Oslo Expansion Pack

"Barcode" in Bjørvika, a series of new buildings, both office space and apartments in Oslo.

"Nordenga" bridge, crossing the railway from Bjørvika to Grønland.

"Tjuvholmen" at the very tip of Aker Brygge.

"Kværnerbyen" apartments (that's the creek with stepping stones! I'll have to take a picture myself it seems).

Oslo is halfway in many aspects. We have half a good public transport system, we have half of a good shopping centre, we have a half a green city with parks in it, half of it is dead ends and half is shabby. At one intersection down the street - the road is lined with four different kinds of fences. It never seem to have occurred to anybody to build this city consistently, new bits are just being slapped on without much thought to what was there before, or what surrounds it.

Just like those new blocks that are across our street. They're all modern and square, painted in a communal barn-colour - with as much charisma as a car crash. There are lots of ugly blocks here, including ours, so to say, and they're surrounded by all those delicious wooden houses that are traditional of this area. Some blocks are really nice, and have been done up really well, but most are no. It's all over "old-town", and it's weird that they haven't been able to find some kind of middle-way between unflattering modernism and impractical nostalgia. It just looks weird and half-assed.

Major parts are under construction, and the bits that are not are often quite messy or unfinished as it is. Helge and I took a walk down to Kværnerbyen the other night (literally, night. We were home at 4 in the morning) just to look at the apartments down there. Kværnerbyen is literally a ditch, seriously, it's down in some dent, surrounded by hills, and filled with lots of concrete and roads and trains. It hasn't got a lot of appeal in other words.

The apartments are just blocks of brick, set in concrete - hardly very charming. But then it's not finished yet - and the renderings online look as usual very promising. How they are going to turn the place into what they are imaging I don't really understand. But that's the way with these sexy architectural illustrations, they always contain about twice the amount of trees and happy children to what will eventually exist. There was, however, one nice thing about the area, a constructed creek of water with square stepping stones that went along the east side of the buildings. This sizzled magically, especially at night, when it was so quiet elsewhere. So I really fell in love with that, but the rest still needs a spark of allure - it's hardly very homely there at the moment.

Oslo is really changing though, the buildings along Bjørvika are all really futuristic, so are those on Tjuvholmen. The massive bridge ending in Schweigaardsgate, "Nordenga" is anything but Norwegian, and the new Nationalmuseum at Vestbanehallen will be very modern too. It's called the "Forum Artis", I would tell you what I think of it, but it's really hard to tell from those crappy renders they have released, it does as far as I can tell - look square and angular, so I guess that's why we're going for it. As usual.

But I will stop whining now, sorry. I really hope Oslo will be more whole one day, as it is oddly unfinished right now. We are lucky to have some visionaries who are at least trying to create something better out of what we already have, especially in Bjørvika.

DUGNAD!

One of the truly Norwegian traditions that are still upheld today, is the spirit of "dugnad".

And I am a little surprised I haven't mentioned all this before, as it is a significant part of our national identity. It's all really selfless and philanthropic, maybe with a small pinch of communism stirred in with it honestly - and a very good indication of how Norwegians like to see themselves.

Dugnad is unpaid labour done for the cause of the community or an individual. Sports clubs usually have them, so all the soccer mums have to rake the field or sell waffles to buy more balls, or whatever the sport club can benefit from. It is also common that apartment blocks have dugnads, and they usually mean raking dead leaves, hosing, planting new shrubs, washing, clearing - whatever, in the good spirit of working together. AND, I left this for last, it is obviously closely linked to our national day on May 17th.

Because it is in this good humoured, giving spirit that we pick up cigarette butts and dog poop unveiled by the melted snow - to make sure our homeland and homes look their best for our celebration. And this is I guess just like the tradition of spring cleaning. (Cleaning the house after the winter to prepare it for summer) and so it is really logical. I suppose that it is different here, because I have heard from other countries that people hire other people to do these things, or host a fancy fundraiser or simply just donate money so they don't have to bother with it in person. And I suppose that's a lot easier and also probably way more convenient -  maybe even quicker! But if a simple Norwegian can't invite his neighbours for a dugnad around the neighbourhood - what have happened to our country and our people?

