Ex-ham

Many hams live in our modern society, everything from roasted ham with mustard, to christmas ham, parma ham or traditional Norwegian cured ham live alongside us every day. In the name of fine cut pork rump - they have delighted and enriched our primitive cultures for hundreds of years, helping us become civilized and fantastic. Needless to say, the human to ham ratio is a tranquil and beautiful symbiosis. In fact, this is one of the finest examples of how food and mankind can collaborate and recreate peacefully in the name of love.

But of late our once very bright and shiny lifestyle has been increasingly threatened by dark, looming clouds. Statistics reveal that over 19,5% of teen hams suffer from various types of either reactive- or endogenous depression or bipolar disorder, while a shocking amount of 36% of fully cured hams bear the same symptoms. A common result of this is that hundreds of hams each year simply stop being hams altogether.

Those who stop being hams are known as "ex-hams", while they aren't always sneered upon - it is common that even the most persistent ham is never able to return to a normal life. This is known as "hamlessness". Most ham societies reject their hamless and leave it upon us humans to pick up the sorry rests of them.

By the heart and eager of many charity organizations most hamless are emitted into a "Help the Hamless" program where they are given a new home and a shoulder to cry on. But despite the kindness of many merciful souls, millions of "hamless" or "ex-hams" still linger helplessly in the dark alleys and streets of our cities. The depressive state and feeling of hopelessness that the ex-hams are going through is similar to that of what millions of students suffer each year - of which we have derived the term "Ex-am", or "Examination".

You should because of that not be surprised by the suicide rate of hamless hams, and how this indirectly results in deceitful curriculums that change overnight, angry old teachers that rolls dice to determine your grade - or simply the fact that it will be beautiful and sunny and everyone but you will have fun for the entire duration of your revising period. This terrible commotion is usually topped with an awful gnawing feeling in your stomach and an increased lust for ham, or more commonly - bacon. While as this does sound terrible.

At least, you're not dead.

Good luck with your exams everyone!

The Darkness

It's out of the dark - literally and actually in every sense - as the sun is now engulfing our lives with remarkable persistence. Spring is actually quite nice, I think - not the best time of the year as it is quite undecisive, spring. It really is. One day it snows, one day it's sunny. Cold in the morning, warm in the afternoon. But not quite warm enough. But either way, as we shed the winter fur and allow ourselves to be warm by other means once more - it is time to do springtime things like we did it as kids. You know.

Be baffled by chirping birds, a peeing dog, a passing taxi, a nice looking pebble. Eat grapes until you get a rash on your belly, skin your knee while failing at climbing a tree. Pick some dandelions and have sticky, bitter-tasting fingers all day. Stumble in your own velcro-kicks and play with spilt oil in a puddle, using a stick - pretending to be the weather man. Sing a song you don't really know, but that made sense when you were mixing the mud with the sand in the broken bucket. Hit some kid over the head with a small book about piglets and yes and no.

Kick a ball but fall on your behind. Have sand in your pockets, and wave at the school children. Put a snail in your mouth and run to your sister saying "WRRBbllgraaahahhGrgghbbl!" Try spitting farther than the boys. Drink from a cup using both hands while actually being too excited to have time to drink. Run like you have a condition with your pelvis and the coordination of a mangled action-man.

This is how we used to live, as children. Remember?

I dare you.

It'll be the best springtime ever. 

(picture of the sky - for you particularly slow ones. I took the other day).

Sacrifices

I'm not a winter person, really - I'm a summer girl! I do love playing in the snow, snowboarding or watching the beauty of Norwegian nature during the winter, but I can't say I am partial to it. Everything just takes so long in the winter. Dressing up in enough clothes to go outside, waiting for daylight, trying to get warm again after coming inside. Just walking short distances is time consuming because you are weighed down by layers and layers, even your layers have layers -- and heavy boots, and there's lots of snow and ice in the way so it's hard to move around as you like. 

But when summer comes and you can wear as little as you want without being too cold, and you are free to run about and play in the sunlight below the flourishing, green trees -- the whole of you becomes visible. Skin. Right? And so a lot of people are right now facing springtime with horror because we can't cover ourselves up the same way as in winter. We have to tighten up that slack skin, or lose those extra pairs of lovehandles and the extra chins. Right?

