Hmm, how come my essay hasn’t written itself? I did read the assignment, I even chose a topic, and wrote a header. Still it hasn’t been able to patch itself together without my assistance, it appears it hasn’t even tried. That might be what annoys me most about schoolwork and other uninteresting tasks. You can’t just mentally plug off and let your body do the work without really paying attention. You actually have to be present and DO the work yourself. It’s unpractical in so many ways. The guards look more than averagely bored to death, they haven’t brought anything to read or play with. Can’t believe they are just going to sit there. I wonder if the time really is just 09:15, because I’ve been drawing and reading and even had a short nap – while as we’ve only been here fifteen minutes. That doesn’t make any sense at all. One of the girl guards is so much prettier when she smiles. She should smile, she has a beautiful smile. Treasure it, girl. It’s the magic you’ve got, that smile. It really is. Maybe she does right in saving it. Bet it’s got her out of trouble more than once.
That’s why wool keeps you nice and warm, it’s because it itches, so it gets that circulation going. My theory. Getting more certain about it every time I wear wool, like today – I am wearing a giant woollen jumper and woollen socks. It’s impossible to be cold at all, or not to itch.
I was actually feeling quite happy with my text, but then I changed something – not sure exactly what. But now it’s different in a way that doesn’t appeal to me. But I don’t know how to change it back, so I can’t. Strange sensation. I don’t feel well at the moment, I feel full, yet I’m hungry, maybe I should have some chewing gum. Nam nam. I had some chewing gum. And I was right, it was nam nam. Nam nam.
It is so wonderful that the same guard as last time is using that sweet little, red lunchbox. The guard I was partial to is not here today, sadly. He had beautiful eyes.
I wonder how many kilos my head is. I just dropped it on my keyboard and rested for a bit. My essay is 829 words, It’s still two hours left. Not to worry, this will go well, hopefully. I can’t wait to go jogging. Really, I’m getting excited about it. I’m on Danish eye drops and Icelandic antibiotics, so I’m feeling so much better, and I have a voice and I have sinuses. Incredible. I’m still a little worried about the rash on my hands, I never really got to the bottom of that. Probably should go see the doctor again. But anyway, still have to ramble about getting better, because the best part of it is that I don’t have to wear glasses anymore. Weeee!! Yay yay! Man, I am SO glad I don’t have to wear glasses all the time, it’s such a burden and I prefer contacts easy! Seriously. Bah! And I don’t suit my glasses either, the way the lenses curve makes my eyes look smaller. Just like my eyes weren’t small enough already, how cruel of the cold, inconsiderate bastards.
Hmm. So all the lefse is eaten. It was better last time, same manufacturer, but different kind of lefse. This here’d be a klenning lefse, while as the other was probably made of potato, which made it slightly more moist. Which was better, to be fair.
I have now written 1 200 words of my newnorwegian assignment. The progress is incredibly slow, I’m aiming for a couple hundred more words, just to be on the safe side. If I have about three pages it should be fine. So let’s see if I can manage. I’m thinking of totally different things, like the dream I had last night. It was real funky. I would tell you about it, but it doesn’t really make any sense, I was two people at once, in a restaurant, and everything I wanted to do was done by one person, while as the things I dared or should do – was done by the other. So in a way I got my will at the same time as I behaved like everyone wanted me to. There was all this food and nice people and coconut drinks. We should go a place like that sometime. I probably should start doing more of the things I urge to do, instead of just sitting back and doing what is expected of me, or expect others to do what I don’t dare to do! It was cool to be two people at once, it was like having split personalities I suppose, but it felt a little liberating.
Ooh! I'm done now. SO SICK of looking up words and double-checking the spelling, you wnt believe it. I still can't imagine we're actually forced to write in this silly worm-tongue. Eugh! No, I say we stick to reading these darn texts in New-Norwegian, and then we just skip the whole learning how to use it ourselves part. Because it's a dead language, it's like latin, just that nobody uses it to explain the state of your kidney, or the access to your spine through your nostril. Anyway, Printing in progress! Time to go!
Wish me luck!
And, -- before you ask, -yes! That IS me dressed up as a Russian prostitute.
And no, it was in fact not for any special reason in particular. I believe we were just out for a walk and I wanted to stay warm.
Polka dots and fur is soo trendy.
EDIT: Also I'd really appreciate it if you could read this, and then tell me what you think? <3 (It's a good idea to read the first part first!)
I think this is my post number 701. On the other hand, you never quite know with technology. For all I may be aware of - it's my post number 432, how can I know? I have to stop believing what internet tells me, right? It's ALL lies. Above is yet another picture from the russetid, zomgomg. Classic times - Crazy days.
In other news, you have reached the end of the internet. there's nothing more to see now. you have surfed through it all, thanks for joining. Welcome back to do it aaall again some other time. Ciao!
