April - NABOF Month

April will be my NABOF month. Not Actually Blogging On Food month.

I have done some excessive research on my head. Which didn't honestly take a lot of time. But my conclusion is that I need to take my mind of things like that. I will attempt -- to for an entire month -- not blog about food. I might keep a post I will fill with my thoughts on food for later, but I will try not to. I mean, it's too much of an obsession, and I'm doubting that it's very interesting.

Actually speaking of danes I had to rescue a dane the other day, she had a horrible fall on her skiis and lost one of them. She kept rolling down the slope, so I had to do hit the brakes on my board and pick her ski up. Then when she'd stopped rolling I gave it back to her and helped her up. I don't think she understood me, our languages are slipping apart like a poorly stirred hollandaise. But either way she seemed grateful. Those danes have no business up in our mountains, the mountains are too dangerous for them! They should return to their levelled homeland and ride their bike to the bakery and have some pastry and beer. That's what I think they should do.
6

The boys are cooking

Alright, for once I'm actually kicking back and watching my brothers cook. I only just remembered why I never do it.

It's actually hopeless entertainment. They pick up everything and then put it back down - and only this very moment my older brother spent time just to see if he could attach a regular knife into the potato peeler.

Sights like this is enough to drive you insane, I actually have to tell them to stop throwing all the cheese to the rottweiller and attempt to add it to the food instead!

And of all complicated things, they're making nacho supreme.

SKJALG! STOP THROWING THE TENNISRACKET ABOUT! GET BACK TO THE AVOCADOES!

We'll be needing a drink, they've started to cut things, with knives.

Edit:
I just opened the fridge and I went "raaaaaaaarrrghhh".
My little brother looked up at me, and said: "Tora. Is this something I should be worried about?"
0

Pepper Desert

The truth was that the business of tourism fashionetta was one of a slow nature. It was only as much of postcards and trolls a planet could rightfully need, or handle for that sake. Falling back into old habits was also a little bit too tempting after living on wax baguettes for the past two weeks in a row. They were also getting increasingly low on rum.

It was a very simple plan, but it was also a very good one – this because it had been made by none other than capt’n Seabeard, and he had an impressive moustache as well. A plan of this calibre had to be split into three stages and be simplified as much as possible so that every crew member could understand it. Even young Cross-eyed Jimmy with the asparagus cauldron over his head.

Firstly the most crooked crew of YARRHR (Yellow Association for Retired and Rehabilitated sea Hulks, sailors, Rebels and pirates) would have to attack random moose trams throughout the Pepper Desert. Secondly they would have to scare the passengers to bits to make sure they regained their once extremely fierce reputation. Then third, start hosting events such as guided tours “Desert Extreme Safari” and pirate spotting throughout the desert, both in the amaretto ponds and all along the sandbanks. This would without doubt not just increase the sale of postcards and sandtrolls, but it would also open up for new possibilities in the tourist fashionetta business. Printed t-shirts, miniature trams, little pirate action figures that you could yank in the arm and they’d go “Yaaaarrgh!” In other words, this was a desirable future.

This was the first of the attacks they’d planned for the day, and it was such a disappointment that their trusted ship, Lady Catherine, or their crew (for that sake), wasn’t having a good day. Sailing over the foaming peaks of Pepper Desert was a past profession that had somehow gotten a little lost over the years with penthouse parties, young models, and excessive rum abuse. The retired and rehabilitated pirates had simply forgotten how to steer their ship and had been forced to rent a moose to drag it through the dunes. Sadly, this made them about half as terrifying and kind of ruined the whole point.

From inside the blue tram they could hear aggravated barking, but it got fainter and fainter until the tram disappeared over the horizon. They obviously had to think of something different. They were also getting a little vain, if only they hadn’t fought over the mirror – maybe they could have intercepted the tram in time.

Chairlift - At My Side


I don't know about you. But I have never heard of Chairlift before. This song is very beautiful though, I hope they become huge and can share their awesome jingly, feel good, fun spirit to the planet! It's like Oliver North Boy Choir, or Thomas Dybdahl ft. Feist - but all with a bit of naive, kind of young touch! All comparison meant as a compliment to every part. Watch and listen!
2

Pepper Desert

It was horribly early in the morning and the other girls had warned her to stay clear of any local crooks, it was said that they could dismantle your ears fairly easily if you didn’t do as they wanted to. She was used to that sort of thing and pulled a hat down over her face before boarding the tram, just in case someone’d have a jab at her ears.

