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My Final Will and Testament

This is another picture from Portugal, from a graveyard in Lisbon, I just really liked that the skull only had one tooth. It was kind of cheeky.

I know very well that this isn’t a valid testament of any kind – and that nobody are forced by law to act according to it, but I know that it is my will. And in respect of the dead I suppose one should feel a little pressed. It wasn’t written in a bewildered moment, or in a time when I was madder or weirder than I already otherwise am, or was.

There are few things that need to be taken into consideration in the occasion of my death. I do not have a lot of value or worth to anyone except for that value my belongings have to me. Of course this must not be neglected, but in the end these things are only just things, and what really matters is that people are put before things. And this is something that I feel very strongly about.

I want my body to be donated to science! Because I have spent little of my life devoting myself to science, I am now suggesting to strike it even – if my mind were of no use to invention, then perhaps my body has. I do not want it buried, just burn it if science has no need for it. I surely have no need for it anymore. My ashes do not need a fancy jar or an elegant amphora – just throw it out in the garden and grow some grass on it.

I don’t really need a tombstone, as I am not buried, but it someone sentimental want a place to come and sing me a song or tell me a joke (I might not physically be there, but wherever I will be, I’ll listen hard for it!) – you may feel free to chop up a bit of rock and throw it somewhere convenient. In which case there should be a skull on it, just draw it with a permanent marker, no need to engrave and all that. If you’re feeling generous, I want the writing on my tombstone to be as follows:
“Tora” (You may skip a few of my names to cut the cost!)
“20.07.1989 – xx.xx.xxxx”
“Hurra!”

And in the event of my funeral I want you to play “Your Eyes Open” by Keane. Not only because I love that song, and that I have probably heard it more than any other song in my life. But because every arrogant bastard in my funeral will have to show some flipping respect and let the eyes sweat a bit. That’s what I think.

I am not dying, for the record -- I just thought I'd be well prepared!

7 Comments!:

Foss said...

A sad post!

If you want to donate your body to science, Britain is crying out for brrraaaains: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7813114.stm

Audun said...

In Norway, if any of your organs are to be donated, your relatives have to give their consent (Since you'll be dead at this point). So the most important thing to do is to make sure that both your father and mother knows that you want to donate stuff.

Bobo said...

Actually you can get a "donation card" I think, at the farmacy or your doctor, so your pa and ma wont get to have a say in it. I think. I think.

Foss said...

We have the donor card here, too.

If you carry a donor card, your organs go to help people that need them after you die.

I think it'd be much better the other way around. Like, after you die, your organs to go help other people unless you carry a card that says you don't want it to happen.

Make organ donation mandatory. Yeah.

Audun said...

You can get donor cards yes, but they'll still ask your parents:

Fast praksis er som følger:

Når donasjon er aktuelt skal helsepersonell alltid spørre de pårørende om de kjenner den avdødes holdning til donasjon. Dersom avdøde hadde tatt en positiv beslutning, enten muntlig eller skiftlig i form av for eksempel et donorkort, er det denne som skal legges til grunn for gjennomføring av donasjon.

Dersom pårørende likevel sterkt motsetter seg donasjon har donoransvarlig lege under visse omstendigheter anledning til å avvike fra avdødes ønske.

Dersom de pårørende gir uttrykk for at de ikke kjenner den avdødes holdning til donasjon, men ikke motsetter seg dette, kan donasjon gjennomføres.

I tilfeller der den avdødes holdning til donasjon var negativ, gjennomføres ikke donasjon selv om de pårørende skulle stille seg positiv til dette.


From Helsenett.no.

So if your parents oppose, even a donor card won't make a difference. But the cards are still nice for letting the doctor peoples knowing how you feel about it all.

Brrraaaains.

Tora said...

Så ultimat teit at noen liksom skal bestemme over en dæv person sin kropp, den er jo fullstendig ubrukelig, om ikke for å redde noen andre sitt liv. Folk kan være så egoistiske.

Audun said...

In principle I agree with Foss, make it mandatory.

But questions of death and life invokes a LOT of feelings in a lot of people, it's a sensitive topic, and we have to accept that, regardless of whether it's rational or not.

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