I know we all hate them, deep down, we despise them. We hate them for all the reasons there are - like, "this is awful, and I'm not even getting paid to do it!" Or, "this was a really good idea, why didn't I think of it first?! I am more of a Norwegian than that pompous bitch!" Or perhaps even, "oh so he thinks he can just dibs the lawnmower and that means he doesn't have to climb the apple trees to cut them? EH? I'll show him." Right. And some host a barbecue and bake cakes without telling anyone so they can't help them bake and cook - so they can take all the credit for themselves.

So there are just a select few who just instantly ignite when they hear the word dugnad (of enthusiasm, it is frightening). So for that reason dugnads are a Sunday thing - even though we are a Christian country (on paper) and God has clearly stated several times we ain't to work on Sundays. We bypassed this some time ago, probably by adding "paid" to "work", which was very convenient for the crazy curly people who love to do something for the community. So they wouldn't feel so bad about torturing the common man to get up, go outside and rake until he's bled dry on church day.

Dugnad is a nice tradition, and I hope we never stop having it. I know we hate it and we never make the best of it. But at least we can pretend like we are doing it from the heart, and not because we don't want to be sneered at by the mailboxes.

A picture!

Oslo by day from Kampen

Snoodle snoodle

So what else is new? I can't wait to go to Singapore to visit Sigrid, I'm most excited. At the same time it appears I will have my hands full until then, Got some pretty massive assignments to do at school.

Do other people elsewhere in the world eat their bread with smoked mackerel or are we just plain weird here? If you don't, I can't blame you - it makes your burps taste funny.

It's snowing again, despite the fact that the weather on Sunday was delicious in every way, went for a walk aaaall the way to Kampen and looked at the beautiful old houses. (It's not really that much of a distance, but it's uphill all the way!) Of course I didn't bring my camera, but you know I'm kind of useless. At least it was very pretty bathed in sunlight and all the icicles massive and dangerous looming over the sidewalk - dripping conspiratorially.

There were people everywhere! Well, in a Norwegian way, so not crowded or anything. But people were skiing up around the church under the old trees, and both icerinks were covered in stiffly sliding children flapping their arms not to fall. It was a nice day, a very different take on Oslo from what I'm used to. I've always thought of Oslo as a tasteless, semi-soviet city of concrete and chewing gum. But the old part of town in which I currently live - there are so many adorable, brightly coloured wooden houses snuck together, it looks unreal, like Disneyland. Obviously we live in one of those concrete monsters, but you can't win every time. I'll bring the camera next time though, and show you!

I got this dragon for Christmas, that my dad brought aaall the way from Australia, and you can put a candle in it, so it looks great in the dark. Bleuhrg, mackerel. I better go drink some Biola to make it go away.

Please save us

I don't know how many posts I'm going to devote to how shit most part of you lot are at commenting, because you really are. One thing I DO know however, is that this isn't going to be one of those posts.

We are in desperate need of sorbet. The Norwegian community is now reaching out to the world in a plea for some proper icily refreshing fruit sorbet. It is not that we can't get it anywhere, it is just that the (may I add) few, scarce places it is obtainable the sorbet will cost us and possibly foodpoison us. (Please keep in mind that I may be exaggerating just a little, but that the cause still do remain of utter importance).

You see, Norwegians are good at many things. Though when it comes to how good we are at food it is generally our dairy products that really outshine everybody elses. Really, we make the most sexy milk chocolate (snaps perfectly, not too sweet, melts just right, basically a complete chocogasm), fantastic cheese (you may have heard of the Jarlsberg), thick, fruitilicious yoghurts, awesome waffles and magical ice cream. BUT. I say but because I have to make it seem like a drawback; we're only brilliant with dairy based ice cream. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry - you know, the basic ones (oh, and the creamy lemon one). We're really spectacular with them.

