Showing posts with label I might possibly be mad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I might possibly be mad. Show all posts

Tuesday might be your special day

Among a few of today's accomplishments have been - but not limited to:

Making a cup of tea that was about 50 times too strong.
Making a breakfast smoothie so viscous it almost had to be cleaved into smaller pieces
Proceeding to drink both those things.
Deciding to make brioche one of these days, because the mere thought of it makes me smile
Having lip gloss on.
Wearing my hair away from my face (!) I'll be honest, I want to be like Olivia Dunham. She is beautiful.
Feel life slowly drain out of me.
Considering a career as a psychic or a medium or something
Perhaps I should write horoscopes?
Think that at least it would be nice if I could do magic

I sincerely hope your day was at least marginally more exciting and/or more productive than mine. And that you have so much love in your life any minute now you may burst. Not in a horrible way, in a metaphorical way, so bursting might take the shape of buying a random stranger some chocolate (pick me!) or sharing joy, love or fun otherwise with the people around you. I also hope we learn to be grateful for those things that keep us going. Like butter, having shoes, sleep, love and Minecraft.

6

Tummy diet


Ok, so this is very weird, I know. But it is weirding me out, too (MORE than it will you) and I just need to vent it a little bit.

Because I went to the doctor because of my achy stomach, and he took a lot of tests, and will take some more next week - so until then I am on a restrictive diet.

Okay, I get it. A billion people are on a strict diet every day - but I'm not! I've never had to think much about what I eat at all, as long as it's not hairy in places it's not meant to be hairy. Hell I even eat from the ground. But I'll tell you something, it's not at all bad this diet, it is just the principle of having to check ingredients and having to mentally prepare ahead for every meal that freaks me out. The doctor also recommended that I eat small meals, but often, grazing, if you like.

And that's fine, yeah.

YES
NO
Lots of fibre (with every meal)
Red meat
Pork
Liver, Kidney
Chicken
Dark fish (salmon, tuna, mackerel)
White fish (cod, flounder, halibut)
Cauliflower
Cooked vegetables
Horseradish

Raw tomato
A LITTLE
Radishes
Uncooked fruit and vegetables
Melon
Dairy
Banana
Cooked meat in sandwiches
Soybeans

Alcohol

But I can't have banana!! Or melon! And I JUST bought a lot of golden bananas and a perfectly sweet melon, and some lush tomatoes. Well done.

In other news from a grown person getting totally freaked out because she can't eat bananas - I'm wondering why my neighbour is up at eight in the morning to watch the tellybox. M, there we go, just to have a fairly gay smoke out the window in his wifebeater. I get it.

I can really start to see how living in these apartments awake a primal need for slandering. I'm the worst of them. The pair across the street even got full-covering blinds eventually, I thought I looked quite inconspicuous hiding behind my curtains and scrutinizing their odd Disney-fondling (I don't know how they do it!) or their strangely romantic way of cooking together. I call them the Disney couple. There's not a lot of action going on at my wall-to-wall neighbours, especially since I can't peek through their windows without climbing the façade.

Lot to do lately? Yes, seriously. All the prepping for our Bachelor is going to wring me into a sock. I don't know how, but soon you will meet me on the street and you'll say "Tora, what has happened? You look like a sock" and I'll say -"Yes" and look at my foot, my one big foot protruding from my neck, and add "it sucks".
0

Bla bla bla

In Norwegian we can say "to talk with" and "to talk to", which is nice because these are two completely different things I think. Dialogue and monologue. And I love to talk with people. And talking, I like a lot in general. And sometimes, to such an extent that I talk to them, because I've got so much to say while they don't. And I hate it when it happens, it is just that most of the time I don't even notice it! And it's been like that for as long as I can remember, probably since I learned to speak. I talk all the time I do, even in my sleep. If someone can talk a hole in your head, it is probably me.

But all this talking doesn't make me happy unless I have someone to talk with, - and talking to myself doesn't really cut it. Nothing makes my heart swell like a good conversation, swell like a rum soaked raisin, until plump and sweet. It's true. So if I get the chance, I'd rather hear you talk than doing something else.

