0

I really can't think of a single thing to say


But haggis.


And, goodbye January!
Did you know...?
A snail can sleep for 3 years.
The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
10

Dear inactive readers.

I know I read my own blog obsessively several times a day and periodically quite excessively, which can be embarrasing. But it is because I take knowledge from seeing how I fail or succeed on expressing myself with a foreign language, not because I am so content with my own scribblings that I simply can't get enough of myself.
Well, that is at least not the case every day.

I can write about very random things in this blog and then go off and forget it - to then return again, read it and be tenuously amused by it. Obviously, this messes up my visitor counter - so the numbers are highly affected by my own numerous visits during the day, or during a layout-update or after posting something with several pictures that is strenuous to edit.

Something which I know also though; is that every month I get the sporadic, infrequent visit of "The inactive reader".

That, my dear tentative spectator- is you.

Now-now, I really hate you.

You are like a sting, or a pain that has left no mark - so I can feel it, but can't prove it to anyone! "I fell on the moon, and I scraped my knee!" - Well there is no way I can show that to you now, can I? - No. And that is your fault.

You just bounce in here like an obnoxious, thankless poodle - and you scroll around, smile narrow-eyed at the hit-counter and then cackle manically as you click refresh again. And you are as annoying and indecipherable as a venereal disease picked up by a hairy sailor in Singapore. It was pleasurable enough to have you join, but it's really disturbing to try to find out who (or what) you are!

So my humble, curious, unhinged mind pitifully begs you to leave me a little comment, or a biscuit. Or some proof for that you were here, even though you actually hate me, and read it only so that you can hate me some more - but that's alright, isn't it? I can hate you too, I even think I did earlier in this very post!

PS: Haha, why, yes! People often mistake me for a mole!! Wow, can't believe you noticed!

Flonch

Flonch is the fleshy pink meat that can be seperated from the inside of old speakers. If you have been using your speakers for a very long time you can flip the backside open with something sharp and leave the speakers under humid, moist conditions for a couple of days.

The result will be small, perky cakes of a stringy, salty meat that has gathered on the inside of the sound-ommophones. Sound-ommophones are obviously the little spanish electrodes that can read CD's and Mp3s and sing the contents out loud to you exactly as they are written.

Flonch is commonly misconcepted for being dead Sound-ommophones, or dead Sound-ommophone babies, which could seem like a logical explanation to the appearance of flonch. Though flonch is actually particles of sound that have over the years been unable to get out of the speakers - you may call it the bits of music that are written off by Darwin. The little sounds that were never allowed to shout it out to you. The reason why flonch is more apparent after remaining in a humid environment is that music is made from water. Why else do you think pirates and sailors are famous for singing, and not ninjas?

When confronted with its actual watery form, the flonch incarnates as slushy, spongy, ear-coloured meat and looses its ability to sound. It is very nice with scallops and lemon, or baked potatoes.

Flonch is also known as

1. Being positive or desirable in nature.
2.Having the qualities that are good or distinguishing in a particular thing.
3.Serving the desired purpose or end.
4.In good condition.
5.Superior to the average.
6.Of high quality.

"We had some flonch news from the hospital."

"That band were flonch!"
Source: urbandictionary.com

2

The Music Web-Society

It's been a while since I updated my music library actually. Over eight days! So now it needs to be spanked right into shape again, as this, obviously wont suffice.

So as I get most my music influnces from the wonders of the cross-wide-wooble-web, also known as the "Internet" - I thought I might discover some more on here. But, abnormally I am getting a little laid off by all the web-societies and so, -- I figured I'd create my own.

R- rright - now!

There, hi, hello - What do you enjoy listening to?

Edit: Here is what I'm currently enjoying:

The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset
Hot Chip - Ready for the Floor
Hot Chip - The Beach Party
Nada Surf - I like what you say
Badly Drawn Boy - Silent Sigh (yes, still!)
5

I'm back again!

Yay! :(

Now I want to go travelling, anyone keen on a visitor?
I don't smoke, like dogs - but have a hard time communicating with cats.

Apart from that - I'm great! And fun!

How have you been? I got a hoodie that says "Merton College, Oxford" on it. It's hot!
3

Off and away


I'll see you next week, honeycombs!
4

My mama told me

That muesli eats your brain from inside :(


2

Soup Crimp

Soup, Soup - a tasty soup, soup
A spicy carrot and coriander, chili chowder!

