And like eleven pints of grog

What exactly is grog? I don't think I've ever understood what it is. Is it some kind of drink? Grog must be the ever expanding mass of discomfort that fills your body up to your eyes when you're hungover. That's where the term groggy comes from. That's what I think.

I was at Ulrik's place last night, had a laugh with the guys (or some of the guys), they had beer and I had bitchpop and snap n' crackle. Had a great time actually! But ended up crashing there and sat chatting until 5:30 in the morning. I arrived at work one and a half hours ago. Meaning I've slept about three hours last night.

So I can't help feeling the grog rushing around my system like poison, my eyes are bloodshot and I think my coordination is affected by the grog as well. Gheurgh. It is the reason why I get hangover so easily, the second I don't get enough sleep I know I'm going to feel like shit the next morning. In combination with loads of sugar and alcohol - hangovers tend to be rather brutal with me.

But right now it's just grog. Too much grog. Grog and ... Grog. Can't even be creative, it is the grog. Preferably spelled with an h. Grogh. Could be an artist's name, Van Grogh. But it isn't. It is just liquid evil.


Oh please, I know I am always told that I defend my own laziness when criticizing something. But I was just standing around, looking at people passing me when I realized why I in real life find skinny women to be uninteresting. Let me allow myself to semi base this on the song "Me and My Imagination" by Sophie Ellis Baxtor. Because even though it is not the same point she is confronting - I am going to write about something down the same alley at least.

Skinny, thin women - longlegged, wide-eyed - with high, sharp cheekbones; they look great. They look great in photographs, in expensive dresses, they look great in a film or in a music video - light and fragile like starved birds. I have always found beauty in the human skeleton, I have, really - it is fascinating and wondeful like a cathedral, a praise to God in its architechtural genius.

But in reality. In reality there is nothing unsolved or mysterious in skin and bones, nothing to be curious about. There are few curves to explore but the dents in between the ribs, few areas that would feel soft or comfortable to the touch. Obviously there is no use in having a wonderful build, when you have no weight to compliment it. This has become an obsession, especially in showbusiness - our ideal for beauty is inconveivable to most, and has grown forth by photo manipulation and CGI. What can I say? I am not saying that you have to be a berg of intergalactic scale, or even close, to be attractive or alluring. But focus is sliding from "Being able to give birth to healthy children" and "Being able to survive the winter and lift heavy loads" to "weighing as little as possible".

In the UK, nearly 2 in every 100 secondary school girls suffer from anorexia nervosa,
bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder.

Weight loss and getting healthier are often misconcepted for being the same thing. Becoming healthier doesn't necessarily mean that losing weight will get you there. Having a healthy varied diet, living a good life, moving your body and being in general at peace with your own body - does not concede with our beauty ideals.

An estimated 10 per cent of female college students suffer from a clinical or sub-clinical (borderline) eating disorder, of which over half suffer from bulimia nervosa.

Needless to explain, this does not account when being overweight, but obviously there is a difference in being fat and feeling fat. What defines being fat? Every body is different, no body grows or develops the same way - therefore, not every human body can be 175 cm and still weigh 45 kiloes. And whatever happened to having fun? When the ideal of being thin completely dominates our ability to enjoy ourselves - then what is the point in living? "She looked great in everything she wore, but she never let go. She was a killjoy."

An estimated 1 in 3 of all dieters develop compulsive dieting attitudes and behaviors. Of these, one quarter will develop full or partial eating disorders.

Don't change who you are and what you are for the sake of fitting into something that society is telling you to fit into. Because I love you, and I will always appreciate you no matter what you look like. I'm not telling you to ignore the common concept of beauty, I am telling you to sacrifice it for the sake of your health, your human body.

I'm only saying you should "... Leave something/For me and my imagination..."

By the way, this is my post #800!

Star Wreck

Acoording to my sources this film is the first ever Finnish sci-fi parody. Supposedly a fine humoristic blend of Star Wars and Babylon 5. Worth a peek?

"Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning is a feature-length sci-fi parody, seven years in the making. It is the product of a core group of five Finns, and over 300 extras, assistants and supporters. The film combines world-class visual effects, a rough-and-ready sense of humour, and a passion that provide the basis for the first-ever Finnish science fiction adventure. "



This beautiful freeware program called paint.net (which can be found, ironically - at www.paint.net or www.getpaint.net) is a fabulously liberating application. It's user interface is simple and has followed every rule of intuitive learning. In other words - easy as peas to use and learn how to use. The program is in itself is like a soft blend of PhotoShop and MS Paint, simplified, but brilliantly creative and inviting. I am actually impressed by it's strength and professional options considering it is free.

