Make-up

I don't know why we spend so much of our lives trying to improve the way we look. It is probably the biggest and most common obsession of all humans (perhaps except from among Lapps and Eskimos, generally - the people in the snow have given up).

I don't know, I think I spend about twenty minutes - half an hour a day (at least) trying to fudge on my mask of sanity before leaving the house, not to mention trying to shape my birdly head-nest into something that would at least look like hair. But then I do wear a lot of make-up, more than anyone I know who's not a goth, anyway. And so I guess this time-consuming process is more dominating in my world than in others.

Not only do I spend (probably at an average) three and a half hours a week just trying to look sane, but I am always left at a loss on the "nightwear" rule. Because the basic rule when you go out bar-hopping, clubbing or to a party somewhere - is that you do this wearing about 30% more make-up than you do in the daytime. This means I have to spend about an hour wedging my face on with an ironing board, two buckets of cement, a sledgehammer and a fondue fork (whilst curling my head-nest with a bunch of heavy-duty bolsters*). -- And I regularly come out looking as a clown anyway, absolutely nada like Megan Fox. Nada.

So, if you like me, sometimes feel like beauty-treatment and cosmetics is taking over your life (Audun); save time on grooming by skipping showers. You can simply simulate that you're showering while on the bus to school. Apparently this method is

A. Entertaining

B. Fun to do

C. Relatively dry (unless someone spit on you)

D. Cheap - saves the hot water, and the shampoo!

So, as I can't seem to rid myself of the habit on wearing face-paint before entering every day warfare, for now I am simply going to infuse my invigoriting cassoulet of smells with a splurt of sweat and a knob of pollution that's been allowed to yeast in my pores for a little while longer!

Now that's pretty disgusting! Smudge some pus on the bus!

*For you curious types - yes, apparently the make-up ritual is quizzically similar to construction work

Tits are so 90's

Should we believe the Norwegian tabloid VG's online version (www.vg.no) - It's considered extremely untrendy to sunbathe topless. Norwegian trendexpert (whatever that is) claims it's savagely unmodern, while as 74% of men answering to a corresponding survey said it was fine. So, that's just too bad, I can't take my top off, then? Shame shame.

Personally I think this is the stupidest thing ever. Why should we have a fashion "opinion" on whether we should be allowed to be topless or not? Like, you better keep your top off now, because in a month it will be sooo last month. That doesn't even make a slight bit of sense.

Maybe I just have a problem with fashion in general, but either way - I'm going to be so topless this summer that you wont even imagine. This is the stupidest thing ever, and I'm totally boycotting. If you plan to follow my example don't forget that most tits rarely see the sun, so they're very sensitive and need plenty of sunscreen. If you're having problem getting enough SPF on, don't hesitate to ask one of the 74% of the guys who definitely think you're doing the right thing by letting your little babies breathe.

That's right. Have a great summer!

Blogosphere!

There are bloggers all over the place, like seriously - I can't even take my rottweiller for walkies without bumping into at least five. The thing is just that even though there's such a remarkable amount of people "contributing" to the magnificent blog-o-verse (like me, for example) - there usually is a GREAT distance between the good blags.

So I wanted to grant you a window into a few good fashion-blogs that I now frequent. I'm not exactly very caught up with fashion, but these three are excellent writers, and sincerely deserve attention and admiration for their work. Really!

First up is the next-to-Godly, Doe Deere, from Doe Deere Blogazine she's even launched her own make-up line called Lime Crime, and she has the most GORGEOUS hair, I mean beautiful - and the sexiest cheekbones. She also has a bit of cheek and a large amount of style. Excellent read. Her husband takes beautiful photos as well, not to mention the genius of her excellent, and colourful sense of style.

Second is Nice & Shiny, a Canadian DIY fashion-guru - she's got that bit of truthfully quirky originality about her that makes her extra lovable. She also displays a vast diversity of quirks and poses that are further enhanced by her affectionate writing. Also - she likes The Mighty Boosh. Friend of my friend, love ya!

