Zomg! Brink and Distant Worlds... and Deathspank!!!

Goodness me, does the gaming world offer a lot of goodies indeed. Even I am slightly excited about the single-multiplayer combo "Brink" - which has an incredible trailer (please go enjoy here). And what can I say? It's a highly customizable shooter, a shooter! I can't explain why, but this just looks very very good. And if I'll ever work up the nerve - I'd gladly give it a go! So smooth! And I love the graphical style a lot, it's got a little "Team Fortress" - maybe a splash of "Borderlands" I figure it even catches some "Mirrors Edge" - because of the consistent theme of the scenery.

There'll be character appearance customization, weapon, class, skills customization - there'll be factions and lots of level-based tasks to perform. It just seems to me they are really on to something when combining classical shooting with more mobility ("Mirror's Edge" kicks in here too!), strategy, class and faction specific tasks - more interaction with the actual levels (opening up new paths, hacking computers etc.) and of course its futuristic, catastrophic setting. And back to that bit on character appearance - the size of your character will mean something to the game, if you're small you can traverse more difficult terrain, climbing and jumping. While if you're a big guy, well, you get to play with the bigger guns. Finally, a touch of sensible logic (not harming gameplay (hopefully)) might kiss this genre. Mmm! *rubs hands* I hope they nail it!

And good news for all Wookies: There's yet another Star Wars MMO coming out, this fall. It'll be closely related to the animated "The Clone Wars" and will be free to play. I don't know what to say to that. Something along the lines of: Good for you - I'll be over here.

Splendid weather today! I bought a porcelain cupcake that I can put things in. I really needed it, so don't come here and tell me anything else. Such a practical household item, you wont do without it, sir!

Also for being the only creature on our planet (I am sure) that loved the space-exploration part of "Spore"! I might dabble in "Distant Worlds" an immensely complicated space-based real-time strategy game (actually graphically described by gamer.no as "a science fiction-version of Microsoft Excel and a reasonably unstructured collection of marbles") But I am not put off by that at all - I must say, honestly, it intrigued me! It is known to be vastly complex and refreshingly dynamic - and though it looks really ugly (really) I wont judge this book by its cover. No sir. "Distant Worlds" here I come!

And then there's "Deathspank".

Now I'm really sorry, but I don't even know where to begin with this one. I am so excited I might cry. I really could cry right now. *Gasp* Cry. Really. But... Well, here goes, I will try and keep it nice and short for you, so we don't get any inappropriate dribble on your desk.

"Deathspank" is the odd cousin of all the games we've ever loved - "Psychonauts", "Grim Fandango", "Curse of Monkey Island" and "Secret of Monkey Island", even - all the LucasArts gems. Brilliant, intelligent, stunningly funny, random, captivating. I might need a pause to breathe. And "Deathspank", ladies and gentlemen is an action-adventure of massive proportions - told to be about 15 hours of insane gameplay. Lots of hack n' slash - strange enemies hitting you with fish, even more strange quests given to you by locals - a witch, an artefact - and a humour that has been told (as well) to be closely related to that of our beloved Terry Pratchett.

The hero, "Deathspank" himself - wears a purple thong beneath all his armour and is described as such: "Charming. Intelligent. Enigmatic. These are just a few words that nobody ever uses when describing DeathSpank. He doesn't shoot first and ask questions later. He doesn't even realize there are questions". This is not a game that takes itself seriously - and not because it is trying to excuse why it sucks - but because it is just too flippin' awesome to be pompous. Even their newsletter is called "Deathspam" - I mean, how is that not funny? There are tons of different weapons and armours to use, a gigantic map with bright pop-up book scenery with lots of purple in it and hopefully - the game story of the year. Do enjoy yourself with some madness on their website - Deathspank.com while you're waiting, but I can't wait. I really can't wait. And all I know is that "it is coming soon". GAAaah!

I just have to stop there, and I'll go shake a pigeon out the window until the abstinences pass for a bit. Because this will be so much fun! Too much fun, really. I might die, that's how fun it's going to be.

"So why do you need orphans anyway? Build a house?"


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