Norwegian Exam

During our exam I wrote this in a separate word document:

(it's very long, don't know if you should bother to read it).

I must say, writing this essay will probably drive me insane. I have to sit here quietly for five hours – which, to be honest, isn’t the least bit fair. I only just got my voice back, and now they’re refusing me to use it, just because of this ridiculous examination. No thank you, I say. I’d rather stand about and chat, maybe eat some lefse, have a good day – enjoy myself, and then. When I’m quite done with that, I’d rather NOT know what bloody subject I’m having my next exam in, because frankly, I don’t want to know! Well I do, it’s just, I kind of get the feeling it’s going to be maths, in fact I’m like 100% sure about it, because it’s so typical. And if that is the case (which it most likely is – it may postpone my future with at least a year!) The bitches. Going off, wrecking my future like that. They have quite a nerve.

I’m just sitting here, staring out the window. The fact that I have food is actually stressing me a lot. I can’t seem to be able to do any proper work until I’ve eaten it all! It’s that damn Spumante Syndrome; if there’s any food at the table I’ll continue to eat. This is of course regulated by whose food it is, if it’s any good, and if my body can handle the masses. I just started eating a lefse now, might as well get on with it. Right?

Hm. I’ve eaten it all now, guessing I actually have to write the assignment. It’s weird to write down my thoughts. That man at the front keeps looking at me, must be because I’m smiling and typing like a madman. I’m wearing glasses too – must make me look smart. Poor Sebastian is having real trouble with his laptop, the IT team keep running around with different wires and plugging them into holes in the wall and attaching them to the PC after. The best of drama they’re going to get this week, well at least they’re making the most of it. Can’t blame them, nothing ever happens here.

That lefse butter sure had a strange texture. I’m wearing too much makeup. It’s because I have to put it on without my glasses on, so basically I can’t see anything, and I keep adding more and more until I look like some kind of monster. Man in front just asked the IT about the correct printer, they’re making a lot of fuss too, neither of the examination “guards” (poor students or retired teachers) have brought books or anything to keep them occupied. They will go crazy now, poor chaps. They’re really going to sit there for five hours without anything to read. You’re screwed, man.

Have I mentioned that I’ve got some kind of strange discolouring on my hands? It’s like a mildly pink rash, but it doesn’t itch or make itself present at all. It’s just there, and I don’t know why! Probably stress. I am stressed, this is terrible, I’ve almost written an entire page of thoughts, while only a few keywords for my real assignment. Would’ve been easier if I could write it in English, Norwegian is just too clichéd, it’s impossible to write any of these exam assignments without doing something that has been done already. Sebastians computer is working now, they were very effective. It’s gone all quiet again. Woot, I’ve been here a whole forty minutes already! I usually don’t start doing anything until at least an hour. If I start right away I’ll finish too early and I have to sit and wait. That’s what people don’t understand these days, some cursed creative souls suddenly get struck by lightning and they create something, and they know exactly what – and it’s fast, too. So if I know what to write, it’ll only take a few hours and it’d be done (like in a flash, but longer). Now my left hand hurts, should’ve known it was going to happen, typing away like that, all bitten by the rambling-bug. We must be best friends, anyway – he bites me all the time.

I put a scarf and some hobo-gloves on. Now I can keep warm, but still keep typing! Go team! Oh noes, one of the “guards” has drunk all his water already, poor thirsty soul. The wateromaut is just outside the door, but he probably doesn’t know. It’s like right across the hallway, guess he will remain thirsty, I am not allowed to speak. Perhaps I should drink my water and tempt him with it. Wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do, besides, I don’t have a clue how to drink temptingly. I find that when it comes to tempting, I’m completely lost. Not all of us are born temptresses. I’m glad I didn’t bring any tea, I wouldn’t have got anything done. I’d sit and write, sip my tea, enjoy myself, and then I’d go to the loo, come back, drink some more, write, giggle, have a good time. But I wouldn’t ever really get anywhere with the assignment, no, no, I’d write something long and really silly, like this here. That’s my problem, isn’t it? I know myself too well, still I allow myself to do really dumb things, because I know I’m going to do them anyway.

Last night I dreamt about kebabs, and about being russ, I dream a lot about the russetid actually. Slightly nostalgic you know. Skjalg ate my kebab, that’s what happened in the dream. The bastard. The guard just walked Christina to the lavatory and back, she looked very smug coming back in again, I guess by her book he’s defined as attractive, the other one probably plays world of warcraft. Speaking of which, I worked out a strategy last night, to just come in here and say something like “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to do very good on this here exam, I have resurrection sickness you see. And I didn’t have a lot of time to revise either, because you see I was dead for like a week”. I just deflated. Maybe I should get some sleep? Probably not a good idea, what if I don’t wake up in time to write my assignment? It’s been an hour now, I’ve written this and stared out the window.

Hm. I was just writing something, and I dozed off at the end of a word, so all I could see were a whole array, or more like half a page of rrr’s. Disturbing. Wops, seems I fell asleep again. Twenty minutes on the ear does you good! I feel much better now. Just need to stay awake. Hold on, twenty minutes? Yes, yes that’s right. Puh, I thought I’d slept for an hour! The birds are singing, and the sun is out. It’s very nice, I want to go outside and look at the big, yellow cranes.

