Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts

Cleo

Cleo, the best dog in the universe

I don't know how to say this.

Cleo's liver is failing, and she doesn't eat much. She weighs less than 28 kilos now.

She is on a liver-improving diet and she's getting some pills, but she wont eat much, and she wont consistently take the pills. Whenever she gets up, Ulla gets all excited and starts licking Cleo's face as much as she can. Cleo doesn't even have the enthusiasm to tell her to piss off.

I am getting pretty certain that this is the end for her, and I wish it wouldn't be so slow and humiliating. Starving herself to death. She really was meant to eat herself to death. Salmon and waffles and all the love she could handle.

I try to tell myself that she is only a dog, but she is so much more. She is family and such a great friend, and I know she's had a good life, and I know it can't last forever. But I wish it could.


I will keep you all posted!
2

Me and my stomach


I did get your attention. Thank you Kronk!

My stomach and I are not friends.

We have a very bad way of communicating to each other. I can't really understand what it is trying to say when it is aching, expanding and making me feel horrible. And it certainly doesn't answer when I am trying to figure out what is making it upset.

It is like having the most cryptic girlfriend communicating only through domestic violence.

I know I have a very varied diet, and especially for being a student. I eat a lot of vegetables and a lot of whole wheat bread and other stuff that is meant to be good for you like green tea, fruit and a lot of snap n' crackle.

Seriously though, It must be some sort of allergic reaction, and it occurs more often on Fridays than on any other day of the week. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, and I assure you it is certainly not stress-related. You might know me, and because of that I wont have to explain. I don't have very well-developed stress glands. So it must be something that I'm eating. But what? I'm not consuming anything now that I haven't always eaten every now and then.

But yeah, this weekend my diet will consist of toast and Biola until I get better.
6

Floorboard Dining

Yeah, I wish I could explain this. But I just found it, and as far as I recall it was an idea I had for a videogame about apple jam.

I think we are getting just a slight bit obsessed with this bacteria thing. There's anti-bacterial soaps and wet-wipes and if we get the chance we'd carry antibacterial in aerosol cans and just give us a body splash whenever. And when the bacon-flu "struck as worst" we couldn't possibly have gotten more phobic. Every snort, every hiccup, every leaf falling - it was the sound of  a lung-splitting, pus-spraying showering sneeze evenly coating your presence in a wiggling film of deadly flu.

I can't say I didn't take precautions either. But I work in a shop and had a lot of contact with random people - and also their infected money - but didn't catch it. At least I don't think I did. and I haven't got a clue why, it really didn't make much sense. Hey, I even ate from the floor!

Some people think it is disgusting to pick up food you've dropped and eating it anyway. And sure, I wouldn't do it in most public places. Tee hee. But you must understand that it has merely become a part of my lifestyle because I have no choice. A human with my coordination, and with my love for food - what am I supposed to do?

Can you even imagine how skinny I would've been if I didn't eat whatever I dropped?! Maybe I wouldn't even exist!

Whhuueeeooaaa?! Oh, and I don't eat muesli off the floor usually.

And Cleo, you better move in with me, because I am eating much more off the floor now that you can't beat me to it.

Err. And what about you,? Do you eat things from the floor?

Roskilde '09

Was very very very hot. The sun was scorching and we were awakened by this brutally each morning before nine when the tent was suffocating us. Actually every morning proceeded something like this; the other three in our camp, that slept in different tents from us woke up first and initiated rolling the days first joint. Tink has already somehow managed to poke her head out of the inner part of the tent so she manages to breathe normally. Unlike the rest of us. Helge half-runs out of the tent to get air, and I follow half-running, half-falling out of the tent that is now boiling as a sauna. Kristin and Eivind wake up last, usually managing (miraculously) to catch a few more minutes than the rest of us.