Crouton, crouton - crunchy bread in a liqid broth
I am gaspachio - uh! I am a summersoup - mm!

Miso, miso - fighting in the Dojo
Miso, miso - oriental prince in the land of soup!

Crimping is the art of simultaneous rhyming, ordinarily performed by two people. It can resemble a song, but often has the rhythm of a poem. One is allowed to dance to it, and the tone and use of ones voice is the most important effect.

It has been proven that a four-man crimp is possible, but not easy!

Let me see you make a crimp!
3

Thoughts of a Viking Exclusive Blinkie Selection '08

Hello!

erhm. Yes. This is an appeal to my reader(s). I don't know if you exist,

but mum - hi, could you..? Just... Please vote.
I'm trying to decide which of the following blinkies deserve a spot on my sidebar, and seeing they're all amazing - I obviously need your help! Thank you!

1. Skittles:


2. Spongebob:


3. Watermelon:


4. Red Wine:


5. Pie:


6. Life:


7. Geek:


8. Frog:


9. Ducky:


10. Advice:


I think you should vote for the ones that suit my blog best.

10

Don't worry, chicks & lads

It's definately a choice. Nobody should be allowed to force a baby on you.

I just really feel like this needs to be said at the moment. The whole internet is full of "Pro-lifers". What? Like the parents' don't have a life. (Well they obviously don't - but you know what I mean, if you first go smack - no way back).

0

Somersault

Yesterday I saw an Australian film called Somersault.
To my surprise I actually liked it, because even though it was increasingly strange - it was also quite realistic, in its own, unlikely way. I daresay this is a very uncommon ability for a film to have, which is why I liked it.

Not exactly action-packed, it did require some patience and some afterthought, as it was very symbolic (directed by a girl you know, we always want to make it hard for you).

A very poetic, curious, gentle film. Detailed, and mellow.

Quiet, low-key, and splendidly warm.


Like honey on toast.
0

Ut i Vår Hage 2

And so the second season of the Norwegian comedy series (from which we already know the tragic story of Danish language) has begun. Ut i Vår Hage 2. (Out in Our Garden - which actually doesn't really apply to anything the shows about).

They actually manage to take the piss of gays, muslims, the theater, China, Swedes, the church, adoption, terrorism and Norwegian film industry in one single episode. It's comedy genius, and I wish everyone could love it.

And it's absolutely excellent! First episode was absurd beyond reason! Perfect!
Seems like Atle Antonsen, Harald Eia and Bård Tufte Johansen has done it again. Fo sho!

"I amerika klarer terroristene å velte to av verdens høyeste tårn, ikke sant. I mens her i Norge klarer vi ikke en gang å velte tjuebussen!"

"In America the terrorists manage to tip over two of the worlds highest towers, you know. But here in Norway we can't even tip over bus number twenty!"
0

Thank you cookiemonster, for being so supportive

*** Syruplicker has changed the chat topic to "Penguins on a vegetable diet" ***
Kingofthewhale234 says: horrible thing
Kingofthewhale234 says: there are absolutely no vegetables that can grow on ice
Kingofthewhale234 says: except iceberg salad, ofc

Syruplicker says: poor penguins
Syruplicker says: I hope they rinse the salad before eating it
Syruplicker says: never know!

Kingofthewhale234 says: yes, the winter-slugs have an extremely thick petticoat
Kingofthewhale234 says: and unless they FLOSS
Kingofthewhale234 says: which penguins very rarely do
Kingofthewhale234 says: -- well
Kingofthewhale234 says: it gets ugly

Syruplicker says: Somebody should get out there and do something
Syruplicker says: It might get out of hand

Kingofthewhale234 says: i think we should create a nationwide organization

Syruplicker says: Yes, let's start with a petition. Should penguins floss?

Kingofthewhale234 says: Penguins Eating Nothing Instead of Seafood

Syruplicker says: I expect an overwhelming victory for the yay-sayers
Syruplicker says: Yes, perfect! Let's make it an acronym so that people can remember it better

Kingofthewhale234 says: yes.
Kingofthewhale234 says: i hear you, man. good idea

Syruplicker says: PENIS. Hm, I sure hope that doesnt mean anything funny in a foreign language

Kingofthewhale234 says: pff. that's not a real word in any language. haha. hmm. Who would use such a funny word for anything?

Syruplicker says: Hehe yeah. Crazy Danish maybe.