The sweaty businessman had suddenly deflated and fallen asleep as he finally got on board, so the only creatures awake on the tram were her and a snail on the floor, closely examining a giant truffle. It was a funky snail, it had DVNO printed in gold on its back, and was humming an electronic tune. And there was a dog, with a squint.

The sun was still very red and was still colouring the entire sky in a kind of pink fashion. It was nice and warm inside the tram, there was no chauffeur – it was one of the resources that had been cut back on after the launching of the Pepper-moose Expressway Tram Services. The moose then steered the trams through the hot vastness of the desert all by themselves, they knew every grain of pepper, and every oasis – and every refreshing pond of amaretto.

The Pepper desert had many names whom which it was impossible to know the official one. Casually it was usually just named “The Pepper Desert”, to make it as simple as possible, because there was just one pepper desert.

The desert looked like a large dark stain on maps, so the old hairplane pilots referred to it as “The Coffee Splash”, the shepherds named it “The Grand Sneeze” while as the dyslexics in the want of their own name for it, called it “The Splash of Sneeze”. Either way, it had become extremely famous in the countries abroad, thousands of pepper desert postcards were printed each year by the Yellow Association for Retired and Rehabilitated sea Hulks, sailors, Rebels and pirates (YARRHR), a grand manufacturer and distributor of tourism fashionetta. Obviously no one ever came to visit the desert, it was large and hot and boring, and it made you sneeze a lot. A fitting description that also meant you weren’t likely to come visit. But it looked good on postcards, at least.

All of a sudden the squinting dog had barked furiously out the window, it was now standing on its back paws and squinting towards the rising sun. What was going on? She made sure her ears were kept safe underneath her hat.

Pepper Desert

Alongside the platform ran a white line – like someone had wanted to leave a mark, but had been carried away, drawn a line along the whole thing and before they knew it forgotten why they were even there and left. Because there were no lines anywhere else on the platform, just right there, by the edge.

A platform of this calibre was considered quite uncommon – though obviously, it did occur at times, like here for example. It was the entrance to the station known as Bronze Hairpyn, a delicate little bronze oasis set in the middle of the vast pepper desert. The Pepper-moose Expressway Tram Services had several stops in the pepper desert, this because moose have a distinct sense of smell that make them unable to sneeze – even when surrounded by entire oceans of pepper, and of course that people needed to get to places.

Moose have never been considered an ideal ingredient in transport, not even the Vikings rode them even in their time, because they have antlers and hunchbacks and they don’t know how to count, unlike horses, who can. But desperate times had called for desperate measures, even as desperate as these – when the cities of Alphybette and Slingalongtong had become important destinations for trade and tourism, seal clubbing and other hobby featuretta, a transport system across the desert had been essential.

“FFfzzzttt …. ---krrxxxzt-- … tzzap-kkrz- Tram number fourtheeen to Alphybetteh is noow –fzzt- approaching the plathform –xtzap— soh pleaseh stand back frohm ‘fzzzhh- white secyrity line –fzz- thank youuh”. A voice announced loudly and unprofessionally.

Bronze Hairpyn had once been an important pit stop for the giant haircrafts that delivered important goods and mail way cross the vastness of the country. This industry had more or less been taken over by the moose-trams, the trained moose pulling old, blue trams transversely over the pepper. But even so a few of the elder haircraft companies still remained and allowed passengers to transfer between a hairborne haircraft and a moose-tram depending on their final destination.

There were only two people waiting for the moose-tram today, they had come by Ryanhair from Buenos Haires and had now both taken a step back, to make sure they didn't cross the white line. One of them was a sweaty businessman from Spawnhog, he had a curly beard and a busy face and lots of other things, but I wont tell you seeing it really isn't important. The other passenger was a girl with the largest behind you have ever seen, she wasn't even wearing a lot of clothes.
2

Hello from Rob



Maybe not Rob!