I know a lot of people who need to be warmed up before they can start talking. Some of the shy ones just wont shut up if you just get them started. While some are like me, the most outgoing that talks to strangers and pretty much everyone, but becomes a clam* once truly comfortable with someone.

But it doesn't surprise me that a lot of people get scared when I go quiet. I probably would, too. It would be like a frenzying cat suddenly going limp. Those who know me well know that I like to be quiet and enjoy silence, look at the weather through the glass and maybe count the leaves. So I guess this post doesn't make much sense in a way. My voice has two gears-- park, or drive - doing 120 in the wrong direction with a smile.

* Clams are nice, they only open their mouth to eat.

Do you talk to strangers? Did something funny ever happen when you did?
3

Weirdos and Children

A strange man with a walrus mustache (it really made him look like a walrus!) was peeking into the shop today, while talking to himself. This side of town surely has its rich selection of originals, I must say. There's the one-legged guy playing fetch with his invisible dog, the hairy one who sits in the park and drinks beer, the one with the glasses taking the bus back and forth all day, drinking chocolate milk - and there's the creepy lady with the shopping bags that really does look like a living dead, but who surprisingly talks and behaves frighteningly sane and actually quite nice. That is, when she is not wandering around slooowly, staring right ahead. So far on the other side to where I have moved now, I have noticed nothing weirder than the old drunks sitting on the railroad-bridge far up the main street.

But I suppose I'll find them soon enough, and I mean, the stereotype football-supporters are definitely there, and I think they are quite weird. I do. Speaking of weird there is also a primary school near us and all these first graders are walking alone to school - which is fine, but it hit me how small they are. I mean, this might seem like an outrage to you, but - children are tiny! They really are! I don't know at what point I was supposed to realize - because as a child I always thought grown-ups were so enormous - and obviously I am one of them now. But it just hasn't quite set previously.

I remember as a child whenever I was with my dads side of the family who are all part American or American - or Norwegian and they would often speak English to each other. I guess sometimes you can just express yourself a lot better in English, but I was always frightened when they were talking over my head like that, I never told anyone but I was convinced they were plotting to eat me. I was actually really scared.

That's a way growing up, huh? Later I have discovered that they usually just say uninteresting things when talking above the childrens heads anyway, well - at least not half as interesting as it would be if they were planning to eat someone.
The clouds from the car.
Efterklang at Chateau Neuf, it was lovely.
Shared two buckets of beer with Ulrik.
Random grafitti about the bird flu.
0

Rainaway

All this rain is really dreadful. The summer's practically rained away when it hasn't been scorching. Yeah, I know, never satisf---

Oh.

I just found something weird stuck on the F9 key on my keyboard. So I ate it.

Turns out, luckily - it was chocolate.

Either way - I really feel like I could let some sunlight in through the windows right now. It just seems so dark and eugh. Even though I know so well that I have all these excellent, wondrous things to look forward to right now. It is like an endless, hopeful list. When I wake up I turn over and I smile to myself, snuggled into the pillows. That's how happy I am. Waking up isn't fun really, it's awful. It is the idea of having a new day - even though it might not go as you wish, a few twists and turns will get you down, I can't help myself.

I am as usual when I don't really have the time for it - riding a creative wave that is out of my control. So I've decided to funnel it into something slightly constructive. And I will, as soon as I have the time. This post turned out awfully pompous.

It is thrilling to have all this energy, and I know that even though I can only see the bright spots from here, there's someone here to pull me through the dark. I am finally going to do something about it.


This guy here is Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson, that means "BearStar Bearsson" Pretty amazing to have a name like that I think. He wrote the Norwegian national anthem you know, among other things. I just like his attitude, very steady, purposeful. And the snow kind of framed his chest in an interesting, star-trek way.
0

Nice kitty

I find it amusing when people cuss and overreact. Really. Sometimes angry people can be so funny. And I guess that has to be the meanest thing ever, to laugh at someone who's upset. I can't say I've ever done it, not as far as I can recall. Not in their faces, at least - probably afterwards. But I've had my share of angry, several family members have the temper of a pregnant dragon, or a vampire breastfeeding. So I should know how to handle a sea urchin with all its spikes out.

