You asked for it.
4
I know that nobody likes my music posts, but I can't consider everyone else all the time!
GO listen!
Oh, and this youtube comment was kind of funny:
Puffed Rice
Puffed rice is actually quite nice I think, it's cheap and chewy and it can be used for all sorts of things. Like pillow-stuffing, imitation maggots, navel fluff substitute, to dam up when you're having a nosebleed, and when you are in the need of cellulites and you can't wait for it and you can just stick some puffed rice under your skin right away. Puffed rice also sounds to straightforward to be real, it sounds like a codename for a drug. It really does.
Puffed rice is though very convenient when you wake up and you really want 3000 of something. Don't get me wrong here, I really, truly like puffed rice, I really do. The thing with puffed rice is though that it tastes next to nothing, but if it does taste something, it tastes I imagine what a small rodent farts in your mouth after having an alternative health enema tastes like. Especially those chocolates with puffed rice in them, though I suppose if that floats your boat I can only suggest you get another bag of those, or see someone about it. Which is fine by me, honestly.
Also another thing is that puffed rice is just steamed rice grains that have been under a lot of pressure, someone could say that it's sort of like lumps of coal becoming diamonds. Well, it sort of isnt. It sort of just becomes slightly bigger grains of rice that sort of weighs almost nothing and that sort of doesn't taste anything and sort of lacks a purpose. It is like dropping your dunking biscuit in your hot beverage and forget about it! Because by the time you come back to get it, right - it's twice the size but it's disgusting, it is also terribly hard to get rid of. It is not as if somebody comes over with an empty cup, knocks and goes "Sorry, I ehm-- could I borrow a cup of mushy biscuit? No? You don't have any either, eh? Hmm. Well could I have some puffed rice?" That never happens, they never really ask for that. They ask tricky questions like "Where were you last wednesday? Do you know this man? Is this your Calamari?"
And what am I supposed to say to that? "Hey dude, chill man, come in and have some puffed rice!" I can't say that-- seriously!
It's a TRAP
I was just thinking because today is a rainy day and that’s really depressing because there used to be snow and now all there is left is kind of a cold, lumpy slush that’s salty and slippery with blackened corners of pollution spread around over the rotten leaves. And I’m thinking like – what’s this supposed to mean, right? I mean, I thought I lived in Norway for a reason, isn’t there supposed to be snow? I mean what is going on? There has to be some kind of guarantee. Like when I was born it came with my birth certificate like “You know hi and thanks for coming out, this is Norway all very nice, hope you were born with skis on because that’s how we shake it here. On your arrival we’ll guarantee you a lifetime of white Christmases, expensive public transport, no drinking liquor ‘til you’re at least 20 and when the first snow falls everybody will panic as if it hasn’t been snowing here for the last ten gazillion years. Yours truly, the Norwegian government”. I rummaged through all my drawers and pulled out everything I could find but it was all just drawings of happy homes and snowmen and other things I remember jotting down carelessly with a bit of oil paint on canvas as a mere infant and I thought – man. Dude, they have removed the evidence!On the other hand I think maybe I was having a bit of a trip there because I honestly can’t remember using any oil paint during my childhood.
Feature Post: Audun: Christmas
Christmas is right around the corner, , and just like anything that is right around that all too well-known corner, chances are you'll walk straight into it. Because of this, I have been asked to provide some in-depth information about this beloved time of the year.
Christmas gets it name from the chemical element Christmasium. Christmasium has the unique property that it will radiate energy when cooled down, rather than being heated up, as is the case with most other substances. This energy is radiated as cherub-waves, which look like this:
When cherub-waves hit other particles, it first transforms into light. If this light hits particles with specific properties, such as for example the carbon compounds found in sugar, then this light will transform further into joy and happiness. This is why children often are happier than adults at Christmas, as the sugar levels in their blood generally is higher.
Origin
Christmasium is created under high pressure and temperature over 200 hectic millimetres under the surface of the earth. Since gold and diamond is created under the same circumstances, christmasium will often contain traces of these matters, causing christmasium to glow and sparkle. Arctic areas, such as the north pole, northern Norway and Finland is known have large concentrations of christmasium in the ground, and many people in these areas make a living by extracting it. Uncovering it is usually done by keeping large herds of reindeer which will dig for it with their hooves. The christmasium must then be kept warm in order to contain its energy.
Discovery
Christmas has been known to man for millennia. The first descriptions of the substance can be found in old Egyptian hieroglyphs, and there are also references to christmasium in Roman recordings of Hannibal's crossing of the Alps. However, it was not until year 643 AD that the matter was determined as a chemical element. This was done by the viking chemist Gveirdfinn Sveleson. The vikings had mined christmasium for many years before that, and it is believed that the goal of Gveirdfinn's research to was to improve the efficiency of the mining processes, as the vikings had recently begun to export it to foreign countries. The vikings called the substance «Jol», as it was stored and used in great quantities during their annual mid-winter feasts, Joleblot. Gveirfinn thus gave it the chemical name Jolium. He writes in his chemical journal; «Gvanungar heitar rakti, honungor rakjt vitjahord.» No one has any idea what that is supposed to mean, but modern linguists has said that if they were to have a wild guess, they would guess it meant something like «I once bought a spoon, and it was
bent.»