But sorbets :( No, we aren't actually very good with sorbets. Most Deli de Luca's in Oslo have an assortment of ice cream that is quite impressive, but we had some last night and I can't say I was enchanted by it. We've yet got such a lo0ng way to go before we're near central european standards of delish sorbet. REALLY.

Please, someone has to help us. Somebody do something!
I might cry.

Brush up your language, boy

I just downloaded a custom brush plugin for Paint.NET and over 200 brushes which is quite SNAZZY if I might say so myself. I know I really should be drawing in photoshop, but the primitive tools in Paint.NET makes it so much more challenging! I don't want everything to "look nice" because of well-written, expensive software, I want my technique and "skill" to be what makes the images come together, not a garbazillion* blend effects. Right? Do it the hard way! I think maybe struggling with the basics will give me a better chance at accomplishing more complex imagery when the time is right. Yesyes!

The weather's been reeally nice lately, except of course from yesterday when it was raining like cheese and crackers. In other news our newest family member Ulla is slowly getting the rhythm of this joint by calming the frutz** down, which is about time. She's got so much energy and she's always bouncing about like a deer havin' had her cocktail spiked. We bathed her and she looked just like a closely shaved sheep, like Shaun. I can't wait for summer and revising for exams is so boring I don't think I am able to emphasize the boreditty*** or dangerously dull potential it has. Really.

I like playing around with language, even though I will be accused for destroying it in the end. But that doesn't really matter really, as long as I don't have to take a swim in the ocean yet. Brrr! Which reminds me that we all have to squeeze ourselves into bikini's any time now, which is really half (past) eight****, if you know what I mean. Yeah you do. Now look what I did today!

Before: (Just the basic outline and text)

After: (the background I cheated using blurs and tiles - but no cheat brushes!)

* This is not a real measurable amount.

** Frutz is a Norwegian ice-cream made of fruits, but it sounds like a skin-condition (Sorry, I can't make it, I got frutz all over me eyelids), so I use it as a cuss-word.

*** This isn't a word.

**** This means that something is in poor shape, or looks a little down, 08:30 is appointed time for shabbididitty*****

***** NO.

I don't like you!

I think Norway kind of overloaded as we won the Eurovision songcontest on the very night before our national day. Everyone were running around in the streets screaming, singing "Fairytale". On my way (running) late for work today, I heard it thump out of a taxi window. And on May 17th everyone we're just so excited that they almost talked to strangers. Which is extremely rare up here, we pretty much stick to our own.

The only exception is on May 17th, because nothing is such a grand display of unity and of loving thy neighbour as the disgusting behaviour of Norwegians on May 17th. It's almost unappetizing. But being a reflected young woman, being influenced by other cultures and lifestyles through the wonders of globalization I manage to realize that perhaps the warm and hearty approach we have to strangers on this exceptional day - should be how we always behave towards each other. We could obviously skip a couple of the overly gooey gestures, but keep the concept at least, of being pleasant to things we're unfamiliar with.

We can't exactly hide the fact that our "civilized" population ia absolutely packed with prejudices. Particularly racism. I don't think it shines through very clearly a lot of the time because the topic is so extremely taboo, and everyone are being so meticulous about disguising it as being racist is considered medieval and primitive - which is true, obviously.

It's just that some types of racism is difficult to cloak, Norwegians hate strangers, we really do. I wont say we are abnormally paranoid or hostile, it's just that we're so evasive. We avoid confrontations, just like we're avoiding the problem at hand. We wont trust anyone with anything, but if we do as an exception, we wont hesitate to say "I told you so" if it goes wrong. We get along with our neighbours just because we have to. And we're also positively the first to break out a prejudicive remark or crack a joke on the topic. It comes extremely natural to us, perhaps a little bit too much.

I'm not saying we're all like that, an extraordinary lot of us are enjoying the variety of people, food, music, work, art or whatnot that is brought to us from other cultures and adopted by our own. I wonder how often a Norwegian haves taco, or stir fry, or chicken tikka masala or even just kebab without actually considering how lucky we are to be able to enjoy this delighful variety of foods - and why. Well hello you, I tell you something - your grandpa sure as hell didn't dig the chicken tikka out of the ground at his classical Norwegian farm. This topic is actually quite hard to write about, because it's so moronically unlogical.