Personally I can't even remember the last time I was angry. Like, really angry. I've been upset, annoyed, edgy - maybe a little splenetic, but I wouldn't say angry. No, I know what angry means and it is absolutely nothing like the above. Angry is something more. I'm thinking fuming, red-in-the-face, stomping, slamming, accelerating, fist clenching, unforgiving and tunnel-visioned angry. I think when I blow, I'm gonna blow so you hear it in the shower. In the locked bathroom, 3rd floor, your flat in Oxford. Actually Oxford, Boston (near Wai Wai Ice Cream). You gonna hear it, hopefully. I don't recall how angry I can be, so I might be disappointed when I find out.

Actually I think I might have used my quota of anger during my childhood. I wasn't angry often, I think, I usually never had to be. My parents gifted me with some kind of irresistable, manipulative charm that I abused to the fullest and that pretty much allowed me to do whatever I wanted to. It was only when it became apparent to me that I really wasn't going to get my will, that I blew up like an unbalanced soufflé. Actually I got so angry my eyes slid up my skull and I fainted, that's what happened. My temper was too overwhelming for my small body, I simply couldn't handle it.

Actually, in retrospect that kind of scares me.
0

Brush up your language, boy

I just downloaded a custom brush plugin for Paint.NET and over 200 brushes which is quite SNAZZY if I might say so myself. I know I really should be drawing in photoshop, but the primitive tools in Paint.NET makes it so much more challenging! I don't want everything to "look nice" because of well-written, expensive software, I want my technique and "skill" to be what makes the images come together, not a garbazillion* blend effects. Right? Do it the hard way! I think maybe struggling with the basics will give me a better chance at accomplishing more complex imagery when the time is right. Yesyes!

The weather's been reeally nice lately, except of course from yesterday when it was raining like cheese and crackers. In other news our newest family member Ulla is slowly getting the rhythm of this joint by calming the frutz** down, which is about time. She's got so much energy and she's always bouncing about like a deer havin' had her cocktail spiked. We bathed her and she looked just like a closely shaved sheep, like Shaun. I can't wait for summer and revising for exams is so boring I don't think I am able to emphasize the boreditty*** or dangerously dull potential it has. Really.

I like playing around with language, even though I will be accused for destroying it in the end. But that doesn't really matter really, as long as I don't have to take a swim in the ocean yet. Brrr! Which reminds me that we all have to squeeze ourselves into bikini's any time now, which is really half (past) eight****, if you know what I mean. Yeah you do. Now look what I did today!

Before: (Just the basic outline and text)


After: (the background I cheated using blurs and tiles - but no cheat brushes!)


* This is not a real measurable amount.
** Frutz is a Norwegian ice-cream made of fruits, but it sounds like a skin-condition (Sorry, I can't make it, I got frutz all over me eyelids), so I use it as a cuss-word.
*** This isn't a word.
**** This means that something is in poor shape, or looks a little down, 08:30 is appointed time for shabbididitty*****
***** NO.
2

The Most Frequent Thought

What's the thought I think most often? I know, it's a weird question, don't know why I thought of it it in the first place. But it just happened. And then I figured I should probably blog about it because the title of this blog is actually "Thoughts of a Viking" so it's a great topic in that context.

I do think a lot of random stuff (contrary to what many may think, my brain does actually function sometimes) - but I think I'm able to narrow the majority of randomness down to just a few often reocurring ones.
  • It's never as often "I am hungry" as it is "I want something to eat". Which didn't come as a surprise at all, but that I think explains a lot.
  • And I often think "You're so beautiful." I do. Meaning you, as in YOU - obviously.
  • Less often I think "Now what?" I can be terribly bad at thinking of things to do.
  • While as my most frequent thought is actually "I have gained weight". Which is kind of sad, but most likely true.
  • I think about music a lot, but it's very rare that I actually think "Oh this song REALLY makes me want to dance!" As my body usually just skips the reasoning  right away and I spasm right into dance.
So, that was a quite uneventful dive into my head. Ehm. I don't think we're any wiser, really. I'll go bother someone else now. In other news - it's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho! I tried it!

