4

Bye bye baby!

I'm leaving for the Roskilde festival in Denmark tomorrow morning. Yes parents, I'm going to be careful and take care of myself and drink responsibly, and then we'll party our brains out. Wheee

I'm totally excited, I've never been there before, but hopefully it will be a wicked blast and everything will be kachoom! Oh yes. And we'll be all sorts of funky people sharing a tent, so very it's going to be pure sweetness. We'll see Den Sorte Skole and Friendly Fires and Ginger Ninja and Røyksopp and Oasis and White Lies and Coldplay and The 20Belows and Håkan Hellstrøm and the Whitest Boy Alive!! Ooooh. I know, it's amazing.

BINGBINGBING.

Where would you go, where would you go with a lasso?

This is a duck from a very beautiful Portuguese garden in Lisbon.
2

F5

Need to get a few new images into your head? Stuck with "I'm in love with a fairytale" again? Need to leave the planet instantly, but have no time to do so? Try THIS!

I wrote it April last year, don't ask me why. It hardly makes any sense. I had saved it in a folder called "Scribling" under "Scraps and drafts", which was fairly accurate to say the least.


"She had neglected the caramel coloured curls, she had dust in her eyebrows and tealeaves between her teeth. Yet she astounded him so much, and he couldn’t help but notice that she read everything like a book. She squinted as well, a pair of glasses was left on her desk, nobody had ever seen her wear them, though according to the thickness of the glass, she probably needed them direly. He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he asked her why the chandelier was so dusty. She said that to clean it properly, one had to take all the pieces apart and dust them separately. He knew this, but he looked interested. She told him to go read about aquariums, there was a particularly good book on guppies that he might be interested in. He didn’t like fish. He didn’t even eat fish. But for the rest of the evening, he sat absorbed in the book. Because she was as always right when it came to books, it was a good book."

Interestingly, I wrote the next piece in April this year, and I must say it was extremely disturbing to read. Reader's discretion is advised, contains very strong mental images.

"Breeze from the rushing river whipped up whisks of morning fog, licking the trunks of the massive trees with gentle kisses of moisture. Sunrise tainted the green moss that covered most of the forest surrounding the riverbed -- the sun made everything glow like gold, even through the thick mist. A cool breeze rushed briskly between the treetops, making the leaves whisper gently high above the damp ground. A bird screeched suddenly, without purpose, sending a group of smaller ones fluttering frightened to a different branch. It was a hushed morning in the forest, only the sounds of nature’s activity could be heard dimly, overshadowed by the roar of the waterfalls.

They were the prisoners of the trees, their bodies wrought unnaturally into the bark, branches erupting through their skin, sending gushes of hot blood surging thickly over crooked roots in the dark below. Many of them were long since dead, but their flesh remained tortured as the forest tightened its brutal hold on them, crushing bones – squeezing marrow out between the leaves and pathways of ants collecting breakfast. None of them were murderers, or criminals in any sense – they were victims of the laws that the forest practised without the humans consent. Most of them had just wandered into the forest aimlessly, just taking a stroll for the sake of clearing their mind. Now they usually found their wrists speared through by a spruce, or birds nesting in their ears. The bodies that were still warm attracted all kinds of attention. Mostly because of the rusty scent of blood that surged through the nostrils of the local carnivores, and the heat that their hearts still radiated. But obviously it was hard to avoid on hearing on such a peaceful morning –the piercing screams of a young man getting ripped in half by a birch. Exactly 372 bodies hung shapeless above the ground, half devoured by trees and beasts, suffering prisoners, every visible or recognisable face contorted in unnaturally convincing animations of pain. "

Picture I took in Lisbon.
3

Tits are so 90's

Should we believe the Norwegian tabloid VG's online version (www.vg.no) - It's considered extremely untrendy to sunbathe topless. Norwegian trendexpert (whatever that is) claims it's savagely unmodern, while as 74% of men answering to a corresponding survey said it was fine. So, that's just too bad, I can't take my top off, then? Shame shame.

Personally I think this is the stupidest thing ever. Why should we have a fashion "opinion" on whether we should be allowed to be topless or not? Like, you better keep your top off now, because in a month it will be sooo last month. That doesn't even make a slight bit of sense.