I must say, writing this essay will probably drive me insane. I have to sit here quietly for five hours – which, to be honest, isn’t the least bit fair. I only just got my voice back, and now they’re refusing me to use it, just because of this ridiculous examination. No thank you, I say. I’d rather stand about and chat, maybe eat some lefse, have a good day – enjoy myself, and then. When I’m quite done with that, I’d rather NOT know what bloody subject I’m having my next exam in, because frankly, I don’t want to know! Well I do, it’s just, I kind of get the feeling it’s going to be maths, in fact I’m like 100% sure about it, because it’s so typical. And if that is the case (which it most likely is – it may postpone my future with at least a year!) The bitches. Going off, wrecking my future like that. They have quite a nerve.
I’m just sitting here, staring out the window. The fact that I have food is actually stressing me a lot. I can’t seem to be able to do any proper work until I’ve eaten it all! It’s that damn Spumante Syndrome; if there’s any food at the table I’ll continue to eat. This is of course regulated by whose food it is, if it’s any good, and if my body can handle the masses. I just started eating a lefse now, might as well get on with it. Right?
Hm. I’ve eaten it all now, guessing I actually have to write the assignment. It’s weird to write down my thoughts. That man at the front keeps looking at me, must be because I’m smiling and typing like a madman. I’m wearing glasses too – must make me look smart. Poor Sebastian is having real trouble with his laptop, the IT team keep running around with different wires and plugging them into holes in the wall and attaching them to the PC after. The best of drama they’re going to get this week, well at least they’re making the most of it. Can’t blame them, nothing ever happens here.
That lefse butter sure had a strange texture. I’m wearing too much makeup. It’s because I have to put it on without my glasses on, so basically I can’t see anything, and I keep adding more and more until I look like some kind of monster. Man in front just asked the IT about the correct printer, they’re making a lot of fuss too, neither of the examination “guards” (poor students or retired teachers) have brought books or anything to keep them occupied. They will go crazy now, poor chaps. They’re really going to sit there for five hours without anything to read. You’re screwed, man.
Have I mentioned that I’ve got some kind of strange discolouring on my hands? It’s like a mildly pink rash, but it doesn’t itch or make itself present at all. It’s just there, and I don’t know why! Probably stress. I am stressed, this is terrible, I’ve almost written an entire page of thoughts, while only a few keywords for my real assignment. Would’ve been easier if I could write it in English, Norwegian is just too clichéd, it’s impossible to write any of these exam assignments without doing something that has been done already. Sebastians computer is working now, they were very effective. It’s gone all quiet again. Woot, I’ve been here a whole forty minutes already! I usually don’t start doing anything until at least an hour. If I start right away I’ll finish too early and I have to sit and wait. That’s what people don’t understand these days, some cursed creative souls suddenly get struck by lightning and they create something, and they know exactly what – and it’s fast, too. So if I know what to write, it’ll only take a few hours and it’d be done (like in a flash, but longer). Now my left hand hurts, should’ve known it was going to happen, typing away like that, all bitten by the rambling-bug. We must be best friends, anyway – he bites me all the time.
I put a scarf and some hobo-gloves on. Now I can keep warm, but still keep typing! Go team! Oh noes, one of the “guards” has drunk all his water already, poor thirsty soul. The wateromaut is just outside the door, but he probably doesn’t know. It’s like right across the hallway, guess he will remain thirsty, I am not allowed to speak. Perhaps I should drink my water and tempt him with it. Wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do, besides, I don’t have a clue how to drink temptingly. I find that when it comes to tempting, I’m completely lost. Not all of us are born temptresses. I’m glad I didn’t bring any tea, I wouldn’t have got anything done. I’d sit and write, sip my tea, enjoy myself, and then I’d go to the loo, come back, drink some more, write, giggle, have a good time. But I wouldn’t ever really get anywhere with the assignment, no, no, I’d write something long and really silly, like this here. That’s my problem, isn’t it? I know myself too well, still I allow myself to do really dumb things, because I know I’m going to do them anyway.
Last night I dreamt about kebabs, and about being russ, I dream a lot about the russetid actually. Slightly nostalgic you know. Skjalg ate my kebab, that’s what happened in the dream. The bastard. The guard just walked Christina to the lavatory and back, she looked very smug coming back in again, I guess by her book he’s defined as attractive, the other one probably plays world of warcraft. Speaking of which, I worked out a strategy last night, to just come in here and say something like “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to do very good on this here exam, I have resurrection sickness you see. And I didn’t have a lot of time to revise either, because you see I was dead for like a week”. I just deflated. Maybe I should get some sleep? Probably not a good idea, what if I don’t wake up in time to write my assignment? It’s been an hour now, I’ve written this and stared out the window.