The days were spent searching for shade and anything to cool us down. People are everywhere, dirty, tired, hungover, sweating, crippled by the heat. Still music is thumping from assorted speakers throughout the camp-areas, and most start to drink immediately to chase away the thudding discomfort of searing heat in combination with numbingly painful hangovers. In the clearings big shading canvases are set up, underneath which people are napping and drifting off all day in the shade. The "forest" areas looked undisturbed from a distance, but if you lifted the branches away you could see how the cool, moist forest ground was covered with desperate souls. Like a patchwork blanket of shiny, sweaty people, sleeping the pain and heat away.

We too spent one day shielded underneath the trees, but lucky as we were, we had access to a car, and so escaped to Copenhagen and Roskilde by most of the days. We went swimming in the indoors swimmingpool and went shopping and had bagels and chewed on licorice roots (that tasted like sticks with a bit of very strong licorice in them) fun at first, then sickenigly disgusting. Poor Eivind's foot was injured badly before we went to Roskilde, so he had to limp around everywhere.

The evenings were the best. We raved out by one of the bigger camps in our camp (J), and we had some licorice shots and lukewarm beer. We kept getting lost in translation with all the danes and that was really awesome. Like I'd ask someone by the bonfire if they had marshmallows, and they'd go "What's that?" and I'd repeat my question saying "MaaAwRshmellOHyws!" and then they'd be all "Aaah! MEYRshmEllOHws!" XD Classic.

Concerts! We saw all kinds of different stuff, but at least I got to see Whitest Boy Alive, La Coka Nostra, White Lies, Oasis, Coldplay, Haakon Hellström, Röyksopp (which was AMAZING), glimpses of Den Sorte Skole, some Kanye West, and some random DJ's in the lounge. And I mean random. Loads more played, but the ones scheduled before four in the evening were too hot to attend, and occasionally there were better things to do than to rock out in the festival area. Believe it or not.

The food was great pretty much everywhere. Yummy nachos and sweet mangolassi for the spicy indian food, we went to two different tex-mex buffets, probably to the hosts' great despair. When I wasn't sunburnt I was filthy, though it was usually both. But really being clean isn't what it's all cranked up to be. There is a certain charm to not bothering whther you look like shit or not, I stress that it's probably healthy to kick back and don't care sometimes. Though the icky thing is that I got sick during the last day, and it wasn't because I caught a cold, I'd got it from someone else, that place is like a bacteria-theme park. I mean, I am still sick to this day, eleven days later. But I definitely don't mind, was totally worth it.

Tink bought this awesome beachball that we covered in glitter-tape, it was beaaautiful, though unfortunately it got stolen :( It was too pretty to be left alone.

Thanks so much everyone for a really fun trip! Thank you for the music :D

White Lies
Eivind and Kristin with diamonds! O00ooOoh!
Helge and me at Whitest Boy Alive

Tink drew wiskers on me. Beeaaauuutiful!

Today

I've had the wine-flu all day actually. It's weird how it doesn't go away for a long time, that even though you're feeling a whole lot better, it still kind of distantly feels like someone'd tried to chew you and then filled you up with cramp-juice. I've been eating digestive biscuits with sour cream and limped around like a pregnant puma.

Turns out, starting May 17th with (according to Helge) at least six glasses of champagne before breakfast and then drowning in sangria and cuba libre at Elin's for dinner, was not such a good idea after all. Carlos'd hired caterers for the most extraordinary breakfast buffet with steamed mussels, roastbeef, smoked salmon, roasted chicken, big loaves of freshly baked bread, a tower of strawberries, champagne, chocolate treats and even the traditional kransekake. There was even more, but I can't recall everything. Needless to say, it was delicious too.

Elin'd made a bathtub (almost literally) of sangria, loads of salad, her ever so delighful potato salad, loads of dip, crisps and cake! Ulrik was boss of the baaar-beee-queue - and I wont even list all the delicacies, because frankly my keyboard isn't *that* waterproof.