But anyway, a japanese couple came into the shop and bought a lot of cutlery from me, they were so joyous that they gave me a piece of chocolate before they left! Thank you!

Took this by the river. Norway is pretty in the spring. No?

Happy work tiemz

It's been a delightfully busy day today. Not too long queues, people have been reasonably pleasant and the weather is quite nice (I think). Shop across the hall is actually not playing disgusting RnB, hiphop-pop, but chill-out jazz. It's nice as a variation, at least. Tomorrow is May 17th. And as everyone here would already know, it's the 137th day of the year - AND the national day of Norway.

So, naturally - we'll all be "walking in trains" meaning; having parades and waving our flag and being really nationalistic. In addition we'll eat a lot of ice cream, sausages, cake and potentially strawberries. Needless to say, it's a good day to be Norwegian.

I giggled at the ingredient list of my Innocent Blueberry, Pomme Granate & Acai smoothie, too, it went like this:

76 Grapes
2 1/2 Bananas
1 1/2 Pomme granates
2 Oranges
160 Blueberries
100 Acai berries
A little lemon juice
No trumpets


No trumpets? We'll I'd flippin hope not! Happy May 17th you bubbly little jaccuzzi fizzer.

About today

Ulrik was here for lunch, hope he catches his plane - because we got kind of extremely carried away with the eating, so he had to run out the door. Good times. Today I am going to work, then I am going to meet with Helge and hopefully we'll do something awesome. Yay!

I feel like I need to get back into a good rhythm again, I know I complained about everything feeling like a repetitive pattern (and that's not what I mean) seriously, I hated that. But right now it's like I'm not even touching the ground, the easter holiday just launched me into a wayload of relaxing and chilling and having a great time in general, so now I better shape up and get things done. Like I really need to tidy up in here, it looks awful. There's clutter everywhere. You know what? I think I'm going to finish this random gush of uninteresting information and tidy up instead. Here, take this random scenery picture I took in Molde instead. Thank you. I like showing off on how beautiful Norway is.

Now I'm going to eat your brain and gain your knowledge.

Haha

Sigrid sent me this!

Drink!

Don't forget Earth Hour today at 8:30 p.m. (your own local time!)

Today I've had almost an entire carton of Innocent mango and passionfruit smoothie - though Suzanne had a little bit too. I think smoothie might be one of the best things ever, seriously. It's so incredibly delicious and this one was so thick it was almost creamy (like Bailey's - mm, creamy!) but i mean there are loads of things that are nice to drink.

-- Like ice-cold Norwegian tap water! Mm! Seriously, it's possibly the best beverage out there. In a way it is almost worth it to visit Norway just to have a nice big, dewy glass of refreshing tap water. Yum. We have the best water in the world.

The texture and appearance of water has actually always fascinated me. It's so weird that something so powerful and heavy can be see-through like air - or that it can smell like nothing, and feel so different depending on the temperature of it. Oh! And that it can be hard as ice, soft like snow or just untagible as steam! Also I love the sound of running water, the light tinkling and the calm rythm of it - or the sound of it being poured out of a bottle in glugs. That's such a wonderful sound!

The thing about drinks is that it has (just like food) developed from being just thirst-quenchers - actually some have even completely deranged from being so - to become symbols of social status, objects of fashion - reflecting our inner self. When "Sex & The City" hit its peak - everybody drunk cosmopolitan. Or when Bond in "Casino Royale" differed from his usual choice of shaken martini and ordered a new drink (called a Vesper). Which according to the film is made like this: "Three measures of Gordon's (gin), one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel". - The sales figures for Kina Lillet shot through the roof.

It is no longer considered high fashion to drink Coca Cola, in some circumstances I bet it's even looked down upon (not where I hang out). What's in the 'now', then? Organic? Without additives? One of your 'five a day'? No, wait, it's 'good for you' - isn't it? Silly? Yes I think so. But it is ever so much part of our life as consumers as of any other aspect of our lifestyle. We always do unhealthy things to our body - eat things we know are not good for us - smoke, drink alcohol, vanity surgery, you know. It's not necessarily because the brands and manufacturers are shouting at us from every angle, or that we do it because we know it'a unhealthy - right? We (in most part, I would think) do these things because it tastes good, or makes us feel good.