Hm. I was just writing something, and I dozed off at the end of a word, so all I could see were a whole array, or more like half a page of rrr’s. Disturbing. Wops, seems I fell asleep again. Twenty minutes on the ear does you good! I feel much better now. Just need to stay awake. Hold on, twenty minutes? Yes, yes that’s right. Puh, I thought I’d slept for an hour! The birds are singing, and the sun is out. It’s very nice, I want to go outside and look at the big, yellow cranes.
Ooh, one of the guards just unrolled a copy of National Geographic, and he’s looking at them beautiful, glossy pages full of colourful pictures. I want to do that as well. I love the world too! Just like Discovery Channel. And he’s filled his waterbottle. Wow, and he waited until 11:30. I’d be dead by then, if I couldn’t have slept. We did have a guard once that fell asleep, rather loudly, with mellow, scraping sounds emitting from her nose. It was priceless, you should have been there. She was a strange character, she used to hang about the classrooms, but she didn’t really know anything. If we asked her for help, she never had an answer, even though she offered herself all the time. The circumstances around her were mysterious anyway, one day she just… disappeared. And when we asked the other teachers about her, they’d just laugh and smile and say “oh yes, her!” as much to themselves as the world in general. And they’d walk away, absent-mindedly, and we never got a real answer from them.
I just started to eat my banana, it’s very nice. So far I’ve only written 522 words on my assignment, and I just have two and half hours left. Turns out I’m having a really hard time thinking of a way to write down all the things I know about the subject. It’s too much. It’d been easier if I didn’t know anything at all. And I want banana and lime cake please. For some reason I rolled my sleeves up, and I have freckles on my arms. Looks kind of strange, doesn’t it? I was raised by arms that look like that, but I still think they look a bit weird on myself. Sebastians computer look a bit sick, it has all those cables and wires into it, like it has to be kept alive, because it can’t live on its own. Haha, while as I have written 473 words (yeah, I deleted a whole lot) on my real assignment, this wall of text is on 1 509 words! Pathetic, Tora, pathetic!
The food is driving me insane, I’m blaming it for this. I keep looking at it, and then I can’t concentrate, so I’m eating it all now, so I can focus for a bit. It is weird how people move and behave when they try to be quiet. One of the examination guards has put his lunchbox on the floor underneath the desk, I haven’t really understood why, but I think he’s done it so the other guard wont see him eat. But why does that matter? People sure are weird. Why would the other object to him eating? He probably hasn’t eaten in hours, and he NEEDS to eat, by the look of him. He’s tall and lanky. I just understood why he hid his food. I was just looking at him eat, and the other guard (which is charming, I must say) was looking at it like an alligator looks at a blind goat. I thought I heard rain, it sounded refreshing, but it wasn’t rain, it was something else. But I don’t know what. I hope I get to have my exam on law studies, it’s dead easy. Hans Jørgen said that if he also got to do a Law studies exam we’d study together, at the cinema.
Gods, I’m so full right now, but the last lefse is teasing me, and it’s literally driving me off my hinges. Eeeep. I’m really happy now, full of energy and good mood. I don’t know why, because my assignment has been stuck for some time now. Maybe I’ll read through the description again and see if I’ve missed out on something important (again). Yes sir, it wouldn’t be the first time. No sir. Everybody is coughing, I feel a lot better than I have in several days. Christina is sitting behind me, and she’s tapping at her keyboard so hard, I’m getting kind of worried she’ll break it. The noise also bothers me a little, if only we could have listened to music while doing this, it’d been so much easier! An hour left now. Crikey. I still just have 785 words. Or less, actually, after I delete that paragraph I don’t like anyway.
Muuh. Yay! I have written 1 077 words. I finally tipped the 1000th word, about bloody time, only like half an hour left now.
The time is 13:37! Yay! Whoo... ho.
Ooh deary, deary me. A girl just asked what year we got our constitution. Ooh dear. How can she not remember that? That’s incredible, I wish I had recorded that. We only just celebrated that day on Saturday, it’s less than a week ago! Silly girl. Oh, time is up in ten minutes. At least I finished in time. Better print it. Thanks for the chat, honey! :D
Soo.. That's a wrap.
The russetid is officially over, and it's very sad, as a matter of fact - it's very very sad :(
I've completely lost my voice, all you hear is a loud, high-pitched scraping sound when I try to speak, so I haven't been able to talk properly since May 16th! If this continues much longer - i will go crazy! Speaking of which - gogo May 17th! YAY! Happy Snoreway Time!
I'm sure there's looaads to tell, like that the four of us (Ulrik, Jakob, Elin and myself) drank a crate of beer inside a phone booth for a russ-knot, and later we woke up some teachers at six in the morning! (One of them had baked buns for us, she was supernice). It snowed as well, in fact - it was the coldest May 17th for fifty years.