There you go. Today it RAINED, which was miserable, almost as miserable as my fragile state. And I can't wait to come home and relapse into a comfortable position and die a little bit more inside. YESS.
Another random photo I took the other day.
3

The Bacon-Flu

It has been decided that I love the chosen one most. No, really. I gathered that people are becoming quite paranoid about this whole swine-flu thing. So before you defenestrate all your house-pigs and shriek your heart out while running for the hills - take a breather and read the information below. It is simply some very basic precautions and procedures for the endurance of the Swine Flu pandemic, and it goes like this:

1. To prevent any more panic, the Swine flu is from now on known as The Bacon-Flu, because it sounds much nicer and not so scary.

2.  If contaminated with the Bacon-Flu - make sure to draw a pig's nose on your face mask to warn others when out in public.

3. To improve your immune system, add a spoon of cod liver oil to your cornflakes every day.

4. Keep a wickedly gorgeous hairdo, like that of Noel Fielding, to fend off the virus.

5. Listen intently to Untrust Us by Crystal Castles to stimulate your underground electric look and keep in shape.

6. Bacon can be eaten as normal, the subtype H1N1 (Bacon - Flu) does supposedly not transmit through food.


2

And like eleven pints of grog

What exactly is grog? I don't think I've ever understood what it is. Is it some kind of drink? Grog must be the ever expanding mass of discomfort that fills your body up to your eyes when you're hungover. That's where the term groggy comes from. That's what I think.

I was at Ulrik's place last night, had a laugh with the guys (or some of the guys), they had beer and I had bitchpop and snap n' crackle. Had a great time actually! But ended up crashing there and sat chatting until 5:30 in the morning. I arrived at work one and a half hours ago. Meaning I've slept about three hours last night.

So I can't help feeling the grog rushing around my system like poison, my eyes are bloodshot and I think my coordination is affected by the grog as well. Gheurgh. It is the reason why I get hangover so easily, the second I don't get enough sleep I know I'm going to feel like shit the next morning. In combination with loads of sugar and alcohol - hangovers tend to be rather brutal with me.

But right now it's just grog. Too much grog. Grog and ... Grog. Can't even be creative, it is the grog. Preferably spelled with an h. Grogh. Could be an artist's name, Van Grogh. But it isn't. It is just liquid evil.
2

Curiosity

Oh please, I know I am always told that I defend my own laziness when criticizing something. But I was just standing around, looking at people passing me when I realized why I in real life find skinny women to be uninteresting. Let me allow myself to semi base this on the song "Me and My Imagination" by Sophie Ellis Baxtor. Because even though it is not the same point she is confronting - I am going to write about something down the same alley at least.

Skinny, thin women - longlegged, wide-eyed - with high, sharp cheekbones; they look great. They look great in photographs, in expensive dresses, they look great in a film or in a music video - light and fragile like starved birds. I have always found beauty in the human skeleton, I have, really - it is fascinating and wondeful like a cathedral, a praise to God in its architechtural genius.

But in reality. In reality there is nothing unsolved or mysterious in skin and bones, nothing to be curious about. There are few curves to explore but the dents in between the ribs, few areas that would feel soft or comfortable to the touch. Obviously there is no use in having a wonderful build, when you have no weight to compliment it. This has become an obsession, especially in showbusiness - our ideal for beauty is inconveivable to most, and has grown forth by photo manipulation and CGI. What can I say? I am not saying that you have to be a berg of intergalactic scale, or even close, to be attractive or alluring. But focus is sliding from "Being able to give birth to healthy children" and "Being able to survive the winter and lift heavy loads" to "weighing as little as possible".

In the UK, nearly 2 in every 100 secondary school girls suffer from anorexia nervosa,
bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder.

Weight loss and getting healthier are often misconcepted for being the same thing. Becoming healthier doesn't necessarily mean that losing weight will get you there. Having a healthy varied diet, living a good life, moving your body and being in general at peace with your own body - does not concede with our beauty ideals.

An estimated 10 per cent of female college students suffer from a clinical or sub-clinical (borderline) eating disorder, of which over half suffer from bulimia nervosa.