Kingofthewhale234 says: well, no worries then!
Kingofthewhale234 says: danish' can't understand any language - least of all their own

Syruplicker says: excellent. we're all safe. May PENIS have many 'members'

Kingofthewhale234says: :D
Kingofthewhale234 says: we should create a website
Kingofthewhale234 says: http://www.please-help-penis.com/

Syruplicker says: Ooh yes, penis goes digital. Smart move. You're all modern and stuff!

Kingofthewhale234 says: you have to go with the youth these days

Syruplicker says: Maybe on the homepage it can say something like - "PENIS is still very small. But it can grow. All we need is your loving care. Please help PENIS. Help it now."

Kingofthewhale234 says: yes!
Kingofthewhale234 says: Join today!

Syruplicker says: we should make badges too

Kingofthewhale234 says: I'm getting the feeling that this can really work

Syruplicker says: or badgers

Kingofthewhale234 says: and help the penguins

Syruplicker says: yes it's a solid plan

Kingofthewhale234 says: yeah, badgers have the same colour as penguins

Syruplicker says: but badgers floss dont they

Kingofthewhale234 says: oooh! major flaw
Kingofthewhale234 says: drawback there

Syruplicker says: and they have their own support group already - BONER. Badgers Of Never Ending Rallies
Syruplicker says: It's a political protest movement I believe

Kingofthewhale234 says: :/
Kingofthewhale234 says: guess we have to stick with the PENIS

Syruplicker says: yeah. start small. work our way up.

Kingofthewhale234 says: yeah, actually. Maybe we should do a stunt
Kingofthewhale234 says: we could - build a massive metal penguin, a skinny one
Kingofthewhale234 says: and erect a monument

Syruplicker says: Clever!

Kingofthewhale234 says: we could spell PENIS along the bottom, and have big banners so people konw what it's about

Syruplicker says: wait - maybe we can make it into a fountain!

Kingofthewhale234 says: yes!
Kingofthewhale234 says: a fountain!
Kingofthewhale234 says: well... maybe that'd be a problem. It's minusdegrees! The water would freeze and the monument would positively explode
Kingofthewhale234 says: so we need people to rub it at all times to make it work

Syruplicker says: ah! and we could use whipped cream or custard instead of water

Kingofthewhale234 says: yeah, because it's about food, right?
Kingofthewhale234 says: the penguins need to be fed

Syruplicker says: exactly. penguins need the protein

Kingofthewhale234 says: protein, that's right.

Syruplicker says: we could launch a special PENIS Provide the Protein Programme

Kingofthewhale234 says: aha! Now we're talking!
Kingofthewhale234 says: and what about all the baby penguins being born into a famished life?

Syruplicker says: poor things
Syruplicker says: you know, I think it's because of all the Seamen.
Syruplicker says: they just don't do anything about it!

Kingofthewhale234 says: yeah, we should provide the penguins with protein, stop the seamen - initiate birth control

Syruplicker says: should we protect the statue with a rubber sheet then? In case of bad weather or angry seamen?

Kingofthewhale234 says: yeah, we should use protection, for the sake of the babies

Syruplicker says: agreed. I like the sound of this
Syruplicker says: this will change penguin lives dramatically
Syruplicker says: already are we being hampered in our efforts - the bastards took me offline!
Syruplicker says: the penguins have many enemies...

Kingofthewhale234 says: it's the seamen, they're angry, and they wont stop coming

Syruplicker says: so many seamen... where do they all come from

Kingofthewhale234 says: yeah

Syruplicker says: guess it's just one of life's mysteries huh

Kingofthewhale234 says: another question.
Kingofthewhale234 says: they're just piling up

Syruplicker says: but we're not backing down, right? are we? there's much protein to be spent... You and me, here and now, we must plant the seeds that will lead to greater things... one day

Kingofthewhale234 says: we'll hafta do it for the penguins
3

New shoes!


They make me tall as a door. But they're delicious.
4

Giorgio Locatelli

2

In a place called heaven

In Norwegian we only have one word that we use for both heaven, and the sky.

So flying through heaven, or soaring across the sky is the same thing. We apply "himmelen" for both. Isn't that weird?