If you are an experienced computer artist that swear to applications like PhotoShop, Gimp or CorelDraw-- you might find paint.net to be a little retarded. But compared to other freeware paint programs (like Rita) paint.net is exquisite and simply a jewel. It's great for random doodling, clipboard activities, detailed drawings or even light photo manipulation! Look at this for example:

Just a regular photo:

A few clicks in paint.net:

Both effective and impressive! (Look at the eye, seriously - it only took a second using one of the effects!) I am baffled and pleased. Paint.net and I, we shall be friends.

Time fly! Smile!

It's a nice morning in many ways, it is quite enticing and light outside, even though it is still early, and still undoubtfully winter. We are all eagerly anticipating spring - with such a naive spirit I suppose, it might seem we are not fully believing it will ever come. Norwegians do this a lot I think, we all like to think about better times ahead - and we helplessly forget the good time we should be trying to have right now.

When I move out I want to have my own place, just a roof over my head that I can shape into whatever I want. A place where I am free to break all rules of regular housekeeping, not by the means of neglecting housework or keeping it untidy. That I have to wear a cauldron over my head because the items in my fridge are celebrating the anniversary of their expiry date in a loud fashion. --I mean break the real basic rules, like not having identical plates or cups, have an own cupboard just for glitter, christmas lights all year round - store the sugar in a jewellery box. If more people found general happiness in such things as these, maybe they wouldn't be bombing themselves and each other to bits all the time. But then a lot of the reason for conflict is that so many people are unable to mess around with basic rules - because they have nothing to mess around with. No home or no family.

It annoys me how much I live for the sake of tomorrow. Always preparing or expecting something that is to come - oblivious to what that is here and now. Such ungratefulness to complain about what we have to save up for - or what hardship lies ahead, when we at least can reasonably expect to live until that day comes. Time flies! Remember to put a smile on somebody's face today! Because ultimately - you live a good life when you catch yourself smiling often, and find that others smile in return.


Sometimes I feel like there's not enough glitter in my life, or like there never really can be enough glitter either. 

We were out last night, so I've been fragile and a little reduced all day - but I got to see "Saawariya" again, so it was great, really! Just during the past months I've become more and more of a total Bollywood fan, I'm always searching for new, fun bollywood songs on youtube, or a good film on imdb. Even right now I'm listening to "My Dil Goes Hmm..." from the film "Salaam Namaste", it's terrible! Gosh, ever heard such a ridiculous song your entire life? Yeah? It means "My Heart Goes Hmm..." and it's horrible, it's just that it's so incredibly catchy.

I can't stop humming that song! Aaah! Still I don't want to see "Salaam Namaste" though, it looks lousy - especially in comparison to "Saawariya".  It doesn't look that esthetically appealing, where's the glitter, man?!

The glitter!

I'm on my third version of my romantic fairytale Soneera, I just never seem to get it right! But at the moment I'm extremely pleased, it's taking a popculture-tainted, dwelling atmosphere turn that I find appealing.

Happy Up Here - Röyksopp

Elin and I were up at Trysil this weekend, and it literally snowed the entire time we were there. We went snowboarding and ate too much food and sweets, seriously. And we filmed this in the snow - set to the new Röyksopp single "Happy Up Here"!


Spam and hair

Do any of you get those spam-letters from Danish-sex-short stories.dk? I'm just asking, for no particular reason. Or, because I get them on my hotmail sometimes. I think the correct address is danskesexnoveller.dk, or something, you can't really be sure with those danes. (To make it more confusing, the word for short story is "novelle" in Norwegian and in Danish).

It's hard to describe exactly how much fun it is to read the descriptions on those e-mails, because you've had to have heard Danish to understand what massive comedy potential it has. Everything sounds funny in Danish, I'm sure you could tell me I've got terminal herpes in Danish and I'd still laugh my ass off. I think erotic short stories has a lot of comedy potential in themselves actually, and then imagine them in Danish. Aaah, just the thought makes me laugh.