Needless to explain, this does not account when being overweight, but obviously there is a difference in being fat and feeling fat. What defines being fat? Every body is different, no body grows or develops the same way - therefore, not every human body can be 175 cm and still weigh 45 kiloes. And whatever happened to having fun? When the ideal of being thin completely dominates our ability to enjoy ourselves - then what is the point in living? "She looked great in everything she wore, but she never let go. She was a killjoy."

An estimated 1 in 3 of all dieters develop compulsive dieting attitudes and behaviors. Of these, one quarter will develop full or partial eating disorders.

Don't change who you are and what you are for the sake of fitting into something that society is telling you to fit into. Because I love you, and I will always appreciate you no matter what you look like. I'm not telling you to ignore the common concept of beauty, I am telling you to sacrifice it for the sake of your health, your human body.

I'm only saying you should "... Leave something/For me and my imagination..."

By the way, this is my post #800!
0

Long time, no Seal!

Yeah, so sorry about that. I have totally been neglecting this blog for the last couple of days, which is terrible of me - I'm sure. Not necessarily because my little submissions were to be missed, but because it is dangerous for me to lose my blogging rythm. It makes me lazy and takes ages to retrieve.

I was at my second Justice concert last wednesday, it was quite good. The audience were certainly prepared recepticals for any sound the French duo were willing to blast out of their speakers. Personally I think the peak of the concert was when they quite brutally mashed "You're No Good for Me" by the Prodigy in to their beats. That was fabulous. Also I wore a sure deathtrap that easily entangled itself into any passing creature, so dancing was much like "avoiding", which is common in Norway, because it is so full of Swedes. Either way, every feminine particle in my body can be proud of me wearing a dress - because I'm not too good at that. And my wonderful, sparkling shoes reduced my feet to a pulpy sludge of blood and flesh.

Saturday we went to see everybody again at Eivind's place, and I had alcohol for the first time in several months*. It is so nice to catch up with everyone, and Elin is back from England and Ulrik back for a bit from the Army and you know - it was really nice. Also there were new people to meet and I had a rather dramatic misunderstanding up on the roof-terrace. All in all I had too much Urge and too much alcohol and then I walked Elin home and I was in bed about 5 in the morning.

Needless to say I had the hangover of centuries (again, so unfair I always get them. I think someone out there is secretly sending their pain to me, so I get double the trouble). But honestly, there is a reason why I'm not a hard drinker (usually!) because I just fall asleep, or if I manage to stay awake (which takes endless amounts of caffeine) I am so fragile the next day I almost have to take a few days off.

Speaking of which I am being such a good girl and working out, the problem is that I work out on Mondays and then my muscles are horribly sore until the following Friday. Seeing I am a lazy bastard and couldn't even consider working out during the weekend - I start off at Monday again. Even though I am paying for working out the entire month, I only get to do it once a week. Hopefully it will change though, and I'll become Superstrongmonsterwoman and I'll kick your sorry ass back to 1991! Which is a mean place to end up - you'll have to wear tights!

The weather is quite mild, I'm really eagerly anticipating December and the snow, even though November is going to be a tough one. Scored well on my Java hand-in, but have another one on Friday which is smaller but a lot harder, and I'm not very keen on spending a lot of time on it because it just doesn't feel rewarding! But I'm working on that, I really want to like it, it is just hard to do so.

This has turned into the longest post ever, and also one of the most pointless posts ever. Make whatever you wish of it, I'm publising it now. Oh, and I think I'm brewing up a cold, I'm sneezing into my tea!

*meaning alcohol in the common, vast quantities that the Scandinavian drinking culture requires.
11

Russ is over


Soo.. That's a wrap.
The russetid is officially over, and it's very sad, as a matter of fact - it's very very sad :(
I've completely lost my voice, all you hear is a loud, high-pitched scraping sound when I try to speak, so I haven't been able to talk properly since May 16th! If this continues much longer - i will go crazy! Speaking of which - gogo May 17th! YAY! Happy Snoreway Time!
I'm sure there's looaads to tell, like that the four of us (Ulrik, Jakob, Elin and myself) drank a crate of beer inside a phone booth for a russ-knot, and later we woke up some teachers at six in the morning! (One of them had baked buns for us, she was supernice). It snowed as well, in fact - it was the coldest May 17th for fifty years.

