Guide for Norway

Apparently, tourists (especially English, Japanese and Italian) have been lacking in Norway this year. While as usually - we get a handful of them, it has now been reduced to almost nothing! :0 (yeah yeah, there have been the sporadic incidents of locals putting tourist buses on fire, but honestly I thought extreme tourism was all in the "now").

SO, ideally - I have decided to do a bit of advertising on my behalf - to show you exactly what kind of beauty Norway can offer - even for someone who has "travelled everywhere" and "seen everything". I swear to you! You will be surprised! And I have to admit that the theme is a little cheesy, like the headline and everything, but then again, it makes it seem so much more attractive. It's all about style!

Thoughts of a Viking Guide for Norway
- a Northern Odyssey

There are many wonderful sights and sounds in Norway, and I will begin with our proud capital, it was once known as Kristiania - but then went back to it's original name that's still used today, which is Oslo.

A most vibrant and interesting intersection consisting of up to several intersections actually - believe it or not. Today Oslo has approximately 856 915 inhabitants (this is per Jan. 1st 2008) - and also the highest density of lapps (sami) in the entire of Norway. Considering, there are though - very few reindeer. Anyway --

Oslo is:

1. Always under Construction
So many ditches are being dug, church roofs reinstated, buildings rehabilitated, offices constructed that the city is almost to be considered one great piece of versatile, temporary art.

2. Expensive
Oslo is the most expensive City in Europe, and also second on a worldwide basis. As a bonus, Oslo is packed with demanding beggars on every corner.

3. Smelly
Not all over, but right here - right here on the map. It always smells.

4. Democratic
Norwegians are fair and just - that being said; democracy really means that nobody really gets their will - and solutions are based on compromises. Which explains why the shape of the new operahouse is a somehow indefinable three-dimensional oblong.

5. Quiet
There is no such place as Oslo, or Norway (in general) to go when you seek somewhere you can be absolutely free of small-talk. If you speak to a Norwegian stranger, they will most likely think you are either a) American, b) Drunk, -or c) Both! (Which initally might not be bad things overall, but you might have trouble keeping a conversation going).

6. Wet
I mentioned Oslo being rather short on social interaction, this might not always be the case, except when it comes to bus stops and the like. Because in Oslo we have these benches underneath a "shelter" of sorts that can easily fit about seven people on almost every bus stop. But in Oslo, if somebody is standing underneath it, and one is sitting on the bench - it's full. Which means any newcomer have to stand in the rain. It all makes sense if you were Norwegian.

7. Doomed
Oslo has 20 graveyards and 13 hospitals. It all just went wrong to begin with.

Dogs on the dozen, dogs dogs

For some funky reason we are planning on getting a smaller dog as a softer transition for the day when we'll be parted with our all-time favourite dog, Cleo. (She is well by the way, but no dog lives forever, and it would be delightful to let her smear some of her contageous personality over to our next dog, as ideally - we just want a dog like her all our lives). The problem is that this family has a strong passion for big, silly-eared dogs. Not small dogs, just smiling and active, or at least patient and annoying - packed with personality. So when searching for the perfect small-dog addition to our family we obviously stumble across a lot of giants that can be heartbreakingly adorable. I gathered my personal favourites, as they just couldn't pass-on unnoticed.



Above is a Caucasian Ovcharka. A giant Russian breed. I want one!


Above here is a Komondor, they're from Australia. Brilliantly - they also function as makeshift floormops.




This here'd be a poodle. They're one of the smartest kinds of dog-breeds! Imagine that! They are never born Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - but that's the beauty of it, you can make them one!

So, what do you think?

From lofoten

Just a lot of MESS

I don't often like other peoples systems. You know what I'm saying? It's like nobody can actually figure out and maintain a system that I'm comfortable using. People always get crazy ideas about how things should be sorted, and how then be strategically positioned to other things accordingly. I'm not saying that chronologically and alphabetically sorted items confuse me, because they are usually fine. It's more like "then the used envelope with glue on the backside is put in the blue container, and the envelopes with no glue is put in the dark blue - next to the envelopes that come without glue". And I'm like - what the flux is that supposed to mean? A horribly poor example, i suppose, but it's about as random and confusing as other people's systems sometimes can be. You know. Completely randomized and sporadic, with no kind of system in it at all to be fair.

Like the solar system. Where on earth did that come in? It is a system for our fellow planets and ourselves and how we are to be according to each other. Imagine if Jupiter got a crazy idea and started moving about. I am quite sure it would cause a high tide or something, though worse - the system will be broken. Naturally this has to be upsetting the natural orders of things, the system is set up so that we get the correct amount of northern light and meteor rain and other fair shares of whatnot. But let's say like generally speaking - someone are bound to get upset by the fact that the system is not how the system shall be. It gets to one. Some just can't handle seeing the system being altered.

People think that by catagolizing their belongings it will eventually take up less space around them, and feel like a smaller, more accessible mass. Well it might be true in some cases, though sorting things don't necessarily make them more conveniently positioned for future examination, certain things are just not meant to be put into a system. At least the way some perceive the structure of a system. You see. It is much more of a "sorted anarchy" than a "system" in many ways. People just misunderstand the need for a system to exist to sort different things apart AND being able to aid one in retrieving these items later on when one needs them, right? Things just get condemned into their designated purple spotted carton never to be seen again. So people forget its even there, and they swear they put it somewhere they could find it - they had even sorted them all alphabetically, but now what's the use of that? If it's all just corks stacked under the letter C, why on earth would one need to sort something which is technically the same - AND also has the exact same "use", if a use at all? If it's all just stuff, why don't one just whack it into a box with all the similar ones? Or - why even do that?

How about just stop "tidying up" and "sorting" our "belongings" - and instead face the fact that even though it's all tucked away in boxes it is not going to make us feel any less guilty for having so much stuff. :(

Music baby, music!

Hello my furry friend! Now, how about you make sure you listen to all the songs that are listed below over the next couple of weeks?

That was a rhetorical question gingerbunny, because as you may know, this here blog ain't democratic. It's not as if you have any kind of choice in the matter. You better just do as I say right away.

Music for your delicate ears:

1. What Ever Happened - The Strokes
2. Pulling Our Weight - The Radio Department
3. All Cats are Grey - The Cure
4. Ceremony - New Order
5. Stay Where You Are - Ambulance Ltd
6. Make Up Your Own Mind - Razorlight
7. Mothers of the Night - Moby
8. Down to the Market - The Kooks
9. Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks
10. An Ordinary Day - Bent
11. The Meeting Place - The Last Shadow Puppets
12. Lost! - Coldplay

Special thanks to Ulrik! http://files.filefront.com/Tora+Music+for+your+delsrar/;11378330;/fileinfo.html

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow, all I want to do is to drink tea, write, draw and listen to the Marie Antoinette Soundtrack.

Maybe listen to the rain as well.