(Today in History: 1964: US Surgeon General condemns cigarettes)
4

SODAP/SODP

KingoftheWhale234 says: oooooooooooh - whhaaaxxxx -- oohhh iiiieeeyyhhhhh!
Syruplicker says: I couldn't agree more
KingoftheWhale234 says: it just had to be said
KingoftheWhale234 says: ever since we spoke last
KingoftheWhale234 says: it's been in the air

Syruplickersays: I'm glad you finally said it
KingoftheWhale234 says: well one of us would have to
Syruplicker says: something had to be done because the tension was just unbearable
KingoftheWhale234 says: i know, it felt like being rubbed between two dinosaurs on a treadmill
KingoftheWhale234 says: but with less perspiration

Syruplicker says: striking metaphore. it's exactly how I feel. and dinosaurs don't brush their teeth
Syruplicker says: something to think about
KingoftheWhale234 says: yeah... That's deep
KingoftheWhale234 says: I mean. You nailed it

Syruplicker says: philosophy is something I've always had a knack for, especially when it comes to dinosaurs
KingoftheWhale234 says: wow, yeah, you have a degree in it?
KingoftheWhale234 says: i know you can do master grade on dinosaur psychology, metaphores and business towels
KingoftheWhale234 says: with a sub-degree on philosophy

Syruplicker says: it came as a course in my Studies in Tension Reducing Conversations of Things that Need to be Said
Syruplicker says: I did consider the dino psychology but I didn't have the work cred
KingoftheWhale234 says: ahh, too bad. But seems like you've got the basics covered anyway, though
KingoftheWhale234 says: I'm impressed by the way, you really did TRCTNS?

Syruplicker says: but how far is a man going to get on the basics? I mean, a couple of small herbivores... maybe... but when it comes to the carnivores, they're gonna go for someone much more qualified
Syruplicker says: yeah I did TRCTNS but it was at SODP and not at SODAP so it's not the same
KingoftheWhale234 says: I heard you had to spend nineteen hours on a banana plane with a spatula up your downstairs mixer and listen to a staged conversation between amateur performing arts students...
KingoftheWhale234 says: aha, alright
KingoftheWhale234 says: what is the difference between those two, anyway? I never really got it...

Syruplicker says: I guess it really boils down to whether you put on your left sock first, or your right one. It's the entrance test, and I just couldn't get it right
KingoftheWhale234 says: naw, bollocks
KingoftheWhale234 says: i put my left sock on first
KingoftheWhale234 says: what's the correct answer?

Syruplicker says: it was a trick question. I should have known the kind of people that frequent TRCTNS generally wear sandals without socks - or have wooden legs
Syruplicker says: Looks like we're both more SODP kind of people. /snub SODAP
KingoftheWhale234 says: :(
KingoftheWhale234 says: well, maybe it just isn't meant to be

Syruplicker says: we mustn't strive to live outside our worldly boundaries... you and I, we were meant for other things. Far beyond the scope of tension reducing conversations
KingoftheWhale234 says: oh, I know!
KingoftheWhale234 says: yoghurt-wrestling
KingoftheWhale234says: chocolate-cheese fondue vodka body-shots

Syruplicker says: yes, yes! excellent! these things embody the true meaning of life!
KingoftheWhale234 says: of OUR life!
Syruplicker says: amen!
4

Stoke on Trent

Today I had a customer which was an elder gentleman. He was purchasing two Wedgwood Edme pasta plates and he was standing with them in his hand, looking a little lost. So, being the good saleswoman* I am: I asked him if he needed any help.

He looked at me and said: "Well unless I wouldn't have to pay for these, I do".

I smiled and said: "I'm sure you could've run away with them without me noticing".

- "If you did notice, would you run after me?" he then asked.

I felt a little confused and replied: "No I probably would've called security".

- "What would I have had to take to make you run after me?".

And I was like, wtf, what kind of question is that? To make sure he didn't think he'd beaten me I said "You would've had to have taken my lunch".

He then made polite remarks about Edme, and asked me if I knew where it was made. And I took a wild shot at Stoke on Trent (which is a district in England, if you didn't already know this. That I already knew as the capital of British porcelain). And I was right, so he was impressed. He then disappeared, and I didn't understand anything.
* salesviking, salesgirl, salesperson, salesmander, salessamueljackson
2

Clean

I'm just so fresh so clean!
4

Midas touch

I was born with a Midas touch,

everything I touch becomes sticky.

Now, it is compulsive for me to have sticky fingers, I always do, - just somehow they end up in the bottom of the bowl of waffle batter, or underneath an icecream, or in a pocket full of sticky old sweets. it's not as if I am in control of what happens, they're suddenly just sticky!