If I find one in my inbox again, I'll be sure to let you know. and maybe I'll dare to read it just to make my day. In other news - the Russian hairdresser that I pass on my way to school is always styling a wig whenever there's no customers there. And when I passed him the other morning - he had two customers, looked like mother and daughter. But the interesting thing here was that they all had the same haircut. The hairdresser, the mother, the daughter and the wig. They looked a bit like medevial troubadours. I wonder if they will go touring.

(I drew that sheep in paint, by the way. But it's all true, they cover it up, but it's the truth)


Do you ever feel cursed by creativity? Ever? Right now I feel like every day is too short, there is so much I need to do! "The Scientist" is getting along very well, in addition I'm learning "Bella's Lullaby" from Twilight (I know! *giggles*) and obviously "Comptine d'un autre été l'apres midi." That is one of my favourite piano pieces of all time! (But right now it's killing my right hand, I think it just might be too small for hitting keys with seven keys in-between! So I am taking a break - by typing vigorously on my keyboard).

Anyway I have a whole ceiling I need to plaster with more drawings and I need to finish all the stories I'm writing and I want to finish that program I'm programming and create a youtube make-up channel for insane transvestite-looks and you know -- everything! And I have many CD's I need to burn, but this piano is currently taking up so much time. I've been sitting here by it for three hours today. If I had only been this dedicated when I first started playing the piano aaages ago - then I could've drawn a drawing right now, or written a novel! Damnit!

In other news, what's up? I am trapped in my own insane head and it's driving me crazy because time is flashing by like days in milliseconds!

Edit: I just remembered that I used to be able to play "Ballade Pour Adeline" like really well. *snort* But it's all gone now!

My piano!

Oy I got my beautiful keyboard back! My stunning Roland FP-3 Piano! And Skjalg carried it up to my attic room for me, so I can play it whenever I want! Actually I've been thinking about it for a long time, and now I finally have it here! Being overwhelmed with excitement, I just jumped right into it and relearned "Feel" by Robbie Williams, so I can play it properly again. I had to do it by ear, but it's strange how the brain works - sometimes when I was in doubt of a transition I could just play the first bit and my hand would just hop right to the correct place. Still took me ages, but feels great to have brought it back after neglecting it for so long.

Seeing I was so inspired I also learnt "The Scientist" by Coldplay from a youtube tutorial, but I must admit I can't play it that well yet. But we'll see! Next I want to learn some Keane songs. And a happy piano song, like saloon style, or a jazz riff. And obviously I want to learn a cocktail party small-talk, mingle-mood, half-jazzy piano rape. You know when a white-haired man in a tux just lets his fingers tickle the piano to create this relaxed background-noise that really sets the voice-lever of everybody to 1.5 above comfortable, but it's not a problem - because all the women are wearing slim-fit dresses, which means that their voices are naturally pitched to "despair-and-torture-of-sequin-and-champagne". If I write my own background-jazzy-piece, I'll call it that. I think it is a fitting title.

Anyway. Cimcim, mushimushi! (And it is so mild in Oslo!)
(Note: I also learned how to play Curves (see previous post), it took me about five seconds, as it is basically just the repitition of two notes, but now I know how - and it's still a beautiful song).

Soneera, based on a dream

I have yet again started to write a new book, which is terrible of me. It is a fairytale that I dreamt the other night, I just wanted to write it down as soon as possible, because I was afraid to lose the essence of it. Right? Working title is Soneera, which is a Sanskrit name that means "Clear Water" at least according to the internet. It is very much a fairytale, but also very much arabian nights and a little pshychedelic magic. Whoopdedoo!

As usual, music is playing a big part in this. While my other story P Lot was based on the song "Eve" by Emancipator, and AGXH-3 was based on "Being Bad Feels Really Good" by Does it Offend you Yeah? Soneera is based on "Curves" by Røyksopp and the soundtrack of Saawariya. It will be interesting to see how long this story will be actually, because technically my dream only lasted a couple of seconds.

Curves by Røyksopp:

In the Twilight

I'm really sorry, but Twilight really struck a nerve with me. My forever-seventeen-hopelessly-I-believe-in-love-and-romance-nerve, I believe only girls have it. And misunderstand me right, right? The film's cheesy and the filming is so awkward and badly cut together it sometimes made my jaws drop. Someone should've done the make-up less cakey and the screenplay should've been written differently (some lines were so unnatural they didn't even make sense). But apart from this (and some other minor, annoying things) this film was like the perfect romantic fairytale and made my heart wiggle around my chest like a happy little fairy. Or at least my FSHIBILR-Nerve wiggled.