Go team, we fail at climate, indeed. I put some before/after pictures pre/past russetid here, to describe everything in pictures for you.

And here I am, doing what I do best! In fact, exactly what I am going to do now, and have done for some 16 hours. Sleep!
4

Maah

I don't feel very well :(

Today I've brought two different kinds of brown cheese on my matpakke, so I can feel extra Norwegian.

MAAAH

I am officially ill now, it hurts a bit. Like my legs. But I got to be strong though, to be fair we've only just started!

For those who don't know, I've been to Lillehammer this weekend as part of the russetid. There was this giant party, but it rained and it was muddy, which is why I'm a little reduced at the moment. On the brithg side, it was a blast, and I even took some pictures! You can see them here if you'd like.

//rave on. "Zomygawhd!" - quote, Skjalg.
I might fill you in laterz.

April - NABOF Month

April will be my NABOF month. Not Actually Blogging On Food month.

I have done some excessive research on my head. Which didn't honestly take a lot of time. But my conclusion is that I need to take my mind of things like that. I will attempt -- to for an entire month -- not blog about food. I might keep a post I will fill with my thoughts on food for later, but I will try not to. I mean, it's too much of an obsession, and I'm doubting that it's very interesting.

Actually speaking of danes I had to rescue a dane the other day, she had a horrible fall on her skiis and lost one of them. She kept rolling down the slope, so I had to do hit the brakes on my board and pick her ski up. Then when she'd stopped rolling I gave it back to her and helped her up. I don't think she understood me, our languages are slipping apart like a poorly stirred hollandaise. But either way she seemed grateful. Those danes have no business up in our mountains, the mountains are too dangerous for them! They should return to their levelled homeland and ride their bike to the bakery and have some pastry and beer. That's what I think they should do.
12

Night out

I'm just curious - where exactly on my forehead does it say that I take general interest in not patricularily beautiful men with very bad pick-up lines? No, I'm serious. It must say somewhere on my face, I'm sure. Just like it says somewhere on my behind that I prefer sleazy swedes with overtime at S.A.T.S. to grab hold of me.

And when you have told me exactly where these messages are spelt out - I will remove them. because they are faults, they are errors, they are not true! And any bald-headed bergenese monkey wishing to contradict - may do so, but will fail. Miserably.

Please, when this has been done, you must also tell me why there are no people in this city, and why all the purty guys have already been taken. Especially the one that looked like the lead singer in The Kooks, which was a shame. And then, after that, tell me where the creativity has gone when you tell someone to take a wild, crazy pick - and they return with Gin & Tonic.

Yeah, so, thanks a bunch. I believe that will explain a few things.

And -- Eeeeugh, hair smells like cigarettes. Blaeh!

Chocolate muffin? Sweet Corn and Chili Muffin?

Edit: And maybe they should read this guide.
Edit II: I want to go snowboarding again.

Aaaah I'm bleeding from my face!

This morning, on my way to school - or, on my way out of my room, through the attic. I came near this steel beam that was leaned up against the chimney. And I didn't realize what it was, so I turned around to face it, and then it fell on my forehead.

And I didn't have time to be wounded, so I moved that ruddy beam to prevent it from ever smacking me in the face again, but as I was climbing down the ladder I felt a stream of something heavy drizzling down my face.

Oh... And I looked in the mirror, and it looked like a horror-movie, and I thought: Maybe I should take a picture? But my camera was not nearby, and I guess the idea in itself was kind of morbid.

So I had to run to the bathroom and wash my face, and then plaster it up quickly, as I had to get my ass to school.

The good thing is that I have this cut in my forhead, and people have quite some respect for wounds in the face, so if I get tired of my schmonkingly dull media-teacher (with the gruesome, brain scraping accent) I will tell her I am in pain, and I will go home. I should've just stayed home, I guess. But here I am!