Todays Tracks:
Kingdom of Rust (Prins Thomas Diskomiks) by Doves
I Have a Dream in My Heart by Evan Voytas
0

Vitamins

I took several vitamins just now, and one appears to be like stuck on the way down. It's incredibly annoying actually. Had a dream that I was in Italy again, but it was snow there - and friends of mine were plotting vengeance to some other guy and schemed me in on it. Then I had legs made of glass, and had to watch some weird movie about matches and a love relationship between the Chinese Emperor and his Japanese sister in law. In addition I was also very fat and had to swim a small girl to safety from angry, yappy little guard dogs. And in the house I dreamt I was in there were these big, beautiful, blinking and coloured glass chandeliers. My oh my. But really this is nothing.

Because last night I dreamt I had a bit of LEGO inside my eye, like INSIDE. So I took my own eye out of its socket and put it in a jar of picklejuice because treating your eye like it's a gherkin preserves it better. I don't know. Confusing.

But today it is friday and everyone will be twice as happy as usual. Unless they have miserable plans for the weekend of course. Soon Elin will come back from Bali, we'll get a new dog(!) and then it'll be summer! Wow!
2

Witty-less

I am SO sorry my fizzy little creamcup. I just realized I used to try to be funny when I blogged, but it appears I've been having such a good time lately (13 days since last unhappy moment) that I must have completely forgotten. This might (in my defense) be due to the fact that I can have subconciously realized that I was never funny to begin with. Hm. But then I am confused above average today.

As a matter of fact my brain feels like an overswollen sponge right now, like dripping with oily cheese sweat - I forget everything and ram into more corners than I usually do. This did feel particularily risky when at work, obviously - seeing there's a lot of glass and old ladies and other easily breakable objects. Luckily I still have both kneecaps though, at least it feels like I do.

Right now I could right fancy some springrolls, I haven't had that in aaages, and she really meant ages. I'd like to have dimples when I smile too, it looks so gorgeous, but unfortunately the closest I get is having them on my lower back. But ooh! Scary old man in trenchcoat just passed me by, he usually buys loads of sweets in the shop - which looks incredibly conspicous if I may say so myself. But hopefully he isn't fishing for little kids, he has hopefully just an incredible sweet tooth. Though maybe you'd be very naïve to think that.

2

Pickle!

I am sipping from a small glass of Bristol Cream, it is very nice. Tastes just like Zul'Gurub. It really does. Right now I feel a little out of place, it is unusually quiet here at the moment. And Sigrid has gone back to Bergen, so she nor Axel are here to entertain me :(

I think I am going to draw something, yes yes, that will make the time pass quicker!

And what are everyone's plans for easter, anyway? I hope I get to do some decorations or something this year, because I've been bad at showing any kind of initiative at that for aaaages. And I took a picture of this excellent looking thingy in Germany, real tacky, sparkly, overdone, AND disgusting. I loved it to bits you know, that's exactly the way these things are supposed to look. I know I have said this before, but frankly it really can't be said enough, when it comes to decorations for any holiday - if it is actually in taste - it's bad taste. Okay? We green, here? I really hope so.

Thank you. 

Hmm.. And dark red has always been my favourite colour, I only just realized, but it's true. The warmth, the strength and the dominating qualities of this colour has always stunned me. It's royal and alive, kind of. I'm not sure I can explain! It's just so vibrant, it could have something to do with the cold here, and that the revitalizing heat of this shade of red feels so embracing against the chill, but it's also possible that I suffer from some kind of obsession with it. You never know. Right?
2

At the shop

He had big boots and a hat and a weird walk where he kind of kicked his feet out in front of him nonchalantly - yet determinedly. Oh! He just walked back in here. Hold on.