And we allow ourselves to be manipulated on this part, like I would buy almost anything that looks good, I know that - I'm weak. We like to be surrounded by things that please us, it's only natural. What surprises me then - is that people would make their choice out of guilt. Choose the sugar free alternative "even though it doesn't taste as good" or buy the organic option "despite the fact that the colour is a bit off". Like, hey! What happened? We should be responsible, I really think that we should. We should take adult decisions that reflect what we think is the mature, sustainable thing to do. We should not be made puppets of the average opinion, and live life based on what others tell us to do. Organic products aren't even good for the environment - least of all sustainable! We should rather choose because we - ourselves - truly believe it is the right thing to do by our own, free will. And this is hard, because we are subconciously brainwashed by the opinions of 'the world in general'. So what is the right choice then?

If we think the unhealthy option is right, then just chooce this treat less often, and rather do and eat, wear and drink the things we really like without feeling bad about it. Nothing makes life worth living like a bit of sin in between all the good-doing. And that's because life is just like a box of chocolates, by each bite we get fatter and fatter, but we still drink Bailey's - because it's mMm, creamy!

Vorspiel

The term Vorspiel is derived directly from the German word "vorspiel" (yes, I did say directly) meaning foreplay (actually) so it is misinterpretated. It is a Nordic term (widely used in Norway as just "vors" (pronounced "Fores")) for pre-party. 

The vorspiel is the opposite thing of an after-party (naschpiel/nasch). A gathering of the people going out (or to a party (usually not too many people)) getting suitably drunk together. A vors is  usually held at a private place, like hiding in your parents bathroom with your parents stolen liqour at the age of 14, in a roundabout by the gas station with a couple of ciders at 16, in a comfortable basement with some beer and punch at 18, in your friends new condo with a short black dress and champagne at 20 - I guess. A vorspiel can be anything. Elin and I usually have make-up vorspiels, we show up raggedy and play loud, brilliant music while getting dressed, sipping some battery or red bull and putting make-up on. It's great, really.

Vorspiel is so common in Norway because going out is so incredibly expensive. Alcohol in general is - but especially out on the town, so getting drunk before you go to the actual party or club or concert has proven economic and praises the works of Darwin. There's almost always some chick too drunk to ever leave the vorspiel at all, which keeps the weakest off the market - unless their friends are significantly strong and/or determined, obviously. 

This is an important factor to scandinavian nightlife and so a major thing to most Norwegians, which is why I thought you should know! But if you still don't understand, I'll give it to you in pictures:

Naschpiel: (After-Party, look - it's morning already!)

Vorspiel: (Pre-Party, though this is actually THE party, but you get my point)

See the difference?

Opportunities

I wonder how often we end up doing something by choice - only later to get that pressing feeling that "it all just happened so fast". Our perception of a situation definitely changes over time. I know of a moment I have felt like a complete idiot - in retrospect I have replayed every annoying second over and over in my head - but when I have mentioned that particular idiotic situation later, I have been praised for my actions. Gah! I know! We poison our own memory, don't we?

We are too hard on ourselves. Especially Norwegians I'd say. We often get complexes on how we appear to others because standing out of the crowd isn't considered "safe". We got shops here called "Blend" - because to blend in is a good thing. We undermine our ability to be unique (both in appearance) and in qualities. We think we have to be good at everything and look like a supermodel. The result is that we get depressed on how average we look and our skills seem - because we don't ace every subject and get laid every fortnight. That's because people aren't like that, we're bound to be restricted in some areas because we're not wonderwoman! (Not all of us, Sigrid). And it may sound like an excuse to underachieve - but actually it should rather be an inspiration to really gleam and be confident about the things we know how to do.

