2008 Hot Trends

You are as usual missing out on fashion, and the fact that a new year full of bimbling opportunities await you - it, it simply does not seem inspiring. First off, you couldn't possibly bother typing out the word 'fashion' or 'trends' on your smelly keyboard - or read magazines, or bother looking around and see what 'cha can get out of what everyone else is wearing. Second, well, you haven't before. So why now?

I'm going to tell you why. Because my list of the most Ă¼berdelicious, spankingly gorgeous trends has NOTHING to do with what everyone else think is fashion. You put your hat on your bling and dangle your chimney from your ears - that is fashion. It's got nothing to do with what actually looks, tastes, feels or smells good. The 80's are a great example of just that.

Give it a go, c'mon, you know it makes sense. You can wear a tent wrapped under your armpits, and still look absolutely breathtaking. All you got to do is straighten out your posture and walk with confidence. They're all going to think you're king of the mods.

This year you'll give trends a shot!
Here is my fabulous, updated list of what's hot - and what's not, for 2008!

1. Pale skin, go for a sexy ghost-look, a beautiful milky-blue complexion is this seasons ideal - If you ain't white, it ain't right!
2. Squids - either if it's squid shoes, a squid bag, or squid chopped in to your sushi, squids are a top must have for every occasion!
3. Yuzo flavoured Lakerol - the golden little tooth accessorie to go with anything!
4. Glitter, sparkles, silver, gold, bling bling and conflictless diamonds! Bring in the chandeliers!
5. Litchi fruit, the grape-like fruits are schlooptastic for salads, desserts and also does excellent as the perfect makeshift evening gown.
6. Glasses - frame your eyes with a pair of lele-llllicious eye-goggles!
7. Smurfit! Take your sock and smurf-it!
8. YuzoPumpsBongoSatan is officially the hottest band. If you haven't heard their underground club-slammer "Yuzo" - Well, you have plans this weekend. This is the most wanted band for gigs in 2008, and their heavily anticipated album "Split, Total Hit" was released January 1st.
9. "The Mighty Boosh". You will love it, I will make you love it.
10. Combs. Cave-look or princess-look are both perfect, just go all the way.
11. New Rave reflective-clothing colours. Think post-it notes, but add some glitter and some flair.

1. A tacky, brown, pornstar tan. - Orange is out! By all means avoid the sun, the solarium, self-tanning, brown make-up foundation or any other colourings! Au naturale with some white compact powder finish is perfect.
2. Organic food - if everyone eat organic food, it wont be enough food for our planet. This season is all about being considerate! Throw in a bit of additives.
3. "Trendy" workout-outfits - and all kinds of running. You don't want to be caught dead running this upcoming season. And especially not in a matching outfit.
4. "Trend"-blogs. Don't read them, it's all lies.
5. Ringtones and all other fancy downloads for your mobile phone is a no-no-no NO!
6. Facebook, of course. (Was never hot in the first place, obviously).
7. Nylon and fake textiles are fashion disaster, never ever even consider show yourself under the sun wearing nylon. You'd be lynched!
8. Mispronounciation of "espresso" (expresso) is considered social suicide.
9. Cigarettes. Smoking will discolour your stunning milky white complexion. Eeew!
10. Moustaches, beards and sundried tomatoes.
11. Cars are a definite trend-killer, walking, strolling or riding your bike is the perfect booster for 2008.
Full size.
If you have your visual spam-filter on, have a hangover, or you simply just hate reading those schmockingly long texts I vomit out on your screen, I promise I'll give you what's HOT and NOT in pictures as soon as I'm done turning off my own filter and slept the pain away.



Audun said...

Does this mean my bacon-tuxedo is out of fashion? I spent hours and hours making that.

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