Maybe I just have a problem with fashion in general, but either way - I'm going to be so topless this summer that you wont even imagine. This is the stupidest thing ever, and I'm totally boycotting. If you plan to follow my example don't forget that most tits rarely see the sun, so they're very sensitive and need plenty of sunscreen. If you're having problem getting enough SPF on, don't hesitate to ask one of the 74% of the guys who definitely think you're doing the right thing by letting your little babies breathe.

That's right. Have a great summer!

10

Please save us

I don't know how many posts I'm going to devote to how shit most part of you lot are at commenting, because you really are. One thing I DO know however, is that this isn't going to be one of those posts.

We are in desperate need of sorbet. The Norwegian community is now reaching out to the world in a plea for some proper icily refreshing fruit sorbet. It is not that we can't get it anywhere, it is just that the (may I add) few, scarce places it is obtainable the sorbet will cost us and possibly foodpoison us. (Please keep in mind that I may be exaggerating just a little, but that the cause still do remain of utter importance).

You see, Norwegians are good at many things. Though when it comes to how good we are at food it is generally our dairy products that really outshine everybody elses. Really, we make the most sexy milk chocolate (snaps perfectly, not too sweet, melts just right, basically a complete chocogasm), fantastic cheese (you may have heard of the Jarlsberg), thick, fruitilicious yoghurts, awesome waffles and magical ice cream. BUT. I say but because I have to make it seem like a drawback; we're only brilliant with dairy based ice cream. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry - you know, the basic ones (oh, and the creamy lemon one). We're really spectacular with them.

But sorbets :( No, we aren't actually very good with sorbets. Most Deli de Luca's in Oslo have an assortment of ice cream that is quite impressive, but we had some last night and I can't say I was enchanted by it. We've yet got such a lo0ng way to go before we're near central european standards of delish sorbet. REALLY.

Please, someone has to help us. Somebody do something!
I might cry.

0

Neeew moosic

I know that you woke up today and thought; "Dang! What have Tora written about new music lately, really? It has all been old recycled stuff we've heard of before, it's hardly indie at all!"

Well I am sorry. My apologies. It is just that sometimes I have (not necessarily better) but other things to do, than to scan the webnet for new, steaming fresh music for you. I know, it is because I don't love you, and that I take you for granted, you always feel stumped about the way I harshly ignore you. I don't deserve you. Let me make it up to you.

Now this band I discovered around Christmas, but I totally and absolutely forgot about it since then! Such a shame, they're awesomely chill and supersexy sweet, like a sticky toffee apple from the big apple itself. I give you New York band "Violens". Wonderful! Can't get enough! Especially the track "Already Oslo". Amazing.

Unfortunately that is really all I have time to hand to you at the moment.


This is my shelf, above my bed, when decorated for Christmas. Ehm. The lights are really the only addition. All the other things usually hang there.
2

The Things I Do Like

I don't want this blog to be this immensely fueled by negativity, so to balance out my outbursts, here is some positive feedback for the world to become tranquil once more. Besides, I really like to make lists, they're nice I think.

I might have skipped some obvious ones, just because I think it is more appropriate to put on the "Things I LOVE" list. Right. I mean, I am pretty sure that I love food, but I also like food a lot, and not having it on the like list will be an insult to my own taste. I am sure there are things or concepts that I just like too much, so they overqualify and don't make it.

You will find that is the reason why you're not on it.

1. Food (especially eating or preparing it)
2. Music
2. Glitter
3. Things that glitter
4. Sleep
5. Toffee, like Thornton's
6. Liqorice (the salty variety)
7. Colours, bright ones
8. Laughter, especially others
9. Snowboarding
10. Reading books
11. Drawing
12. Soft things, like beds, or dough
13. Walking
14. The ocean (actually water in general)
15. Really amazing games, like Zelda, or Pikmin
16. Sunlight
17. Bubbles
18. Lists
19. Talking to strangers (making new friends!)
20. Dancing
21. Doing absolutely nothing
22. Fishing
23. To be inspired
24. The Mighty Boosh
25. Writing
26. Rain, the sound of rain, the feel of rain, the smell of rain
27. Changes
28. Thinking about things that make me happy
29. Otters


I took this picture in a beautiful garden in Lisbon, Portugal last year. I played around with it for a bit so it looks a little more dramatic.
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