If Norwegians got better at clearing their (our) throat and step up and show what they (we) can do - well, I am sure at least some Americans would feel momentarily impressed, even intimidated. And even though being confident is often misconcepted as being supercilious and arrogant - there's a middle way. It is actually possible to act like you know what you're doing in a convincing and enriching way without being a bitch about it.

We let opportunities slip by "so quickly" I think, because we think it is wrong to be better than others. What truly is wrong though, is to be as bad as everyone else. So don't let yourself be kept down in fear of people raising their brow at you, especially not if you are going to hate yourself for it later.

It's a TRAP!

I'm listening to Keane and it's all sunny and getting warmer and the other students are saying how lovely it is that they get to be wearing their summer shoes at last. It's still a little windy, but the snow is melting away like marshmellow in your cocoa (even though there are literally mountains of snow left in every blind alley in town). Before I make my stance I beg you to understand as I have to clarify exactly how important it is that you don't misunderstand my statements as being pessimistic on this matter. I am here talking from months, years, decades of experience on the Norwegian weather - it is not some attempt to be a grinch of summer or simply a "better-knowing" killjoy. So forgive me. But I am telling you now, in truth - I can bet my own snot on it: it's not spring.

It's a lie. It's a bluff. It is mother nature's sick, twisted sense of humour that has once again(!) tried/managed to convince us all that the long, cold winter is over. Don't fall for it please, dearest -- as you will only be disappointed. Sure it may seem warm and spring-like, and a few girls might whip their bosoms into something smaller, and flick their hair in a teasing manner. But more snow will fall, more cold will come. The only brightness we may allow ourselves to put faith in is the sunlight, and that the days will remain lighter, as they are now. Don't refrain yourself from staying positive for my sake, just when May comes and the snowflakes are dancing on your car; remember that I told you so.

Ice ice baby

It is taking a hilarious amount of time to clear the streets of Oslo of snow. It has been snowing heaps and loads and there's still abundances in the streets. In addition it's been down to -16 C here. I beg to differ - I must insist that it must've been colder at some point, but according to the weather database http://www.yr.no/ - the coldest day in Oslo the last 30 days was February 12th (at -16 C). Obviously it's been way colder in northern Norway where the current record is around -34 C on February 8th in Karasjok. Brrr!

Despite a few erratic blinks of sunlight that have caused some snow to melt - it has pretty much been freezing for months. The problem with this is of course that the amounts of melted snow turns into ice and the streets into slippery slides of death. Now take this shiny, black layer of cold death and sift a thin layer of dry, white snow over it - the result is teeth crushing and cranium bashing. Really. It is so dangerous. Not to mention the icicles that hang like piercing, frozen needles above the sidewalks - ready to split a face in two. Just a few days ago a woman was actually struck by one and was sent to the hospital. She got away with a lesser cut in her head, and was luckily not seriously damaged. Firemen are clearing roofs of icicles and snow - meanwhile, most of the snowed down sidewalks are secured and therefore only half their usual width.

I saw the icecream van today. Isbilen.
And I wonder what on earth it is doing here.

ice ice ice

It's so slippery outside. I'm sliding around like a ragdoll.

I'm hungry and I want to eat something. Like lefse, namnam. All my muscles are sore from yesterday, because I was working out. I'm writing on AGXH-3 again (my NaNoWriMo from 2008) and it's working out quite well I think, I hope. I introduced a new character, the character Steven, a female space-poodle. Actually I was inspired by my stepdad. It was his idea to give a male name to a female animal. I don't know why I think that's so funny, but for some reason it really is.

Mimimimiii!

Time fly! Smile!

It's a nice morning in many ways, it is quite enticing and light outside, even though it is still early, and still undoubtfully winter. We are all eagerly anticipating spring - with such a naive spirit I suppose, it might seem we are not fully believing it will ever come. Norwegians do this a lot I think, we all like to think about better times ahead - and we helplessly forget the good time we should be trying to have right now.