So we have to start sacrificing. No more pop, no more toffee, no more crisps - no more snap n' crackle, no more cake. More celery, more grapefruit, more light yoghurt, more water and more flavourless crackers with cottage cheese is what awaits us all. Including many dreadful hours of sweating on a treadmill, wishing we could rather sit and watch The Mighty Boosh and eat carrot cake to our hearts content. It is hard to sacrifice, and I don't think any of us live long enough to deserve it, or having to endure it. But in a way it is almost harder not to - as we will know we'll look like a whale and everyone else will look like slender nymphs when summer comes.

Drink!

Don't forget Earth Hour today at 8:30 p.m. (your own local time!)

Today I've had almost an entire carton of Innocent mango and passionfruit smoothie - though Suzanne had a little bit too. I think smoothie might be one of the best things ever, seriously. It's so incredibly delicious and this one was so thick it was almost creamy (like Bailey's - mm, creamy!) but i mean there are loads of things that are nice to drink.

-- Like ice-cold Norwegian tap water! Mm! Seriously, it's possibly the best beverage out there. In a way it is almost worth it to visit Norway just to have a nice big, dewy glass of refreshing tap water. Yum. We have the best water in the world.

The texture and appearance of water has actually always fascinated me. It's so weird that something so powerful and heavy can be see-through like air - or that it can smell like nothing, and feel so different depending on the temperature of it. Oh! And that it can be hard as ice, soft like snow or just untagible as steam! Also I love the sound of running water, the light tinkling and the calm rythm of it - or the sound of it being poured out of a bottle in glugs. That's such a wonderful sound!

The thing about drinks is that it has (just like food) developed from being just thirst-quenchers - actually some have even completely deranged from being so - to become symbols of social status, objects of fashion - reflecting our inner self. When "Sex & The City" hit its peak - everybody drunk cosmopolitan. Or when Bond in "Casino Royale" differed from his usual choice of shaken martini and ordered a new drink (called a Vesper). Which according to the film is made like this: "Three measures of Gordon's (gin), one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel". - The sales figures for Kina Lillet shot through the roof.

It is no longer considered high fashion to drink Coca Cola, in some circumstances I bet it's even looked down upon (not where I hang out). What's in the 'now', then? Organic? Without additives? One of your 'five a day'? No, wait, it's 'good for you' - isn't it? Silly? Yes I think so. But it is ever so much part of our life as consumers as of any other aspect of our lifestyle. We always do unhealthy things to our body - eat things we know are not good for us - smoke, drink alcohol, vanity surgery, you know. It's not necessarily because the brands and manufacturers are shouting at us from every angle, or that we do it because we know it'a unhealthy - right? We (in most part, I would think) do these things because it tastes good, or makes us feel good.

And we allow ourselves to be manipulated on this part, like I would buy almost anything that looks good, I know that - I'm weak. We like to be surrounded by things that please us, it's only natural. What surprises me then - is that people would make their choice out of guilt. Choose the sugar free alternative "even though it doesn't taste as good" or buy the organic option "despite the fact that the colour is a bit off". Like, hey! What happened? We should be responsible, I really think that we should. We should take adult decisions that reflect what we think is the mature, sustainable thing to do. We should not be made puppets of the average opinion, and live life based on what others tell us to do. Organic products aren't even good for the environment - least of all sustainable! We should rather choose because we - ourselves - truly believe it is the right thing to do by our own, free will. And this is hard, because we are subconciously brainwashed by the opinions of 'the world in general'. So what is the right choice then?

If we think the unhealthy option is right, then just chooce this treat less often, and rather do and eat, wear and drink the things we really like without feeling bad about it. Nothing makes life worth living like a bit of sin in between all the good-doing. And that's because life is just like a box of chocolates, by each bite we get fatter and fatter, but we still drink Bailey's - because it's mMm, creamy!