Part guilty in this must be the fact that I am a little sister, and any decent younger sister with any self-respect has proper, fat and very sticky little fingers. In fact - it's all that's written in the work description, and is also the only requirement!

There are several "nice", or "remotely nice" little sisters, - but they all have sticky fingers! Still! They could be nice, but they would still be sticky, oh yes sir, oh yes you fuzzy little man-peach.

Well, my point; a wise man once said:
"I have a Midas Touch, everything I get near becomes shit".

And while this quite basically cover it, it is not entirely true - is it? I mean Gandalf, or Dumbledore, or Patrick Swayze, or whatever wise man might have said this, how can substances simply transform into excrements on mere contact with human skin?

I think that sounds rather ridiculous, it is like they have missed out on the entire point of the Midas Touch. Hello000Ooo! Gandalf! It is supposed to be a metaphor, not some kind of sick inside wizard-joke for you and Dumbledore to giggle at. Because even though you are exceptional wizards, it just doesn't make any sense that you would use your magic to transform random items into shit.

... And - just out of curiosity - what kind of shit is it? Like, kangaroo, or---

No! No! My point is, Pat-rick Swayze: -- That the whole point of using a reference like this one, for King Midas is to show that you are sophisticated enough to be familiar with Greek Mythology. So the least thing one can do, is in combination with such a reference - is to show a little decency. I think anything more silly than sticky should be incompatible with Midas' touch. Because any word that is more wrong than the word I used isn't decent.

Everybody's abusing it.

Pff. Patrick Swayze. You silly silly boy.

Maid in Buttermilk III

Part I
Part II


It was a cool afternoon and that felt nice after such a warm and sunny day. They had moved into the parlour, which was bathing in the relaxing flickers of the ruby embers in the fireplace. The Lord of Buttermilk was smoking his pipe and was wearing his most comfortable slippers, every now and then he sneezed and threw a few random belongings in to the fire. His friend, Sir Jarvis Diggory Clarcy of Pea was sitting next to him and helping Giles sort out assorted items into two piles; one for keeping and one for burning.

Obviously it was both very very complicated and exhausting, there were so many items worth keeping, like treasure maps, biscuits, tree elephants, books, umbrellas, bent encyclopedias, stools, socks with feathers on them, light bulbs, sausages, panties, curtains, mouldy boxes with copper treasures and strange carved items from distant corners of the world. There were also seeds for unknown plants, sheets, tin tubes, small car models, photographs, tea warmers, markers, filt pens, rusted nails, some strange pumping mechanism, glass frames, old paintings and hand knitted mittens. In all this mess there was also a million other things, and resting on the bookshelf there was a heap of more scrap just waiting to have an avalanche and possibly put the end to them all.

The atmosphere was one of a concentrated tension, the exact kind which is created by the male ability to focus on one task with every cell in their immensed body. In the flickering light the only break of the quiet was the irregular "poofs" from the fireplace, and the fervent nostrils of the three, pulsating noisily like the lungs of a terrified rodent. Eyes remained rapt on the task at hand, sometimes with an overpowered critical stare, other times with a look of nostalgic recollection of something long gone.

It was obvious that the three devoted men were prepared for both nights and days of hard work throughout July to get the house cleared out for the arrival of Lady Plethora Clarcy of Pea.


Giles had married a plump german creature during the spring, a woman Lord Buttermilk named "The Thing" in his mind, but galantly called "Mrs. Giles" whenever Giles was around. She was small, pink and stumpy, with every attribute of a pig - but was made human through her rubber boots and the flowery outfits she wore. Most of the time she wore swimsuits, and unnecessary to say this was not the most flattering choice for a woman her shape and size. It was also quite strange to be walking around town in a swimsuit, even in Buttermilk.

This flowery and also revealing sense of style radically enhanced her nickname "The Thing" further. Either way, her real name was however not "The Thing" her real name was Gretchen Ödschönlind Haudenschild-Krähenbühl Niederbippftz, which was another name that Lord Buttermilk found to be extremely tongue-twisting. Giles called her "Gibbly-nibbly", something Lord Buttermilk thought was way easier to say, but unfortunately it was indecent for her husbands employer to call her by that. So her name in his house was "The Thi-Mrs. Giles" correcting himself midway almost every time.