Third and last is Tavi, 13 year old and extremely beautiful - not to mention grown up, that's currently running Style Rookie with a great and energetic (don't forget random) way of writing. What can I say? I'm just so impressed with her work! Respect. Also, not many others could pull of the headline "get down from there coffee you do not belong on that dog you are a beverage". Brilliant.

Today's tracks: 

You Lose by Cause Co-Motion!

Electricity ft. Fred Falke by Kris Menace

Drink!

Don't forget Earth Hour today at 8:30 p.m. (your own local time!)

Today I've had almost an entire carton of Innocent mango and passionfruit smoothie - though Suzanne had a little bit too. I think smoothie might be one of the best things ever, seriously. It's so incredibly delicious and this one was so thick it was almost creamy (like Bailey's - mm, creamy!) but i mean there are loads of things that are nice to drink.

-- Like ice-cold Norwegian tap water! Mm! Seriously, it's possibly the best beverage out there. In a way it is almost worth it to visit Norway just to have a nice big, dewy glass of refreshing tap water. Yum. We have the best water in the world.

The texture and appearance of water has actually always fascinated me. It's so weird that something so powerful and heavy can be see-through like air - or that it can smell like nothing, and feel so different depending on the temperature of it. Oh! And that it can be hard as ice, soft like snow or just untagible as steam! Also I love the sound of running water, the light tinkling and the calm rythm of it - or the sound of it being poured out of a bottle in glugs. That's such a wonderful sound!

The thing about drinks is that it has (just like food) developed from being just thirst-quenchers - actually some have even completely deranged from being so - to become symbols of social status, objects of fashion - reflecting our inner self. When "Sex & The City" hit its peak - everybody drunk cosmopolitan. Or when Bond in "Casino Royale" differed from his usual choice of shaken martini and ordered a new drink (called a Vesper). Which according to the film is made like this: "Three measures of Gordon's (gin), one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel". - The sales figures for Kina Lillet shot through the roof.

It is no longer considered high fashion to drink Coca Cola, in some circumstances I bet it's even looked down upon (not where I hang out). What's in the 'now', then? Organic? Without additives? One of your 'five a day'? No, wait, it's 'good for you' - isn't it? Silly? Yes I think so. But it is ever so much part of our life as consumers as of any other aspect of our lifestyle. We always do unhealthy things to our body - eat things we know are not good for us - smoke, drink alcohol, vanity surgery, you know. It's not necessarily because the brands and manufacturers are shouting at us from every angle, or that we do it because we know it'a unhealthy - right? We (in most part, I would think) do these things because it tastes good, or makes us feel good.

And we allow ourselves to be manipulated on this part, like I would buy almost anything that looks good, I know that - I'm weak. We like to be surrounded by things that please us, it's only natural. What surprises me then - is that people would make their choice out of guilt. Choose the sugar free alternative "even though it doesn't taste as good" or buy the organic option "despite the fact that the colour is a bit off". Like, hey! What happened? We should be responsible, I really think that we should. We should take adult decisions that reflect what we think is the mature, sustainable thing to do. We should not be made puppets of the average opinion, and live life based on what others tell us to do. Organic products aren't even good for the environment - least of all sustainable! We should rather choose because we - ourselves - truly believe it is the right thing to do by our own, free will. And this is hard, because we are subconciously brainwashed by the opinions of 'the world in general'. So what is the right choice then?

If we think the unhealthy option is right, then just chooce this treat less often, and rather do and eat, wear and drink the things we really like without feeling bad about it. Nothing makes life worth living like a bit of sin in between all the good-doing. And that's because life is just like a box of chocolates, by each bite we get fatter and fatter, but we still drink Bailey's - because it's mMm, creamy!

Buksedress - Jumpsuit

Today I did the odd purchase of a Diesel jumpsuit (buksedress).

I haven't been able to locate the English word for this particular piece of clothing. But my sister managed. She is sick at the moment, so I assume she simply doesn't have much else to do! :D Get well soon!