That, and - "Cedric Diggory" (Robert Pattinson) really IS good looking. I mean, DANG - I have to eat my own hat off for this. he's a little average looking, like he's handsome in a generic way, but he's definitely got a twinkle in his eye that I DON'T like! It is much like Jude Law's twinkle, inappropriately attractive.

I guess the electrifyingly good chemistry between the leads was really the only good thing about this film. But then, I wouldn't necessarily demand more than that to like it. If only just an incy-wincy bit. Actually I saw this at the premiere, with Audun - and there were lots of girls screaming almost whenever Pattinson appeared on screen, which was hilarious and deafening at the same time! Like a flock of birds screeching over a fishing boat.

The acting of Jackson Rathbone was incredible, pure genius, he looked as if he had a carrot up his bum the entire film. Great! Had me in stitches. (It was the point though, he had to look as if he was restraining himself and being in pain - at once).

Tonight, at work

I told him about pans and about cauldrons and pots, and he asked politely and was curious about everything. When I stopped talking, he still wanted more - so he said, "tell me about pans." and I said -"What do you want to know about pans?" and he said "Everything." So I told him everything, or at least all that I know and all that I could think of. So I talked about the quality of different pans, and that after a while a teflon pan will wear off no matter what, that in the end it will start to shake off the teflon like dandruff, and that this is poisonous. he said -"The entire family's got green, festering boils all over, maybe it is time I get a new pan!" I hadn't caught him as a man with a sense of humour previously, but then he had only been my customer for five minutes. I remained serious and I said -"This often occurs, you better wash them all with salt and lemonjuice." Then we made jokes about high-fashion cooking and cuisine and how snotty it is. Then I told him about chicken and how to handle the chicken-pan ratio. He bought a good pan, but I wanted him to stay for a little longer, because tonight I was in the shop all by myself, and it was lonely.

In the sportswear shop I tried the pink skiing jumpsuit that is insanely awesome, and almost as good looking as the guy who works there. He offered me 30% off, but it is still shit expensive though. We then talked about snow and about snowboarding and he was really cool.

Christmas is here!

Very very very soon! Hurra!


My Final Will and Testament

This is another picture from Portugal, from a graveyard in Lisbon, I just really liked that the skull only had one tooth. It was kind of cheeky.

I know very well that this isn’t a valid testament of any kind – and that nobody are forced by law to act according to it, but I know that it is my will. And in respect of the dead I suppose one should feel a little pressed. It wasn’t written in a bewildered moment, or in a time when I was madder or weirder than I already otherwise am, or was.

There are few things that need to be taken into consideration in the occasion of my death. I do not have a lot of value or worth to anyone except for that value my belongings have to me. Of course this must not be neglected, but in the end these things are only just things, and what really matters is that people are put before things. And this is something that I feel very strongly about.

I want my body to be donated to science! Because I have spent little of my life devoting myself to science, I am now suggesting to strike it even – if my mind were of no use to invention, then perhaps my body has. I do not want it buried, just burn it if science has no need for it. I surely have no need for it anymore. My ashes do not need a fancy jar or an elegant amphora – just throw it out in the garden and grow some grass on it.

I don’t really need a tombstone, as I am not buried, but it someone sentimental want a place to come and sing me a song or tell me a joke (I might not physically be there, but wherever I will be, I’ll listen hard for it!) – you may feel free to chop up a bit of rock and throw it somewhere convenient. In which case there should be a skull on it, just draw it with a permanent marker, no need to engrave and all that. If you’re feeling generous, I want the writing on my tombstone to be as follows:
“Tora” (You may skip a few of my names to cut the cost!)
“20.07.1989 – xx.xx.xxxx”

And in the event of my funeral I want you to play “Your Eyes Open” by Keane. Not only because I love that song, and that I have probably heard it more than any other song in my life. But because every arrogant bastard in my funeral will have to show some flipping respect and let the eyes sweat a bit. That’s what I think.

I am not dying, for the record -- I just thought I'd be well prepared!

Happy new year!

This is another picture I took in Portugal, it is my sister in the corner there. I love this picture, the mood is fairytale-like.
In other news, happy new year! I don't have the time to write you another ridiculously strange post about nothing in particular, because I am writing a novel and my last will and testament. Not because I am expecting to die, but because if you are not prepared - how are you supposed to live? Enough about life and death, have some biscuits!

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