The Thing made a wonderful cook, she could cook the wheels of bikes, or even tobacco and make it taste just like the sweetest chocolate pudding. Lord Buttermilk had every intention of hiring her, but he knew that she - like most germans, was a complete soup-nazi that would insist on having it sterile around her at all times. attributes his home had not had since he moved in, basically. So until they had cleaned out (at least the kitchen) this was an impossibility that bothered him at night.
0

Silent Sigh - Badly Drawn Boy

This is one of those music videos I have been thinking back on with horror. It's got 14 out of 9 on the sadness scale, and any female closely related to me is highly advised to keep clear of the visuals. Horribly sad stuff, but the song is very sweet. And anyone who likes equals of Keane is likely to love it. I know it's old, but it has to be in my blog. Right?
4

What happened on tuesday



As I came running like a rocket, like a peanutbutter-fuelled spinster, this small midget character stops me in the very middle of my stride, and looks at me.

And he nods all midgety and cheesy at me, and I don't know what to say.

He inspects me with his tiny little guinea pig eyes, and then go:
"Come on, you brassy shrew, get in my hamper."

It had been quite a long time since I was ordered into a hamper, must've been yonks:

so I need a moment to think, and I say to him:
"Easy now, linty little man-cherry".

But as I wait I realize that he has the face of a toffee-licked bickie, and in the end his greasy tache makes my knees go weak.

And I stumble over the little midget, and he screams and waves with his stumpy little arms while he flail his short feet.

But it was too late, I could feel him get squeezed down into the asphalt like an outchewed piece of gum, and I am too confused to do anything about it.

When I finally get up, he looks like a small, purple poptart. All curdly and crumbly, like he was never moist at all.

That is when I remember: Oh! The lobsters! And I rush off towards the mountains again.

0

Conversation online during Written New Norwegian test

Soapbubble says: ok, tar bort
Frogman says: jeg veti kkee1'1!!
Frogman says: riike ta det bort!!!
Frogman says: ja, tora, fin rettskrivning.
Frogman says: det hadde vært lol å levere denne samtalen sammen med oppgaven, står jo bare "Karna er dust" overalt
Soapbubble says: hehe
Frogman says: karna er dust!!
Frogman says: ahahahah1!!
Soapbubble says: nå har jeg tatt det bort, og har vondt i hode
Frogman says: ja, da tar vi pause.
Frogman says: jeg ER så mett
Frogman says: vi burde levere snart eller?
Soapbubble says: ja
Soapbubble says: levere

Translation:

Soapbubble says: ok, removing it
Frogman says: Idon't knoww1'1!!
Frogman says: dooont remove it!!!
Frogman says: yes, frogman, nice spelling.
Frogman says: would've been lol to hand this conversation in together with the assignment, says "Teacher is an idiot" all over
Soapbubble says: hehe
Frogman says: teacher is an idiot!
Frogman says: ahahahah1!!
Soapbubble says: now I have removed it, and my head aches
Frogman says: yep, then we'll take a break.
Frogman says: I AM so full.
Frogman says: we should hand it in soon, or?
Soapbubble says: yes
Soapbubble says: hand in

Blogthings :D

You Are 48% Lady

You're part lady, part modern woman.
Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly.
You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.
2

Attention dogs


0

Music for the masses

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Mumm-ra - She's got you High

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us The Pigeon Detectives - I'm not Sorry

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us The View - Face for the Radio

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Eight Legs - Tell me what went wrong

Aaaah I'm bleeding from my face!

This morning, on my way to school - or, on my way out of my room, through the attic. I came near this steel beam that was leaned up against the chimney. And I didn't realize what it was, so I turned around to face it, and then it fell on my forehead.

And I didn't have time to be wounded, so I moved that ruddy beam to prevent it from ever smacking me in the face again, but as I was climbing down the ladder I felt a stream of something heavy drizzling down my face.

Oh... And I looked in the mirror, and it looked like a horror-movie, and I thought: Maybe I should take a picture? But my camera was not nearby, and I guess the idea in itself was kind of morbid.

So I had to run to the bathroom and wash my face, and then plaster it up quickly, as I had to get my ass to school.

The good thing is that I have this cut in my forhead, and people have quite some respect for wounds in the face, so if I get tired of my schmonkingly dull media-teacher (with the gruesome, brain scraping accent) I will tell her I am in pain, and I will go home. I should've just stayed home, I guess. But here I am!

So, you want me to teach you about criminology, love?


Yours, Slush-brain
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A new blog layout?