Ice ice baby

It is taking a hilarious amount of time to clear the streets of Oslo of snow. It has been snowing heaps and loads and there's still abundances in the streets. In addition it's been down to -16 C here. I beg to differ - I must insist that it must've been colder at some point, but according to the weather database http://www.yr.no/ - the coldest day in Oslo the last 30 days was February 12th (at -16 C). Obviously it's been way colder in northern Norway where the current record is around -34 C on February 8th in Karasjok. Brrr!

Despite a few erratic blinks of sunlight that have caused some snow to melt - it has pretty much been freezing for months. The problem with this is of course that the amounts of melted snow turns into ice and the streets into slippery slides of death. Now take this shiny, black layer of cold death and sift a thin layer of dry, white snow over it - the result is teeth crushing and cranium bashing. Really. It is so dangerous. Not to mention the icicles that hang like piercing, frozen needles above the sidewalks - ready to split a face in two. Just a few days ago a woman was actually struck by one and was sent to the hospital. She got away with a lesser cut in her head, and was luckily not seriously damaged. Firemen are clearing roofs of icicles and snow - meanwhile, most of the snowed down sidewalks are secured and therefore only half their usual width.

I saw the icecream van today. Isbilen.
And I wonder what on earth it is doing here.

Curiosity

Oh please, I know I am always told that I defend my own laziness when criticizing something. But I was just standing around, looking at people passing me when I realized why I in real life find skinny women to be uninteresting. Let me allow myself to semi base this on the song "Me and My Imagination" by Sophie Ellis Baxtor. Because even though it is not the same point she is confronting - I am going to write about something down the same alley at least.

Skinny, thin women - longlegged, wide-eyed - with high, sharp cheekbones; they look great. They look great in photographs, in expensive dresses, they look great in a film or in a music video - light and fragile like starved birds. I have always found beauty in the human skeleton, I have, really - it is fascinating and wondeful like a cathedral, a praise to God in its architechtural genius.

But in reality. In reality there is nothing unsolved or mysterious in skin and bones, nothing to be curious about. There are few curves to explore but the dents in between the ribs, few areas that would feel soft or comfortable to the touch. Obviously there is no use in having a wonderful build, when you have no weight to compliment it. This has become an obsession, especially in showbusiness - our ideal for beauty is inconveivable to most, and has grown forth by photo manipulation and CGI. What can I say? I am not saying that you have to be a berg of intergalactic scale, or even close, to be attractive or alluring. But focus is sliding from "Being able to give birth to healthy children" and "Being able to survive the winter and lift heavy loads" to "weighing as little as possible".

In the UK, nearly 2 in every 100 secondary school girls suffer from anorexia nervosa,
bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder.

Weight loss and getting healthier are often misconcepted for being the same thing. Becoming healthier doesn't necessarily mean that losing weight will get you there. Having a healthy varied diet, living a good life, moving your body and being in general at peace with your own body - does not concede with our beauty ideals.

An estimated 10 per cent of female college students suffer from a clinical or sub-clinical (borderline) eating disorder, of which over half suffer from bulimia nervosa.

Needless to explain, this does not account when being overweight, but obviously there is a difference in being fat and feeling fat. What defines being fat? Every body is different, no body grows or develops the same way - therefore, not every human body can be 175 cm and still weigh 45 kiloes. And whatever happened to having fun? When the ideal of being thin completely dominates our ability to enjoy ourselves - then what is the point in living? "She looked great in everything she wore, but she never let go. She was a killjoy."

An estimated 1 in 3 of all dieters develop compulsive dieting attitudes and behaviors. Of these, one quarter will develop full or partial eating disorders.

Don't change who you are and what you are for the sake of fitting into something that society is telling you to fit into. Because I love you, and I will always appreciate you no matter what you look like. I'm not telling you to ignore the common concept of beauty, I am telling you to sacrifice it for the sake of your health, your human body.

I'm only saying you should "... Leave something/For me and my imagination..."

By the way, this is my post #800!

Puffed Rice

Puffed rice is actually quite nice I think, it's cheap and chewy and it can be used for all sorts of things. Like pillow-stuffing, imitation maggots, navel fluff substitute, to dam up when you're having a nosebleed, and when you are in the need of cellulites and you can't wait for it and you can just stick some puffed rice under your skin right away. Puffed rice also sounds to straightforward to be real, it sounds like a codename for a drug. It really does.