He bought another pair of scissors. Wow, I wonder what he needs them for. Anyway, this time he said; "They were so cheap". And I took his money and I said: -"Who are you going to kill?" And he smiled this time, actually I MIGHT have heard a giggle, but I can't be too sure. Because when he was here a few minutes ago and bought the first pair of scissors I said; "These are scissors +5 which means you'll be extra strong while wielding them." he said -"Ok." I don't know what he meant by that, but it surely didn't mean that he thought it was funny. Which I found annoying, of course.

I hate it when people wont smile. Yes it was a terrible joke, and I don't DEMAND anyone to laugh at my jokes, but general politeness and for the sake of good service I ALWAYS laugh at other people's jokes. It's perfectly normal. If you can't find it within yourself to lie at the expense of the boosting of others self-esteem, well I am sure that makes you a little arrogant.

And what worse day to be arrogant than valentines.

Nawh, two guys were just in and bought Valentine cards, they were the sweetest ever, they had flowers and they had shaved and they were so sweet. AAAAAW. And a guy just bought a card and I said "Aaahw, it's so sweet, everyone are buying valentine-cards, it's making me believe in humanity again!" He giggled and blushed and said; -"Experience made me do it." and I said -"Good luck with that!" as he left and he said thank you and he had a bouquet of roses in his arms.

Okay, sweetness overload. But really, it surprises me that people even consider other people these days, I keep thinking that nobody really cares about anyone and they are boicotting valentines because it is just a sales-trick. And that can mean two things, right? Either, they one; haven't realized it's a sales-trick, or two; don't care and rather think it is a great opportunity to show their love for someone. One would make me concerned, two would make me happy.

Happy valentines.
8

Creativity

Do you ever feel cursed by creativity? Ever? Right now I feel like every day is too short, there is so much I need to do! "The Scientist" is getting along very well, in addition I'm learning "Bella's Lullaby" from Twilight (I know! *giggles*) and obviously "Comptine d'un autre été l'apres midi." That is one of my favourite piano pieces of all time! (But right now it's killing my right hand, I think it just might be too small for hitting keys with seven keys in-between! So I am taking a break - by typing vigorously on my keyboard).

Anyway I have a whole ceiling I need to plaster with more drawings and I need to finish all the stories I'm writing and I want to finish that program I'm programming and create a youtube make-up channel for insane transvestite-looks and you know -- everything! And I have many CD's I need to burn, but this piano is currently taking up so much time. I've been sitting here by it for three hours today. If I had only been this dedicated when I first started playing the piano aaages ago - then I could've drawn a drawing right now, or written a novel! Damnit!

In other news, what's up? I am trapped in my own insane head and it's driving me crazy because time is flashing by like days in milliseconds!

Edit: I just remembered that I used to be able to play "Ballade Pour Adeline" like really well. *snort* But it's all gone now!
7

My Final Will and Testament

This is another picture from Portugal, from a graveyard in Lisbon, I just really liked that the skull only had one tooth. It was kind of cheeky.

I know very well that this isn’t a valid testament of any kind – and that nobody are forced by law to act according to it, but I know that it is my will. And in respect of the dead I suppose one should feel a little pressed. It wasn’t written in a bewildered moment, or in a time when I was madder or weirder than I already otherwise am, or was.

There are few things that need to be taken into consideration in the occasion of my death. I do not have a lot of value or worth to anyone except for that value my belongings have to me. Of course this must not be neglected, but in the end these things are only just things, and what really matters is that people are put before things. And this is something that I feel very strongly about.

I want my body to be donated to science! Because I have spent little of my life devoting myself to science, I am now suggesting to strike it even – if my mind were of no use to invention, then perhaps my body has. I do not want it buried, just burn it if science has no need for it. I surely have no need for it anymore. My ashes do not need a fancy jar or an elegant amphora – just throw it out in the garden and grow some grass on it.

I don’t really need a tombstone, as I am not buried, but it someone sentimental want a place to come and sing me a song or tell me a joke (I might not physically be there, but wherever I will be, I’ll listen hard for it!) – you may feel free to chop up a bit of rock and throw it somewhere convenient. In which case there should be a skull on it, just draw it with a permanent marker, no need to engrave and all that. If you’re feeling generous, I want the writing on my tombstone to be as follows:
“Tora” (You may skip a few of my names to cut the cost!)
“20.07.1989 – xx.xx.xxxx”
“Hurra!”