I might be changing the looks around the place, again. Any strong opinions? Doesn't really matter, I know, but I take this very seriously!




Any favourites?
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My friend Colin

Well seeing you all got a friend named Colin, I want to introduce you to my friend named Colin:

Colin plays in a punk-electronica-alternative-indie-brit-rock-pop-dance band called "Colin and the Pioneers".

Recently, Colin is working very hard on growing a tache.

We sometimes talk about eggs, and he makes a funny face.
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Chronic Wrapping Syndrome (CWS)

What do you know? It's easy to catch something nasty at this time of year, might be anything. A little pest, some flu, a hat, a cold, something that might kill you, you never know. You go out without a scarf, in two hours you'll be dead. But what you do know, however is that this time of year the more dramatic cases of CWS (Donum Obvolvo Gravatus) Syndrome is discovered among the population. And, for all you may be aware of - perhaps you've caught it.

Chronic Wrapping Syndrome is an obsessive compulsive disorder not at all to be mistaken for all the other similar acronyms:
Canadian Wildlife Service, Crackle Whoop and Snap, Church World Service, The Coil Winding Specialist, Critical Wank Symphony, Coupling Wave Solutions, Corc Worship Saturday, College World Series, Crocodile Whiff Slough, Chicago White Sox, Cappucino Wig Seals, Chirping Whiz Slomp, Cirque Wiener Soleil, Chocolate Whomp Sleigh or Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary.

The most likely ones to suffer from CWS syndrome are people working in service branches, though normally it is said that women in general are exposed the highest. The spread of the syndrome, however is disaccordingly to the urban legend totally sporadic; you and I are equally as likely to catch it.

CWS is strongly related to holidays and major celebrations, Christmas is obviously the worst of them all, which is the reason why during January hundreds and thousands of people are diagnosed with the above. The symptoms are usually the powerful urge for wrapping everything up, by that, meaning wrapping up in every possible meaning of "wrapping up".

Examples:

  • Wrapping up the truth, lying constantly
  • Wrapping up in too much clothes
  • Wrapping up food and storing it for later
  • Wrapping up work, finishing it before deadline
  • Wrapping up people - meaning you get over their death, sometimes before they die.
  • Wrapping up and then down
  • Wrapping up and accepting certain events, often misinterprated for being a pushover.

The only cure is to smoke or to squeeze hard a frog that you don't like. If you lose a frog the condition can get worse, and you then have to smoke or squeeze two frogs, that you don't like.


Oh, and you should check out this English to Norwegian Dictionary

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mop!

That does feel right nice and clean. Nothing like having a nice and straight blog again.

Are you alright? You don't look too well. Have you had any of that odd-moss, belly shrimp? You know you are not supposed to eat those, they are for entertainment only, you know.

I think I'm bursting with creative energy - I could make a film, or take two thousand photos, and I've already written a fair bit and drawn a big drawing and taped all my other drawings to the walls and the ceiling. It's as if I'm having some kind of an overload and it's mightily difficult to handle. I even burnt a new CD with The Wombats, and all kinds of other stuff. Don't know where to start, maybe I should just go to bed and see if I'll wake up the same way I fall asleep.

Actually I don't know anyone who does that. Well sometimes my sister wake up drunk, but then she usually haven't slept for very long. Maybe I should write down all the things I did in 2007! Yeah!

No.

That's a horrible idea, I'd rather die of the squats than having to realize that I haven't really done anything during the past 12 months of my life. Well. During 2007 I went to some kickass concerts and then I went abroad - yeah, but a part from that there's actually not much to write about.

It's nearly due for me to decide what school I'm going to, like college or university, that kind of a decision. Haven't even decided what country I want to study in. What should I educate myself as? Maybe I'll be a fireman, or in the police, maybe I'll be an author, or a cake. Difficult, yeah, maybe I'll be glowing like neon and bake fantastic cakes, listen to amazing electronica and eat things that glitter while wearing big, soft dresses and drawing big paintings of fun things. That's what I want to do, what kind of career is that? Does anyone know? Do you know?

Do you mind?

I'm trying to have a conversati.. a monosation - are you not listening?

2008 Hot Trends

You are as usual missing out on fashion, and the fact that a new year full of bimbling opportunities await you - it, it simply does not seem inspiring. First off, you couldn't possibly bother typing out the word 'fashion' or 'trends' on your smelly keyboard - or read magazines, or bother looking around and see what 'cha can get out of what everyone else is wearing. Second, well, you haven't before. So why now?