Puffed rice is though very convenient when you wake up and you really want 3000 of something. Don't get me wrong here, I really, truly like puffed rice, I really do. The thing with puffed rice is though that it tastes next to nothing, but if it does taste something, it tastes I imagine what a small rodent farts in your mouth after having an alternative health enema tastes like. Especially those chocolates with puffed rice in them, though I suppose if that floats your boat I can only suggest you get another bag of those, or see someone about it. Which is fine by me, honestly. 

Also another thing is that puffed rice is just steamed rice grains that have been under a lot of pressure, someone could say that it's sort of like lumps of coal becoming diamonds. Well, it sort of isnt. It sort of just becomes slightly bigger grains of rice that sort of weighs almost nothing and that sort of doesn't taste anything and sort of lacks a purpose. It is like dropping your dunking biscuit in your hot beverage and forget about it! Because by the time you come back to get it, right - it's twice the size but it's disgusting, it is also terribly hard to get rid of. It is not as if somebody comes over with an empty cup, knocks and goes "Sorry, I ehm-- could I borrow a cup of mushy biscuit? No? You don't have any either, eh? Hmm. Well could I have some puffed rice?" That never happens, they never really ask for that. They ask tricky questions like "Where were you last wednesday? Do you know this man? Is this your Calamari?"

And what am I supposed to say to that? "Hey dude, chill man, come in and have some puffed rice!" I can't say that-- seriously!

Time time time!

Gosh! It appears it is the eighth of December already. Where did the time go? It vanished! POP! Gone! Incredible that is, time, it always appears to be rushing by when we need it, and then when we're aware of it being there it's slow and gooey. What a spot of bother we twirled ourselves into when inventing time - or discovering time, I suppose (that would be more accurate). I could write something witty here, or something that could put a smile on your face for the rest of the day. Afraid I can't really think of anything to write - except that I saw Hairspray today, and it almost gave me a facelift because I almost threw up and so my face was upside down most of the time.

I still think Cristopher Walken is cool though, it is compulsive, I suppose.

Delicious cream

Cream is one of the chemical elements, positioned on the periodic table next to potassium, underneath sauce. And that is a FACT.

Margarine is the enemy, never forget that!

And it doesn't look like this outside at all. When is it going to snow again?

Axolotl and the rain

All the snow is raining away today, like expected. But it was a good thing that we got a lot of snow as a warning for winter. Because as usual everybody are totally unprepared for snow. Cars and people sliding about on the ice just like Bambi, and whining about how cold it is.

But now we have got a taste of winter, people will recall what snow is like every year, and so we have some time to unpack our giant coats, the boots, the hats, the mittens and the spiky tyres, right? I blew my nose in a napkin, but it was full of cinnamon, now my head feels weird.


For some reason I ended up looking at pictures of Mudkips today, and randomly I cam across this creature called Axolotl. I didn't even know there was a creature named Axolotl. But I like it. It is on the brink of extinction though, but I hope it survives. It looks nice, doesn't it? It has a friendly face.

Hurry!

Every girl that is additionally a geek never remains single for very long. It's true. It is like the second a guy gets the notion some girl has a mere fraction of nerdness about her - she gets snapped up even before she can say "LOL!".

Which is interesting, and probably due to the fact that nerd girls have a reduced defense system. First of all they are probably not used to the idea of being attractive to someone, which means they are not prepared (YOU ARE NOT PREPARED! (or, you know what I mean). And secondly, they are probably so busy gaming they rarely even realize that they have entered a relationship.

And this is quite normal, just think about it. It makes sense. How many remotely sane gaming girls do you know that is single? (Well, I could actually think of a few right now, but all of these chicks are either stationed somewhere in the farthers corners of uncivilized Snoreway, or in fact too fast). Which is a gift. If you are able to run away soon enough - you'll be alright. Or, you could always just move to somewhere safe. Like the moon, or Yemen, or somewhere you have to wear either a full-bodysuit or -grow a beard, which could be either of the two places.