A jumpsuit is like a wholepiece top and trousers/jeans in one.

An evil return from the 70's and 80's.

I googled it and I found a picture of the Giardia bacteria.
Hmm. Strange!

Look I added a picture! But mine doesn't look much like that <_<

2008 Hot Trends

You are as usual missing out on fashion, and the fact that a new year full of bimbling opportunities await you - it, it simply does not seem inspiring. First off, you couldn't possibly bother typing out the word 'fashion' or 'trends' on your smelly keyboard - or read magazines, or bother looking around and see what 'cha can get out of what everyone else is wearing. Second, well, you haven't before. So why now?

I'm going to tell you why. Because my list of the most überdelicious, spankingly gorgeous trends has NOTHING to do with what everyone else think is fashion. You put your hat on your bling and dangle your chimney from your ears - that is fashion. It's got nothing to do with what actually looks, tastes, feels or smells good. The 80's are a great example of just that.

Give it a go, c'mon, you know it makes sense. You can wear a tent wrapped under your armpits, and still look absolutely breathtaking. All you got to do is straighten out your posture and walk with confidence. They're all going to think you're king of the mods.

This year you'll give trends a shot!
Here is my fabulous, updated list of what's hot - and what's not, for 2008!

HOT:
1. Pale skin, go for a sexy ghost-look, a beautiful milky-blue complexion is this seasons ideal - If you ain't white, it ain't right!
2. Squids - either if it's squid shoes, a squid bag, or squid chopped in to your sushi, squids are a top must have for every occasion!
3. Yuzo flavoured Lakerol - the golden little tooth accessorie to go with anything!
4. Glitter, sparkles, silver, gold, bling bling and conflictless diamonds! Bring in the chandeliers!
5. Litchi fruit, the grape-like fruits are schlooptastic for salads, desserts and also does excellent as the perfect makeshift evening gown.
6. Glasses - frame your eyes with a pair of lele-llllicious eye-goggles!
7. Smurfit! Take your sock and smurf-it!
8. YuzoPumpsBongoSatan is officially the hottest band. If you haven't heard their underground club-slammer "Yuzo" - Well, you have plans this weekend. This is the most wanted band for gigs in 2008, and their heavily anticipated album "Split, Total Hit" was released January 1st.
9. "The Mighty Boosh". You will love it, I will make you love it.
10. Combs. Cave-look or princess-look are both perfect, just go all the way.
11. New Rave reflective-clothing colours. Think post-it notes, but add some glitter and some flair.

NOT:
1. A tacky, brown, pornstar tan. - Orange is out! By all means avoid the sun, the solarium, self-tanning, brown make-up foundation or any other colourings! Au naturale with some white compact powder finish is perfect.
2. Organic food - if everyone eat organic food, it wont be enough food for our planet. This season is all about being considerate! Throw in a bit of additives.
3. "Trendy" workout-outfits - and all kinds of running. You don't want to be caught dead running this upcoming season. And especially not in a matching outfit.
4. "Trend"-blogs. Don't read them, it's all lies.
5. Ringtones and all other fancy downloads for your mobile phone is a no-no-no NO!
6. Facebook, of course. (Was never hot in the first place, obviously).
7. Nylon and fake textiles are fashion disaster, never ever even consider show yourself under the sun wearing nylon. You'd be lynched!
8. Mispronounciation of "espresso" (expresso) is considered social suicide.
9. Cigarettes. Smoking will discolour your stunning milky white complexion. Eeew!
10. Moustaches, beards and sundried tomatoes.
11. Cars are a definite trend-killer, walking, strolling or riding your bike is the perfect booster for 2008.
Full size.
If you have your visual spam-filter on, have a hangover, or you simply just hate reading those schmockingly long texts I vomit out on your screen, I promise I'll give you what's HOT and NOT in pictures as soon as I'm done turning off my own filter and slept the pain away.

Kisses.