I'm going to tell you why. Because my list of the most überdelicious, spankingly gorgeous trends has NOTHING to do with what everyone else think is fashion. You put your hat on your bling and dangle your chimney from your ears - that is fashion. It's got nothing to do with what actually looks, tastes, feels or smells good. The 80's are a great example of just that.

Give it a go, c'mon, you know it makes sense. You can wear a tent wrapped under your armpits, and still look absolutely breathtaking. All you got to do is straighten out your posture and walk with confidence. They're all going to think you're king of the mods.

This year you'll give trends a shot!
Here is my fabulous, updated list of what's hot - and what's not, for 2008!

HOT:
1. Pale skin, go for a sexy ghost-look, a beautiful milky-blue complexion is this seasons ideal - If you ain't white, it ain't right!
2. Squids - either if it's squid shoes, a squid bag, or squid chopped in to your sushi, squids are a top must have for every occasion!
3. Yuzo flavoured Lakerol - the golden little tooth accessorie to go with anything!
4. Glitter, sparkles, silver, gold, bling bling and conflictless diamonds! Bring in the chandeliers!
5. Litchi fruit, the grape-like fruits are schlooptastic for salads, desserts and also does excellent as the perfect makeshift evening gown.
6. Glasses - frame your eyes with a pair of lele-llllicious eye-goggles!
7. Smurfit! Take your sock and smurf-it!
8. YuzoPumpsBongoSatan is officially the hottest band. If you haven't heard their underground club-slammer "Yuzo" - Well, you have plans this weekend. This is the most wanted band for gigs in 2008, and their heavily anticipated album "Split, Total Hit" was released January 1st.
9. "The Mighty Boosh". You will love it, I will make you love it.
10. Combs. Cave-look or princess-look are both perfect, just go all the way.
11. New Rave reflective-clothing colours. Think post-it notes, but add some glitter and some flair.

NOT:
1. A tacky, brown, pornstar tan. - Orange is out! By all means avoid the sun, the solarium, self-tanning, brown make-up foundation or any other colourings! Au naturale with some white compact powder finish is perfect.
2. Organic food - if everyone eat organic food, it wont be enough food for our planet. This season is all about being considerate! Throw in a bit of additives.
3. "Trendy" workout-outfits - and all kinds of running. You don't want to be caught dead running this upcoming season. And especially not in a matching outfit.
4. "Trend"-blogs. Don't read them, it's all lies.
5. Ringtones and all other fancy downloads for your mobile phone is a no-no-no NO!
6. Facebook, of course. (Was never hot in the first place, obviously).
7. Nylon and fake textiles are fashion disaster, never ever even consider show yourself under the sun wearing nylon. You'd be lynched!
8. Mispronounciation of "espresso" (expresso) is considered social suicide.
9. Cigarettes. Smoking will discolour your stunning milky white complexion. Eeew!
10. Moustaches, beards and sundried tomatoes.
11. Cars are a definite trend-killer, walking, strolling or riding your bike is the perfect booster for 2008.
Full size.
If you have your visual spam-filter on, have a hangover, or you simply just hate reading those schmockingly long texts I vomit out on your screen, I promise I'll give you what's HOT and NOT in pictures as soon as I'm done turning off my own filter and slept the pain away.

Kisses.
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And - a happy new year...!!

You been calling the moose in the white telephone all day, have you?

Well I haven't, even though I've been restraining myself so much to avoid it - that in the end I got stuck with the exact same feeling anyway. I'm still covered with chizzels, and I still feel like my body's filled up with washing-up water.

Goodness me. What a way to start 2008? I don't know what's wrong with us.
Today, the very first, blank page of a new year I have watched season one and two of The Mighty Boosh - which I thought was absolutely worth my time, and also comfortably creative, so I didn't go braindead from the .. oh ...I'm trying to think of the word, but somehow my fingers remain clutching the sad remnants of yesterdays curls - and then my headbrain made a soft, kind of empty 'schlop'... and honestly now I don't know what's happened.

Exhaustion maybe, maybe that's a word that could do the trick. Or a shower, maybe. Too.
I'm going to clear this place up after christmas, with a broom, so it wont look as much as a cramped shop you might suspect of selling 'kebab meat' from the 'secret' counter of 'unsuspicious-stash'.

All these long words.
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