But I've had a Leet amount of visitors in my blog!
0

Electronica Snails

It must be so strange to be a snail. They get to stay home all day, yet they travel a lot. Kind of quirky. there are snails without their homes on their back too, they probably find the world something new. Like slugs. They are slimey and slippery so they never get to learn how to tapdance or how to knit, and they can't wear hats either, not without putting holes in them for their eyes. Imagine what snails think about, I imagine they are very sophisticated and maybe a little caught up in electronica. They just listen to it over and over. Hmm... and I think all snails love listening to MGMT as well, I just know they do. It's like I get that feeling when I watch them, oh and - I've heard it, this other day when I was snowboarding, I fell on my face and slid down into a snowless hole surrounding a tree.

Underneath the lower pine branches, smelling of bark and soil and frosted cones I heard "Kids" playing from somewhere down by the roots. Snails are actually very funky creatures, the snail I managed to get a glimpse of had DVNO printed in gold across its back. It was totally mint. Two snails were having a fight some way further down in the hard ground, the guy kept saying "We've come a long long way together, Through the hard times and the good, I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like I should" but she was all "Television rules the nation". And that was that.

Maybe they should've gone back together, but he kept checking her blue magnetic monkey out- even though he knew she wasn't in to that "what else is there?" type of thing! So maybe not. Kind of made me doubt the whole sophisticated bit. As I was considering this a couple of snails were painted like clowns and getting down. Maybe I should just stop being human and take part in this snail nation, even though I'll miss you, I'm sure it'd be alright! You could come visit! Don't let the man get you down!
2

Top Ten Men I'd Marry in a Heartbeat

You have no idea how long it takes to compile a list like this. I think you should do the same, it's interesting. They don't have to be men, you are allowed to marry women as well- but that's perfectly up to you. Number 10 is spare at the moment, sure I'll think of someone. Making lists is healthy, good for you.

1. Tom Chaplin (Keane)


2. Johnny Depp


3. Matthew Macfadyen


4. Andrew vanWyngarden (MGMT - Management)



5. Noel Fielding (The Mighty Boosh, comedy series)


6. Lee Pace (Pushing Daisies, NBC series)


7. Luke Pritchard (The Kooks)


8. Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys)


9. Julian Rhind Tutt (Green Wing, comedy series)


10.
0

MGMT - Electric Feel


Crikey, I absolutely just love this song to bits!

It's supermint! MGMT (Management) is pure genius, genius! Er. And I kind of love the lad with the curls as well. He's gorgeous. What you should do, is to check this out.
2

Buffet

The problem with buffets is usually that in my head they are not interpret as "Eat what you want", to me they generally mean "Eat all you can". Obviously, the outcome of this are two entirely different things. Separated by a lot of pain. Something I wish to emphasise.

I am starting to question whether it is normal to either be hungry or uncomfortably full? I am always either, and I never seem to be "comfortably full". Is there a secret the rest of the world have been led in on, but I have been denied?

It's such lovely weather here now, such a breeze. Sunny and very spring-time ish. And what better news are, it seems I will have you all spared of posting anymore recipes in my blog, because Foss has let me in on another wonderful website I am already enjoying a lot. It's called http://www.forkd.com/, my profile can be found at http://forkd.com/user/Tora . If you're interested >.>

So far I haven't added many recipes. But we'll see about that!

All my siblings are back home for easter, don't know what to make of that. They make a racket and I'm hiding in the attic :(
3

Top Ten My Favourite Relatives

1. Cleo


2. Liv-Elin


3. Smylexx


4. Krtek


5. Optimus Prime


6. Lille My


7. Vince Noir


8. Yoda


9. Pikachu


10. Ernie
3

Top Ten Fabulous Tellybox Shows

1. Black Books


2. Green Wing


3. Mighty Boosh


4. Red Dwarf


5. South Park


6. Coupling


7. That 70’s Show


8. Nigella’s Kitchen


9. James Martin Sweet


10. Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares


2

It could happen to you--


4

Smile! SMILE!

I built a tower of coins!

This weekend's been blinking and great. I feel okay now, at least. We had tons of raclette on saturday, so during the night when I watched my cousin and brother play Super Mario Galaxy, I felt like a bloated taxidermy victim. At the most I walked around the kitchen in small, gentle, therepautic circles in an attempt to digest all that cheese. Gods.

