choo choo

tuff. tuff, tuff, tuff, tuff, tuff, tuff, tuff,

The obvious "if"

I would have got an A, if I got all my answers right.
I would have had long nails, if they didn't break so easy.
I would have had long hair, if I didn't cut it.
I would have been there, if I wasn't late.
He would still be alive, if I didn't kill him.
I could get there easily, if I knew the way there.
I would have known who he was, if I'd met him before.
I would have known the words, if I'd heard the song before.
I would have done it, if I did.
I would have been warm, if I wore more clothes.

I would have been smarter, if I was more intelligent.
Keiko would still be alive, if he didn't die.
McDonalds wouldn't get you fat, if the food wasn't so unhealthy.
The floor wouldn't have been so fucking cold, if I didn't live in an igloo.

I would be a happy person, if I lived somewhere it wasn't fucking freezing.

see?

This is what you wear in hell

Just that it's too short for your legs so it's pulling your knickers down when you walk.
has to be an invention by the devil. Pure evil.

So, this is what happened

We were sitting, quite peacefully, by the edge of the river
not a disturbance in the water, not a cloud in the sky,
not an embarressment in the air made us shiver.
The sun was quite close by.

We were holding hands and watching as,
a fat lady was undressing by the waterfall.
as a sealion she embarked, on her breath taking quest,
across the narrow river.

We didn't smirk and didn't smile,
but a laugh was tight between us.
And love made me stick to you, as we sat there for a while .
And not even a sealion could break the glue.

What silly dreamers we are,
what stupid things we do,
it would be so much easier to love,
if I was really there with you.

Ted Nugent called..

He wants his shirt back..

With love, Ms. "I-Bought-A-Shirt-In-London-Last-Year-That-Must-Have-Been-A-Curtain"

TO THA TOILET!!1

Whenever one flushes a toilet, everything in it sinks, it goes silent and only the water comes back up again.

Whenever someone gets into an elevator, everybody in it sinks, it goes silent and only the elevator comes back up again.

hmmm.. I'm noticing a pattern...