And in the event of my funeral I want you to play “Your Eyes Open” by Keane. Not only because I love that song, and that I have probably heard it more than any other song in my life. But because every arrogant bastard in my funeral will have to show some flipping respect and let the eyes sweat a bit. That’s what I think.

I am not dying, for the record -- I just thought I'd be well prepared!
7

Legs

Having long legs is a great thing, really, I pride myself on my legs. Whenever I’m buying trousers I feel like I’m on a treasure hunt, or, a desperately hungry grandparent looking for his teeth. It’s like looking for a trampoline in a mine shaft, yeah? It’s basically not happening. You never really find the things you’re searching for. Or, actually that’s not true, I do find trousers that fit, even though they would only fit ideally on a giraffe and I have to get them from a friend at the zoo – it’s not a problem. And having long legs is really nice, I mean if you’re swimming from a sunken ship after a terrible storm you’ll reach shore faster, wont you? Yeah, because you hit the bottom sooner. It’s fantastic. And you can use them to stake for corpses whenever there’s a search on for a dead body in the river. When someone’s gaping, all purple and swollen, lying on the bottom with all the fishes – it’s hard to evade a pair of pin-point precision stalks as those I carry with me all the time.

Well, stalks wouldn’t really be correct word here, that makes it sound as if my legs are made of twigs, which they are not. They’re more like five elevator cables wound together to a bouquet of steel – though not as impressive as it sounds, but as thick as it sounds. You have to keep your career options open these days I heard, and it’s great to have natural assets like skin stilts to aid you then. You out of a job, what do you do? “Need a lift? Need an oil-rig? Look! You think I’m in deep shit, well look at you, you’re waist-deep!” Right? There’s no end to the possibilities. Or, they end where your calves connect with the heels. Heels are nice, I once wore a pair of heels, I am thinking of high heels, naturally, not some other persons heels. That’s crazy! Why did you think of that? But anyway, it was back when I was small, a child or something a bit bigger with a slyer grin, when I was in a time of my life where I grew several centimeters at a time. So when I wore heels I became taller than everybody else, it was just that when I took them off again I was still taller. And that was frightening in many ways, I still had fresh in my mind the time I looked up at door handles or could easily walk upright underneath a car, but then suddenly I had the voice of a Peruvian boxer and the beard of a sailor. No wait, I am thinking of some other time. It gets confusing in the end, when you get old like that. But my legs were longer, and so I crossed the road by only tilting my knee and I got an icecream or some green tea – I heard tea makes you stop growing. We’ll see about that.

4

Looking for people with time

I've always loved to tell stories, and despite the fact that I have never really finished any of my started "works", I'm constantly thinking of stories or characters or ideas for twists and turns. This gets terrible bothersome after a while, so I have to sit down and jot the idea(s) down on paper in the form of a story. The problem is that I wear my eyes out on these things. I read, re-read, I edit, re-edit, I change something, remove lots, write a character out, add a new one, invent something, add a chapter or ten and so on and so on, but then I feel alienated from my own plot, right? I can no longer think of what's reasonable to happen next. And even if I DO create a disposition of the plot, everything I write just becomes unnatural. So I was wondering if I could call out for some assistance here, if only you would bother to read a page or maybe 26 or how many as you'd like and give me some feedback on it - I'd be in debt to you. Seriously. Because I get stuck and it's annoying because I really want to finish my stories!

Here are the beginnings of the four ones I am having particular trouble with, see if you can find one that is appealing in one way or the other and let me know, and I'll let you read the full story. I wont publish it here because it would be a dangerously long wall of text.

Pretty please?