At work on thursday my personal strategy was to be sure that every single customer I served left with a smile on their face. This because it's such a delight to make people smile and it seems everyone needs a bit cheering up these days. Whatever floats my boat, right? At least it makes the time pass - and we are not nice enough to each other in Norway, everyone is too busy looking at their own shoelaces to notice that there's other norwegians around. Horrible, it's like we totally failed on communication.

At least by the end of the day I was in such a great mood that it became irreversably contageous. It's a tough task trying to make people smile without being bothersome, you know. To safe it on the rougher ones, I talked about the weather. I love talking about the weather, didn't seem at all fake, no problem at all. One customer was in my shop for almost an hour just discussing cutlery with me, I don't think I've been that nice to a person in a very long time. She did buy cutlery for 3000,- kroners though, which wasn't my scheme really, just tried desperately to make her smile!

I made roasted chicken with pancetta and spring leek served with yorkshire pudding and a tomato/avodaco salad on friday. Best yorkshire pudding I've ever had, the only one I've ever had to be honest, so to be fair, not many to compare it with! It was Gordon Ramsay's recipe, delicious! Yeah, and I thought it was about time I made BBC Food a tag of its own. Mahaha!

Springy winter

I have heard several foreigners comment on the ridiculous beahviour of Norwegians many times. Some have been about alcohol, some have been about food, some have been about economy - and lots on tits. The most interesting, though have to be about our passionate relation to climate. Just a few weeks ago it was warm, mild and sunny, and getting ever so cheerful around here. People ran out of their house and tore their clothes off while embracing the day with such delightful energy. Just yesterday it started snowing, but everyone seemed caught up in keeping their warm clothes off.

It happens every year, you know. The weather is suddenly amazing, and then - next minute it's snowing! And bloody freezing as well. However, all the little children and the babies remain wrapped in their inconcievably thick layer of wool and plastic while tossing about on the frozen ground, munching snails while going "whablagabalagh!" Because they are always the last ones to be refused their scarves and mittens.

All us others will then probably (like last year) go out wearing close to nothing and get the flu for the second time. That's because we did the same thing during autumn - when we were still prancing around in bikini bottoms, wading through the crispy snow.

You obviously think we are stupid. But I'd beg to differ there, I think this is all in all a sweet and positive, though naive taking on the world. Change of season brings such delight to us, it's like sunlight in Bergen, or rain in the kalahari. Forecast says it will snow throughout the weekend, while as I plan on wearing a light summer dress.
2

I would just really like a serious chocolate fix

I made a delicious Vanilla Castle Pudding for dessert on Sunday, one of James Martin's recipes. it was golden, sweet, soft and delicious, served with a frozen raspberry sauce. Fan-tastic.
Only moments ago I watched Nigella Lawson bask in the luciousness of towers of chocolate brownies and chocolate cheesecake, made me crave to eat my own weight in just chocolate. Right now I am considering to make something really divine out of chocolate, while I know that I'm probably going to read, re-read, re-read and re-read (while revising) my flippin novel. It's taking aaages I tell you. It is getting somewhere though, still about a chapter and a half missing - but it's getting there, and I've removed a few excess characters as well. Pretty crude actually. Got sick of rewriting and rephrasing myself - so felt a little drastic.

Also I have got my phone again, which is a deeeeeelight! I keep forgetting I have it though, so I never get to answer it. But it's growing on me. Elin's even had it properly pimped with some glitter bling and a small pink duck with a bell inside of it. Looks like a bhangra taxi. Brilliant.

Terribly cold in Oslo again, the weather is just dreadful - sunny, but freezing still, and windy as well. Obviously, this is something that brings extra delight to just sitting in and be cozy. Hmm. With some chocolate- oooh!
4

Chub

I'm starting to wonder if there's a connection between being chubby and having an undying love for food. The time I don't watch BBC Food, work or attend classes at school, looking up definitions for words like "follicles" and "rainbow trout" on the internet - I eat. Mostly.

And also I'm starting to wonder if children of divorced parents are more likely to become fat than other children. Like today I got so carried away I had a double set of dinner and dessert!


Crikey!


In other news, hmm. There are very little news!
Back to Top