a smartboard, you have to use the projector which is fastened in the roof. This may seem a bit difficult in the beginning - but trust me, it's easy. The Projector usually has a kind of secret start-code which changes every time, it usually goes like this: "left arrow, right arrow, right arrow, exit, right arrow, on, off, right arrow, left arrow, left arrow, right arrow, left arrow, reboot". It can still seem a bit problematic to use the projector, because the classroom upstairs are always moving the furniture around so the projector is shaking. Though that doesn't really matter, the projector is set at an angle that shoots the images halfway out the window anyway.

At such a big school it is important that during class you have plenty of access to electricity, what is Norwegian-lesson without proper plugs for everyone? Well, you have to have lots of plugs in a school, so the school board thought it clever to put every single one of them in classroom p10. It is good to have so much power in the classroom, you need lots of heat when you sit still all day and the thermostat has frozen stuck on 5 degrees. To be entirely sure that all the electric appliances function optimally the fuse terminal box has been placed at a spot where it is especially easy to reach by naughty students, so they can peel the insides out with sharp pens.
0

Klaxons - Golden Skans



I know the intro is a bit long, and I will stop to post all these videos very soon.

I was at the doctor today, and I got some eyedrops for my polluted left eye. He didn't know what was wrong with it either!
Enjoy Klaxons ;)
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