Dogs on the dozen, dogs dogs

For some funky reason we are planning on getting a smaller dog as a softer transition for the day when we'll be parted with our all-time favourite dog, Cleo. (She is well by the way, but no dog lives forever, and it would be delightful to let her smear some of her contageous personality over to our next dog, as ideally - we just want a dog like her all our lives). The problem is that this family has a strong passion for big, silly-eared dogs. Not small dogs, just smiling and active, or at least patient and annoying - packed with personality. So when searching for the perfect small-dog addition to our family we obviously stumble across a lot of giants that can be heartbreakingly adorable. I gathered my personal favourites, as they just couldn't pass-on unnoticed.



Above is a Caucasian Ovcharka. A giant Russian breed. I want one!


Above here is a Komondor, they're from Australia. Brilliantly - they also function as makeshift floormops.




This here'd be a poodle. They're one of the smartest kinds of dog-breeds! Imagine that! They are never born Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - but that's the beauty of it, you can make them one!

So, what do you think?

Electronica Snails

It must be so strange to be a snail. They get to stay home all day, yet they travel a lot. Kind of quirky. there are snails without their homes on their back too, they probably find the world something new. Like slugs. They are slimey and slippery so they never get to learn how to tapdance or how to knit, and they can't wear hats either, not without putting holes in them for their eyes. Imagine what snails think about, I imagine they are very sophisticated and maybe a little caught up in electronica. They just listen to it over and over. Hmm... and I think all snails love listening to MGMT as well, I just know they do. It's like I get that feeling when I watch them, oh and - I've heard it, this other day when I was snowboarding, I fell on my face and slid down into a snowless hole surrounding a tree.

Underneath the lower pine branches, smelling of bark and soil and frosted cones I heard "Kids" playing from somewhere down by the roots. Snails are actually very funky creatures, the snail I managed to get a glimpse of had DVNO printed in gold across its back. It was totally mint. Two snails were having a fight some way further down in the hard ground, the guy kept saying "We've come a long long way together, Through the hard times and the good, I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like I should" but she was all "Television rules the nation". And that was that.

Maybe they should've gone back together, but he kept checking her blue magnetic monkey out- even though he knew she wasn't in to that "what else is there?" type of thing! So maybe not. Kind of made me doubt the whole sophisticated bit. As I was considering this a couple of snails were painted like clowns and getting down. Maybe I should just stop being human and take part in this snail nation, even though I'll miss you, I'm sure it'd be alright! You could come visit! Don't let the man get you down!

Glad to see me?

We like dogs because they can be happy on a completely random basis. Their happiness and their affection toward us is pretty much conditionless - only thing we have to do is to on occasion scratch them behind the ears and give them a really silly smile. And really this is the most brainless smile we have, I feel silly just thinking about that smile. The only thing that can possibly make us look more ridiculous than when we are encountering our dog after coming home from work - is at the confrontation of babies.

It is rather harsh that some of the most easy to please always have to see our intimidating side. I consider myself a relatively happy person that can get easily excited from the most simple things - like christmaslights or soap bubbles. Thankfully, I am no longer a babychild and I am not a dog anymore either, so even though I am glad to see someone I don't have to put up with them snuggling their cheeks against my hands, or making me lick them far up their noses while giggling at me.

While our hopeless behaviour seems to be received with joy, I am starting to think that the positive response is based upon panic and fear. Actually they should be screaming and running away from us when we enter the room! They should write a bookabout it! Shouldn't they? The Art of Baby & Dog Etiquette, a book that can slaughter the myths of how they take pleasure in our madness. It would only be fair to be honest. After all we've put them through.

Flonch

Flonch is the fleshy pink meat that can be seperated from the inside of old speakers. If you have been using your speakers for a very long time you can flip the backside open with something sharp and leave the speakers under humid, moist conditions for a couple of days.

The result will be small, perky cakes of a stringy, salty meat that has gathered on the inside of the sound-ommophones. Sound-ommophones are obviously the little spanish electrodes that can read CD's and Mp3s and sing the contents out loud to you exactly as they are written.