When I move out I want to have my own place, just a roof over my head that I can shape into whatever I want. A place where I am free to break all rules of regular housekeeping, not by the means of neglecting housework or keeping it untidy. That I have to wear a cauldron over my head because the items in my fridge are celebrating the anniversary of their expiry date in a loud fashion. --I mean break the real basic rules, like not having identical plates or cups, have an own cupboard just for glitter, christmas lights all year round - store the sugar in a jewellery box. If more people found general happiness in such things as these, maybe they wouldn't be bombing themselves and each other to bits all the time. But then a lot of the reason for conflict is that so many people are unable to mess around with basic rules - because they have nothing to mess around with. No home or no family.

It annoys me how much I live for the sake of tomorrow. Always preparing or expecting something that is to come - oblivious to what that is here and now. Such ungratefulness to complain about what we have to save up for - or what hardship lies ahead, when we at least can reasonably expect to live until that day comes. Time flies! Remember to put a smile on somebody's face today! Because ultimately - you live a good life when you catch yourself smiling often, and find that others smile in return.

Spam and hair

Do any of you get those spam-letters from Danish-sex-short stories.dk? I'm just asking, for no particular reason. Or, because I get them on my hotmail sometimes. I think the correct address is danskesexnoveller.dk, or something, you can't really be sure with those danes. (To make it more confusing, the word for short story is "novelle" in Norwegian and in Danish).

It's hard to describe exactly how much fun it is to read the descriptions on those e-mails, because you've had to have heard Danish to understand what massive comedy potential it has. Everything sounds funny in Danish, I'm sure you could tell me I've got terminal herpes in Danish and I'd still laugh my ass off. I think erotic short stories has a lot of comedy potential in themselves actually, and then imagine them in Danish. Aaah, just the thought makes me laugh.

If I find one in my inbox again, I'll be sure to let you know. and maybe I'll dare to read it just to make my day. In other news - the Russian hairdresser that I pass on my way to school is always styling a wig whenever there's no customers there. And when I passed him the other morning - he had two customers, looked like mother and daughter. But the interesting thing here was that they all had the same haircut. The hairdresser, the mother, the daughter and the wig. They looked a bit like medevial troubadours. I wonder if they will go touring.

(I drew that sheep in paint, by the way. But it's all true, they cover it up, but it's the truth)

It's a TRAP

I was just thinking because today is a rainy day and that’s really depressing because there used to be snow and now all there is left is kind of a cold, lumpy slush that’s salty and slippery with blackened corners of pollution spread around over the rotten leaves. And I’m thinking like – what’s this supposed to mean, right? I mean, I thought I lived in Norway for a reason, isn’t there supposed to be snow? I mean what is going on? There has to be some kind of guarantee. Like when I was born it came with my birth certificate like “You know hi and thanks for coming out, this is Norway all very nice, hope you were born with skis on because that’s how we shake it here. On your arrival we’ll guarantee you a lifetime of white Christmases, expensive public transport, no drinking liquor ‘til you’re at least 20 and when the first snow falls everybody will panic as if it hasn’t been snowing here for the last ten gazillion years. Yours truly, the Norwegian government”. I rummaged through all my drawers and pulled out everything I could find but it was all just drawings of happy homes and snowmen and other things I remember jotting down carelessly with a bit of oil paint on canvas as a mere infant and I thought – man. Dude, they have removed the evidence!
On the other hand I think maybe I was having a bit of a trip there because I honestly can’t remember using any oil paint during my childhood.

Axolotl and the rain

All the snow is raining away today, like expected. But it was a good thing that we got a lot of snow as a warning for winter. Because as usual everybody are totally unprepared for snow. Cars and people sliding about on the ice just like Bambi, and whining about how cold it is.

But now we have got a taste of winter, people will recall what snow is like every year, and so we have some time to unpack our giant coats, the boots, the hats, the mittens and the spiky tyres, right? I blew my nose in a napkin, but it was full of cinnamon, now my head feels weird.


For some reason I ended up looking at pictures of Mudkips today, and randomly I cam across this creature called Axolotl. I didn't even know there was a creature named Axolotl. But I like it. It is on the brink of extinction though, but I hope it survives. It looks nice, doesn't it? It has a friendly face.