"P Lot" - 7 pages
Eve worked in a large shopping mart. Every single morning, when the sun was still a pinkish haze through the pollution -she drove the short route through the concrete maze and parked in front of the neon-flashing chaos that was the liquor store. With the click of worn, cheap shoes she strode over the vast parking lot and around to the back of the mart, where it smelled rotten and fishy. The following bit she never remembered, because she was usually too tired. But before she knew it she was seated beneath the penetrating ceiling lights of Shop Smart Super Mart, bipping groceries past the cashier and watching people fumble for their wallets.
In addition to getting half an hour for lunch, five minutes for smokes and special offers on Shop Smart Super Mart’s own brand products (like the “Smart Shopping Super Easy Chicken Pastry Pasties 0.79$” and such) – she also got to wear their striped, red uniform. And she had been particularly lucky to get one that was at least two sizes too big, and a little stiff. So when she sat down by the cashier it looked like she was wearing a striped, red tent with “It Makes Sense to Be Smart - Choose Super Mart™” printed on the back.

"AGXH - 3" - 36 pages
”This swamp is disgusting!” she hollered to nobody in particular. She stood to her knees in the semi-yellow, slimey substances that covered the surface underneath the low ferns and the stalked flowers enveloping the misty wetness of the planet Schloorg. With much difficulty she managed to haul herself up from the sucking mass that bubbled with mysterious appetite. Small insects whirred and zoomed in and out of sight in the clampy mist. The sky was grey and empty, though still – mostly wet. Her shiny spaceship stood parked some way off, she had managed to steer it down on a patch of ground that didn’t immediately sink into the muddy masses below. Her cook, Flatch Estavado was unsuccessfully attempting to pick an eggplant-like vegetable from through an open window in the ship. -“Captain!” He shouted, though the fog seemed to devour most of the sound. “Captain! The- what is that?- Eew! –The roasted Uqail is ready!” He tried to shake off the pink slime that had covered his arm when the eggplant had exploded without warning.

"Forever Autumn" - 44 pages
It was at the dodgy end of Begonia lane, the lane edged with pumpkin patches and old, crooked oaks. The worn down, muddy street in the district of continuous autumn, where the crisp, dry leaves from the trees always flutter aimlessly in the wind.
In Forever Autumn the trees blush in fiery colours, wilt, then blush again – without ever sprouting or blooming. You see, this is because Forever-Autumn is the origin of everything that represents autumn and reflects the image of the world’s way to display the process from summer to winter. There is never summer in Forever-Autumn, there is no spring, no time for blossoming flowers and bird song. Forever-Autumn has no winter either, no frost, no snow, no starry clear winter nights and, there is never Christmas. All year around the trees will grow leaves that are already golden or red, apples will appear on the branches - though no flowers will have to blossom first, the pumpkins are always fat and reap and the crops a glistening yellow. None of the farmers ever have to plough or plant, the crops will appear over-night, and if they are not harvested, they will just stay there, nobody knows for how long, nobody have dared to test it.

"Maid in Buttermilk" - 4 pages
In a little dip between the fields lay a brick house. It was surrounded by blooming roses, purple and white lilac and some little scarlet begonias, all this foliage, the fuzzed, uncut lawn and the house were confined by a low stone fence. A warm June sun embraced this ripe summer afternoon and covered the landscape like golden drapes. The brick house was what by size I assume you’d call a small villa, or a minuscule mansion, because it was quite a pleasurable rust red size to it. You could tell from outside that most of the wobbly old windows had white lace curtains on the inside, and traditional, clean shutters neatly bolted on to the exteriority. All in all it was a very delicious countryside home, all heartily and delicately luscious.
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Does It Offend You, Yeah?

Today I made the delightful discovery of Does It Offend You, Yeah? It's like a fresh breath into my musicworld at the time! It's like Klaxons meeting a Daft Punk/Justice fusion mixed with Melody Club or something, yeah - with a whiff of Gorillaz I think it is? Sounds offensive? Sounds great! My favourites so far are Epic Last Song and Being Bad Feels Really Good. But I mean Attack of The 60ft Lesbian Octupus is obviously awesome, and what is so weird is that the title really goes excellent with the song!