Flonch is commonly misconcepted for being dead Sound-ommophones, or dead Sound-ommophone babies, which could seem like a logical explanation to the appearance of flonch. Though flonch is actually particles of sound that have over the years been unable to get out of the speakers - you may call it the bits of music that are written off by Darwin. The little sounds that were never allowed to shout it out to you. The reason why flonch is more apparent after remaining in a humid environment is that music is made from water. Why else do you think pirates and sailors are famous for singing, and not ninjas?

When confronted with its actual watery form, the flonch incarnates as slushy, spongy, ear-coloured meat and looses its ability to sound. It is very nice with scallops and lemon, or baked potatoes.

Flonch is also known as

1. Being positive or desirable in nature.
2.Having the qualities that are good or distinguishing in a particular thing.
3.Serving the desired purpose or end.
4.In good condition.
5.Superior to the average.
6.Of high quality.

"We had some flonch news from the hospital."

"That band were flonch!"
Source: urbandictionary.com

Chronic Wrapping Syndrome (CWS)

What do you know? It's easy to catch something nasty at this time of year, might be anything. A little pest, some flu, a hat, a cold, something that might kill you, you never know. You go out without a scarf, in two hours you'll be dead. But what you do know, however is that this time of year the more dramatic cases of CWS (Donum Obvolvo Gravatus) Syndrome is discovered among the population. And, for all you may be aware of - perhaps you've caught it.

Chronic Wrapping Syndrome is an obsessive compulsive disorder not at all to be mistaken for all the other similar acronyms:
Canadian Wildlife Service, Crackle Whoop and Snap, Church World Service, The Coil Winding Specialist, Critical Wank Symphony, Coupling Wave Solutions, Corc Worship Saturday, College World Series, Crocodile Whiff Slough, Chicago White Sox, Cappucino Wig Seals, Chirping Whiz Slomp, Cirque Wiener Soleil, Chocolate Whomp Sleigh or Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary.

The most likely ones to suffer from CWS syndrome are people working in service branches, though normally it is said that women in general are exposed the highest. The spread of the syndrome, however is disaccordingly to the urban legend totally sporadic; you and I are equally as likely to catch it.

CWS is strongly related to holidays and major celebrations, Christmas is obviously the worst of them all, which is the reason why during January hundreds and thousands of people are diagnosed with the above. The symptoms are usually the powerful urge for wrapping everything up, by that, meaning wrapping up in every possible meaning of "wrapping up".

Examples:

• Wrapping up the truth, lying constantly
• Wrapping up in too much clothes
• Wrapping up food and storing it for later
• Wrapping up work, finishing it before deadline
• Wrapping up people - meaning you get over their death, sometimes before they die.
• Wrapping up and then down
• Wrapping up and accepting certain events, often misinterprated for being a pushover.

The only cure is to smoke or to squeeze hard a frog that you don't like. If you lose a frog the condition can get worse, and you then have to smoke or squeeze two frogs, that you don't like.

Oh, and you should check out this English to Norwegian Dictionary

After walking home

After walking home from town, approximately 8 kilometres, being shitcold and freezing I obviously have to have a giant FLY – of all things, trapped in my room. And I don’t mind them usually, they don’t harm me much, except that constant buzzing. Well – this, as I said; was a particularly huge, black fly, and it couldn’t be called buzzing, because it was practically a sawmill.

Mad as I went, only short moments later, I decided that this poor fly, which was probably due dead in September, and not December during -15 degrees Celsius – had to die. At first I tried wacking it with a magazine, it was a Game Factor magazine, issue 54 that I stole at a kebab shop during a particular moist night out in October. But, predictably – my slightly sideways reflexes failed at putting this creature down. So I had to kill it with hairspray.

Now it’s very silent in my room, the only sound is the cracking of ice as my thighs are melting inside my pyjamas. And then there’s also the irregular pop of my braincells dying from all the hairspray-toxins circling around my head.

My feet are also a little soft after walking in the cold for one and a half hours.