So, you want me to teach you about criminology, love?


Yours, Slush-brain
4

Chronic Wrapping Syndrome (CWS)

What do you know? It's easy to catch something nasty at this time of year, might be anything. A little pest, some flu, a hat, a cold, something that might kill you, you never know. You go out without a scarf, in two hours you'll be dead. But what you do know, however is that this time of year the more dramatic cases of CWS (Donum Obvolvo Gravatus) Syndrome is discovered among the population. And, for all you may be aware of - perhaps you've caught it.

Chronic Wrapping Syndrome is an obsessive compulsive disorder not at all to be mistaken for all the other similar acronyms:
Canadian Wildlife Service, Crackle Whoop and Snap, Church World Service, The Coil Winding Specialist, Critical Wank Symphony, Coupling Wave Solutions, Corc Worship Saturday, College World Series, Crocodile Whiff Slough, Chicago White Sox, Cappucino Wig Seals, Chirping Whiz Slomp, Cirque Wiener Soleil, Chocolate Whomp Sleigh or Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary.

The most likely ones to suffer from CWS syndrome are people working in service branches, though normally it is said that women in general are exposed the highest. The spread of the syndrome, however is disaccordingly to the urban legend totally sporadic; you and I are equally as likely to catch it.

CWS is strongly related to holidays and major celebrations, Christmas is obviously the worst of them all, which is the reason why during January hundreds and thousands of people are diagnosed with the above. The symptoms are usually the powerful urge for wrapping everything up, by that, meaning wrapping up in every possible meaning of "wrapping up".

Examples:

  • Wrapping up the truth, lying constantly
  • Wrapping up in too much clothes
  • Wrapping up food and storing it for later
  • Wrapping up work, finishing it before deadline
  • Wrapping up people - meaning you get over their death, sometimes before they die.
  • Wrapping up and then down
  • Wrapping up and accepting certain events, often misinterprated for being a pushover.

The only cure is to smoke or to squeeze hard a frog that you don't like. If you lose a frog the condition can get worse, and you then have to smoke or squeeze two frogs, that you don't like.


Oh, and you should check out this English to Norwegian Dictionary

5

And - a happy new year...!!

You been calling the moose in the white telephone all day, have you?

Well I haven't, even though I've been restraining myself so much to avoid it - that in the end I got stuck with the exact same feeling anyway. I'm still covered with chizzels, and I still feel like my body's filled up with washing-up water.

Goodness me. What a way to start 2008? I don't know what's wrong with us.
Today, the very first, blank page of a new year I have watched season one and two of The Mighty Boosh - which I thought was absolutely worth my time, and also comfortably creative, so I didn't go braindead from the .. oh ...I'm trying to think of the word, but somehow my fingers remain clutching the sad remnants of yesterdays curls - and then my headbrain made a soft, kind of empty 'schlop'... and honestly now I don't know what's happened.

Exhaustion maybe, maybe that's a word that could do the trick. Or a shower, maybe. Too.
I'm going to clear this place up after christmas, with a broom, so it wont look as much as a cramped shop you might suspect of selling 'kebab meat' from the 'secret' counter of 'unsuspicious-stash'.

All these long words.

Visiting sister

'Few years ago I visited my sister in Bergen to come party at her school. It was a particularly good party - though at some point my sister completely vanished.

I was wandering around by myself at this party for several hours, half-dancing, half-chatting and half-searching for my sister. It was a wicked party and there were people everywhere. I got trapped in a room full of singing people and then told nasty stories about my sister to complete strangers to make sure her reputation lived un suitably unpolished.

Naturally (as time is quite natural) it was getting late - or as some would say - early. Coincidentally I ran into her flatmates and they suggested I'd just get myself home, with or without my sister, because somehow she always managed to get herself back to where she belonged. Whatever planet that may be. I have pondered about this.