Ooh, one of the guards just unrolled a copy of National Geographic, and he’s looking at them beautiful, glossy pages full of colourful pictures. I want to do that as well. I love the world too! Just like Discovery Channel. And he’s filled his waterbottle. Wow, and he waited until 11:30. I’d be dead by then, if I couldn’t have slept. We did have a guard once that fell asleep, rather loudly, with mellow, scraping sounds emitting from her nose. It was priceless, you should have been there. She was a strange character, she used to hang about the classrooms, but she didn’t really know anything. If we asked her for help, she never had an answer, even though she offered herself all the time. The circumstances around her were mysterious anyway, one day she just… disappeared. And when we asked the other teachers about her, they’d just laugh and smile and say “oh yes, her!” as much to themselves as the world in general. And they’d walk away, absent-mindedly, and we never got a real answer from them.

I just started to eat my banana, it’s very nice. So far I’ve only written 522 words on my assignment, and I just have two and half hours left. Turns out I’m having a really hard time thinking of a way to write down all the things I know about the subject. It’s too much. It’d been easier if I didn’t know anything at all. And I want banana and lime cake please. For some reason I rolled my sleeves up, and I have freckles on my arms. Looks kind of strange, doesn’t it? I was raised by arms that look like that, but I still think they look a bit weird on myself. Sebastians computer look a bit sick, it has all those cables and wires into it, like it has to be kept alive, because it can’t live on its own. Haha, while as I have written 473 words (yeah, I deleted a whole lot) on my real assignment, this wall of text is on 1 509 words! Pathetic, Tora, pathetic!

The food is driving me insane, I’m blaming it for this. I keep looking at it, and then I can’t concentrate, so I’m eating it all now, so I can focus for a bit. It is weird how people move and behave when they try to be quiet. One of the examination guards has put his lunchbox on the floor underneath the desk, I haven’t really understood why, but I think he’s done it so the other guard wont see him eat. But why does that matter? People sure are weird. Why would the other object to him eating? He probably hasn’t eaten in hours, and he NEEDS to eat, by the look of him. He’s tall and lanky. I just understood why he hid his food. I was just looking at him eat, and the other guard (which is charming, I must say) was looking at it like an alligator looks at a blind goat. I thought I heard rain, it sounded refreshing, but it wasn’t rain, it was something else. But I don’t know what. I hope I get to have my exam on law studies, it’s dead easy. Hans Jørgen said that if he also got to do a Law studies exam we’d study together, at the cinema.

Gods, I’m so full right now, but the last lefse is teasing me, and it’s literally driving me off my hinges. Eeeep. I’m really happy now, full of energy and good mood. I don’t know why, because my assignment has been stuck for some time now. Maybe I’ll read through the description again and see if I’ve missed out on something important (again). Yes sir, it wouldn’t be the first time. No sir. Everybody is coughing, I feel a lot better than I have in several days. Christina is sitting behind me, and she’s tapping at her keyboard so hard, I’m getting kind of worried she’ll break it. The noise also bothers me a little, if only we could have listened to music while doing this, it’d been so much easier! An hour left now. Crikey. I still just have 785 words. Or less, actually, after I delete that paragraph I don’t like anyway.
Muuh. Yay! I have written 1 077 words. I finally tipped the 1000th word, about bloody time, only like half an hour left now.

The time is 13:37! Yay! Whoo... ho.

Ooh deary, deary me. A girl just asked what year we got our constitution. Ooh dear. How can she not remember that? That’s incredible, I wish I had recorded that. We only just celebrated that day on Saturday, it’s less than a week ago! Silly girl. Oh, time is up in ten minutes. At least I finished in time. Better print it. Thanks for the chat, honey! :D


Replica said...

I giggled. Loudly.

I didn't get a written English exam this year, which is terrible. I have a way better grasp on the English language than the Norwegian one. It's way easier to string together coherent sentences in English than in Norwegian, it helps my train of thought immensely.

Just look at me co. Coherent. Immensely. I don't know the Norwegian equivalent of semi-advanced words without having to look it up in the dictionary. How pathetic is that?

Anyhow, the aforementioned train of thought slowly drifted away. I bet it started the vacation early. Fucking bastard.

My original point was that I'm not getting an exam in written English, which means I'm way more likely to get an exam in written Norwegian. Balls. Replica does not approve of such heresy.

...I'm so going to move to the UK whenever I get the chance.

Witchieboobs said...

Exams are horrible. It's so hard to get enough words down on the paper, because I cannot decide how I wanna express the thoughts I have... What to include, what to not include, how to write it, what order, how is the structure gonna be of the text etc. By the end of the time, I'm never ever happy with what I've written.

Though I use a lot of the time during an exam to set new records in Minesweeper. Or complete 4-color Spider Solitaire. Don't you do that? :o

Kida said...

Better than Mama!

Audun said...

Urgh, I have the same problem with Norwegian vs English.

Did you lot get a Get-out-of-jail-free card on the new-Norwegian exam with the strikes and all then? I just had mine, and I got my oral exam in norwegian tomorrow. Wish me good luck!

Tora said...


Foss said...

I agree with Tora.

Back to Top