Here is a preview of the gingerbread lighthouse by the way;

By all means

Perhaps to enlighten the inhabitants of planet earth some in depth research on more trivial and meagre matters, like flavoured bottled water or diet-cereal could help solve our dietary and materialistic issues. Perfectly ordinary things are given a guise, a quality, ability or a shrewdness not common for the item -through chemical meddling during the production. It is feasible that our mood and lifestyle is more controlled and presumptively also more affected by the contents and appearance of household products than what we may think.

Complicated as this may sound - it is really all down to pulchritude. As a human we are born and raised into a divided world that provides us with the insight of what we like to see - and what we do not like to see. Everything has in our eyes a certain practical use; like food giving us nutrition; or a car taking us places. But for the aspect of necessity it's important to consider that as a person one also always view items as pieces of art, we always judge the books by the cover - such are the rules.

And I shit you not, your car also has to look fine, a custom paint-job, a commercial where it turns into a transformer and throws a party all over your tellybox screen. Additives, sweeteners, artificial colourings and preservatives are only useful to a certain extent. Most of the time it is just a matter of eyecandy - about the cover of the book. And it's logical! It makes sense! It was like the other day when I bought snacks for my dog, and I bought the one named "Funtastix" because it had the best name, and the prettiest packaging.

I'm not trying to be smug and tell you all what you already know, because we all know that we like to glorify things that really aren't all that nice. Really it is just ranting about our stupidity. We all know it, yet we all fall for it. The way we perceive beauty is a gift! How many other living creatures can separate beautiful from ugly, really? So as we have been blessed with this particular ability, I don't see why we can't abuse it - even for power and money. Morally it's practically repulsive, but technically it's not at all illogical - even if we did realize all the junk we add to our household is really just providing us with a safe quota of cancer and compulsiveness, we'd fall back to it.

Antidote

Of course the most brilliant medicines can't be produced. I am already suspecting that they have a cure for the most horrid things, that science already have been victorious against - but we still have to suffer with. Imagine if there was a cure against getting pregnant, haha, everyone would just run around and have sex all the time, everywhere! ...

Forgetfulness! I'm sure there is an academic way of being reminded and remember everything, but if people started using this all the time, we wouldn't be using our head on our own - so we'd be helpless without it. Even though it would be a great invention, that many people would be grateful for, and that maybe could help make our planet a better place to be. The disaster that would occur if something happened, and we wouldn't be able to get hold of it anymore is inconcieveable.

Think if there was an antidote to smoking, or drug-addiction, even to caffeine and sugar-holics. This might already excist you know, but then what would we learn from our abuse? We'd just quit, then go back at it if we liked to, because there was always away out of it again. We wouldn't learn anything about our past mistakes, we could twist our course of life, help a lot of people who need to get out of their condition. But man is way too selfish for such a tool, something so powerful, we have the statistics against us. Again. We'd abuse it just like a drug.

Imagine there was a cure against being hungover! The damage would never end! People would drink the rivers dry, and hand in their livers way before they became of age! It would be madness to publish a discovery like that. Mankind isn't made for these temptations, and the punishments have to be hard, or else we wont be able to control ourselves.

Then perhaps I am being too negative here, maybe we could in fact handle it, there's a chance.

But I don't honestly believe it myself, at least not until I see it!

drink up, sonny-boy!

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
It's as everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

- Keane "Everybody's changing" ("Hopes and Fears" 2004)

I think it is about time I'm realizing that purchasing and consuming alcohol is always going to be a waste in my case. Not just because it rhymes, but because it's true. Because quite honestly, I'm starting to (finally) get that this is something which is not going to change.

What happens is that I go out, drink, drink more, get tired, can't be bothered with anything or anyone - just want to sleep, go home, tidy my things, iron my clothes and other crazy responsible things (-like blogging!) I hardly ever do when sober. Then I fall asleep. If I haven't already.

That's how far it gets me really, I get tired - I clean something, and I fall asleep. The statistics are pretty clear on this point. And to be honest, I don't know just what to do about it. I could always stop drinking all together! After all, the muslims can do it!

Maybe drink a lot of battery, burn, coffee and Redbull. Maybe.