In other news I'm desperately trying to write my NaNovel even though it's pointless because I don't really have the time to. But right now I'm fussing about it and it takes my mind of other things I'd rather not think about, so it's like therapy. The story is becoming quite interesting actually, or I think it is at least. 

The cast consists of a homocidal chick named Captain Lya Holotata, her chef Flatch, a kidnapped ex-slave/ex-soldier named Pent, a mystical messanger in shades named Vauce that smokes all the time, a man that shifts from being duck to being man, named Duckman. And then there is a mysterious spaceshipwreck and a lot of food and a piece of italian cake that needs to be delivered before the Happy Glow Festival. There is also a robot in the branch of public transport willing to cross universes to give back the proper amount of change.

It's stupid but it all makes sense, because it's NaNoWriMo and everybody's doing it and nobody really cares what anyone else is writing about because they all just want to talk about their own novel - like I'm doing now. And that makes sense too, because it takes my mind off things, but then it kind of stays there - in the novel, still. 16 094 words and counting. You may follow me here if you have nothing better to do. (Forgive the long post, it's NaNo-Syndrome).
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My room

Now in English further down!

Ser ut som et bombet likhus, ispedd kreperende rester av forgrepne klovner og resultatet av en rekke uforklarlige hendelser som antageligvis innebar en eske med sminke, femten meter teip, en boks kvitteringer, en samling CD'er uten cover, unbegrensede mengder klær, merkverdige glitrende objekter og små hårete vesener med lystige personligheter og appetitt på kalde rester av teposer og blyantspiss. Det hele kanskje med en slags atmosfære av en fanget kunstnerisk sjel som spontant var nødt til å gå i håndgemeng med hele sin portfolio og endte opp revet i fillebiter under en kontorstol, dekket av glitter.

Det er et sørgelig syn. Men det er også sant.

Looks like a bombed morgue, with the crippled rests of violated clowns added, and the result of a series of unexplainable events that were likely to involve a box of makeup, fifteen metres of stickytape, a box of receipts, a collection of coverless CD's, unlimited amounts of clothes, mysterious glittering objects and small, hairy creatures with an appetite for the cold remnants of teabags and pencil sharpenings. The whole of it perhaps with a kind of atmosphere of a trapped artistic soul that spontaneously had to go to physical measures with his/hers entire portfolio, and ended up ripped to shreds under an office chair, covered in glitter.

It is a sad sight. But it is true also.
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Lazerrrdream

I really had the weirdest dream last night, or at least it made me seriously paranoid. In the dream, Sigrid (my sister) and my grandmother (farmor/"father's-mother") were over for breakfast, but during the whole time, a red laser kept pointing at me. As if someone were trying to snipe me down from our neighbours house. It was really scary, I had to hide all the time and beware of the windows. Creepy.

Midways in the dream, our neighbours (who are an elderly couple) left their house - which meant I was safe from their sniper. So I went outside to our other neighbours garden, and they had acquired a birdie (a huuuge one) with a red shovel for a face. And it was really friendly and affectionate.

Try to get any sense out of that.
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Working out!

I'm playing with the camera on my flapflop, it is most amusing. But that's not the point of this post, the point is that I have now browsed countless websites in the hope that I would find out what to do with those spare hours of time in my weekly schedule I was hoping to exercise.

You see, I lack dicipline. There has been the rare occasion when I have been jogging a little, but that means me getting out of the house and often its cold - and Cleo, the lazy bastard, is horrible company. Seeing as she'd rather inhale the different scents in the ditches than keeping up with me. And then there's the bit where I don't actually manage to do it frequently enough to make it serve as a sustainable source of activity.

So I am giving in to the idea of working out at a "place". An idea I totally dislike, but that I probably have to swallow in the end. BUT - seeing as I am not very excited about doing aerobics with fifteen other mid-life crisis wives (that are usually my customers where I work), how about doing something unconventional? I am definitely up for both Yoga and Pilates, as I have done both before, and they're excellent for a good workout. (They aren't very unconventional anymore, though) - but Huladancing? Or DharmaDisco? Or Poledancing?! How about you vote, please? Let's sort this out.

The poll is in the sidebar! ------>
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