Go team, we fail at climate, indeed. I put some before/after pictures pre/past russetid here, to describe everything in pictures for you.
And here I am, doing what I do best! In fact, exactly what I am going to do now, and have done for some 16 hours. Sleep!
For a long time (like let's see, yes! From way back in the grand Chinese emperors' time) it has been known that important, or famous people can feel all the more important and/or famous if they have larger personal space. Being untouchable is status.
Your name is Brian. Hello Brian. Brian has been drinking. You with me? And he is on a bus, naked, in a strange swimming pool. How big is your personal space?
Today I've brought two different kinds of brown cheese on my matpakke, so I can feel extra Norwegian.
Shakin' that ass
I see you baby
My name is Grandma Funk, - ya!
Edit: You don't know who Groove Armada is, do you? Huh?!
Grandma Funk > You
The weather is beaautiful, I was home at seven this morning so I only had time to run home, eat and put some more wool on (because even though it's sunny, it's getting colder - for some peculiar reason). Actually I woke up with my head on Hans-Jørgens behind :D
Anyway, I giggled like a little girl yesterday, must've been the icecream, because I usually don't giggle as much. The carpenters working on our house asked me about how late I was home this morning. Funneh!
There you go, we're done with all the Tryvann parties :( It was a blast last night - on Friday Ulrik and I were dressed up as barman and barmaid - it was supercool. It was all part of The Red Lion (their bus) having a pub & bar theme, right? So we had to get into the spirit of the place! It was funky anyway. Though last night we didn't dress up, we were just awesome to bits, and we danced and ate Laffy Taffy.
We then had an afterparty at Even's place. We made omelette and tranced and we jumped on the lawn and other crazy stuff, because that's just how fresh we are. Oh yeah.
So we went home at about noon today and now my feet hurt again, but not as much as before. Either way, t'was funky, there were flashing lights and I can swear i saw a female midget stripper on top of the bus "Scream '08" on Friday! She was topless even. Now that's something you don't get to see each day - eh?
I for one certainly hope not.
For some peculiar reason (*cough*the police*cough*) Drikkepress arrived like almost two hours late, so we didn't really have a lot of time to swoosh around. But we did go on the bumper cars, which was supercool, and the dragon and the squid. The Dragon's the best, it was funky. We bought giant icecreams, and Elin had icecream on her nose, and we also had popcorn! Yay! Popcorn.
At the giant kransekake-house (which is a traditional, Norwegian, nutty-flavoured celebration cake (for christmas, weddings, confirmations, May 17th etc.) stacked as a round pyramid) we did the sinus, cosinus and tangens dance. It was geeky, but funky. We also met Iselin at the entrance, she is a childhood friend of mine, she's shy in the beginning, but I think she's about as crazy as the rest of us. She's also an excellent artist, you should see her stuff, it's wicked.
In the end everyone were kind of tired. The Red Lion (the lads' bus that we're occupying) won two awards on tuesday, including their schools' bus of the year and the nicest interior. Which they totally deserved, because they've done such nice stuff to it. But we're all ill or at least semi-ill after Lillehammer, so we weren't up for much of a party in the end, and we just went home. Iselin slept at mines, seeing she lives far away. I'd forgotten my keys, so I had to climb through my attic-window to get in! Today was such a beautiful morning, and I have fruit roll-ups from America that I'm going to surprise Elin with! :)
I'm in such an excellent mood!
Haven't listened quite enough to it yet, but I love it and everyone should get it - it's great. Lots of energy, wonderful lyrics - all in all a worthy and impressive production. Great stuffs!
It somehow has the air of a James Bond soundtrack, or maybe even a little hollywood-tex-mex -ish, funky really. it can stay beatles'ish slow paced for a bit, then it rocks out like it was 1989!
The track highlights are "The Age of The Understatement", "My Mistakes Were Made For You", "Time Has Come Again" and "The Meeting Place". At Least so far <3.
1. Sit in a tree one hour before school starts.
2. Kiss a policeman.
3. Stay awake for 24 hours.
4. Sit underneath your desk for an entire lesson.
5. Sit with one finger in your ear for an entire lesson.
6. Buy drive-in food at McDonalds in a shopping cart.
7. Eat a hamburger in two bites. (puh)
8. Drive around a roundabout ten times.
9. Been to Tryvann.
10. Watched an episode of Postman Pat and had a sip each time he gears his car wrong.
11. Pink feather! oohoh000oohh!
And I just looove that pig! It's gorgeous!
For those who don't know, I've been to Lillehammer this weekend as part of the russetid. There was this giant party, but it rained and it was muddy, which is why I'm a little reduced at the moment. On the brithg side, it was a blast, and I even took some pictures! You can see them here if you'd like.
//rave on. "Zomygawhd!" - quote, Skjalg.
I might fill you in laterz.