Moments after I stepped outside I found my sister, getting followed out by two large guards and obviously arguing stubbornly with them. I said something along the lines of "I think this belongs to me" and grabbed my sister by the arm. Even though this was in late, shitting cold autumn she was wearing nothing but a toga and had a silk scarf tied around her curly head.

As we walked away and over to the taxi-queue she insisted on going into the little grocery department by the petrol station. Bamboozled I was unable to get a proper answer to why, so I guided her over to the queue.

Before I knew it, she had snuck to the front of the line and was accusing the guy first of stealing her taxi. There was a long line of people, and I felt as small as a tin of German sardines. Then again, I wasn't coming back for another year, I was cold and also considerably under influence - I obviously did not interfere with the conversing just to see where it could get me.

With a smug smile my sister elegantly pulled me into the taxi after a few nicely put comments and the taxi drove off, the driver even nodding at her remarks. He asked us where we were going and I didn't know so I looked helplessly at her, so she muttered and I nodded. And then she fell asleep.

Safely home we walked into the apartment and I started peeling off my clothes, my sister had sat down to have a bowl of fruits of the forest yoghurt with muesli. I fell flat into her double bed and snuggled into the duvet, all warm and comfortable and my feet throbbing of soreness from the shoes. Few minutes later Sigrid crawled into the bed and then let out a hearty belch.

I have not had fruits of the forest yoghurt muesli since.

Antidote

Of course the most brilliant medicines can't be produced. I am already suspecting that they have a cure for the most horrid things, that science already have been victorious against - but we still have to suffer with. Imagine if there was a cure against getting pregnant, haha, everyone would just run around and have sex all the time, everywhere! ...

Forgetfulness! I'm sure there is an academic way of being reminded and remember everything, but if people started using this all the time, we wouldn't be using our head on our own - so we'd be helpless without it. Even though it would be a great invention, that many people would be grateful for, and that maybe could help make our planet a better place to be. The disaster that would occur if something happened, and we wouldn't be able to get hold of it anymore is inconcieveable.

Think if there was an antidote to smoking, or drug-addiction, even to caffeine and sugar-holics. This might already excist you know, but then what would we learn from our abuse? We'd just quit, then go back at it if we liked to, because there was always away out of it again. We wouldn't learn anything about our past mistakes, we could twist our course of life, help a lot of people who need to get out of their condition. But man is way too selfish for such a tool, something so powerful, we have the statistics against us. Again. We'd abuse it just like a drug.

Imagine there was a cure against being hungover! The damage would never end! People would drink the rivers dry, and hand in their livers way before they became of age! It would be madness to publish a discovery like that. Mankind isn't made for these temptations, and the punishments have to be hard, or else we wont be able to control ourselves.
Then perhaps I am being too negative here, maybe we could in fact handle it, there's a chance.
But I don't honestly believe it myself, at least not until I see it!
3

Lean a little bit closer, see?

Yes, so today I was in court. I don't think I was sober before atleast an hour in to the trial, which was a bad thing - seeing food & drink is banned during the session, I could feel my condition swell up inside me without being able to hold it down by drinking or eating.
And as I sat there, sick, tired, in horrible, undescribable disgusted pain - I wondered what kind of crossdressing clever otter-trucker had managed to dress up an entire profession in drag - without them noticing. What an amazing accomplishment. For those who have set themselves such goals. Though, honest - what a genius idea.

I can picture the lads standing in front of a mirror wearing powdered wigs, and black, puff*-sleeved dresses - admiring their own buttocks - going, with considerable contemplation:
"Hmmm... Yes, I guess I do realize I look very much like my own aunt in my uncles funeral... But, b-but this certainly looks like nothing from the Frippery. Hmm - you know what? Do you know what...? Actually, it makes my behind look dih-vine!"

Didn't really notice any behinds during the session, but people are really conscious about the way their end is displayed, so it must've been something like that which actually convinced them in the end. Oh, and considering my own, sorry state - the notorious shivering and the dreadful need for washing my intestines in chlorine slowly vapourized. I inhaled a bottle of water and things felt a lot better.

* Clever, clever. I see what you did there.
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