Modern name
The first mention of the name christmasium being used is found in a Catholic church book from the late 900's, where it is described that the bride was given by the groom «4 pounds of the purest christmas, kept in crates of stone filled with hot coals to contain its heavenly powers» (translated from old latin).
It is believed that as Christianity adopted the tradition of a mid-winter feast, it also adopted the use of Jolium, as the vikings did much trade with European countries at this time. The ending of the word quickly disappeared in common use, and today it is simply known as Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Audun
Remember to visit Auduns blog at www.Dontstabmeplix.blogspot.com or www.Lamegunner.com!!
Christmas gets it name from the chemical element Christmasium. Christmasium has the unique property that it will radiate energy when cooled down, rather than being heated up, as is the case with most other substances. This energy is radiated as cherub-waves, which look like this:
When cherub-waves hit other particles, it first transforms into light. If this light hits particles with specific properties, such as for example the carbon compounds found in sugar, then this light will transform further into joy and happiness. This is why children often are happier than adults at Christmas, as the sugar levels in their blood generally is higher.
Origin
Christmasium is created under high pressure and temperature over 200 hectic millimetres under the surface of the earth. Since gold and diamond is created under the same circumstances, christmasium will often contain traces of these matters, causing christmasium to glow and sparkle. Arctic areas, such as the north pole, northern Norway and Finland is known have large concentrations of christmasium in the ground, and many people in these areas make a living by extracting it. Uncovering it is usually done by keeping large herds of reindeer which will dig for it with their hooves. The christmasium must then be kept warm in order to contain its energy.
Discovery
Christmas has been known to man for millennia. The first descriptions of the substance can be found in old Egyptian hieroglyphs, and there are also references to christmasium in Roman recordings of Hannibal's crossing of the Alps. However, it was not until year 643 AD that the matter was determined as a chemical element. This was done by the viking chemist Gveirdfinn Sveleson. The vikings had mined christmasium for many years before that, and it is believed that the goal of Gveirdfinn's research to was to improve the efficiency of the mining processes, as the vikings had recently begun to export it to foreign countries. The vikings called the substance «Jol», as it was stored and used in great quantities during their annual mid-winter feasts, Joleblot. Gveirfinn thus gave it the chemical name Jolium. He writes in his chemical journal; «Gvanungar heitar rakti, honungor rakjt vitjahord.» No one has any idea what that is supposed to mean, but modern linguists has said that if they were to have a wild guess, they would guess it meant something like «I once bought a spoon, and it was
bent.»
Modern name
The first mention of the name christmasium being used is found in a Catholic church book from the late 900's, where it is described that the bride was given by the groom «4 pounds of the purest christmas, kept in crates of stone filled with hot coals to contain its heavenly powers» (translated from old latin).
It is believed that as Christianity adopted the tradition of a mid-winter feast, it also adopted the use of Jolium, as the vikings did much trade with European countries at this time. The ending of the word quickly disappeared in common use, and today it is simply known as Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Audun
Remember to visit Auduns blog at www.Dontstabmeplix.blogspot.com or www.Lamegunner.com!!
Legs
Having long legs is a great thing, really, I pride myself on my legs. Whenever I’m buying trousers I feel like I’m on a treasure hunt, or, a desperately hungry grandparent looking for his teeth. It’s like looking for a trampoline in a mine shaft, yeah? It’s basically not happening. You never really find the things you’re searching for. Or, actually that’s not true, I do find trousers that fit, even though they would only fit ideally on a giraffe and I have to get them from a friend at the zoo – it’s not a problem. And having long legs is really nice, I mean if you’re swimming from a sunken ship after a terrible storm you’ll reach shore faster, wont you? Yeah, because you hit the bottom sooner. It’s fantastic. And you can use them to stake for corpses whenever there’s a search on for a dead body in the river. When someone’s gaping, all purple and swollen, lying on the bottom with all the fishes – it’s hard to evade a pair of pin-point precision stalks as those I carry with me all the time.
Well, stalks wouldn’t really be correct word here, that makes it sound as if my legs are made of twigs, which they are not. They’re more like five elevator cables wound together to a bouquet of steel – though not as impressive as it sounds, but as thick as it sounds. You have to keep your career options open these days I heard, and it’s great to have natural assets like skin stilts to aid you then. You out of a job, what do you do? “Need a lift? Need an oil-rig? Look! You think I’m in deep shit, well look at you, you’re waist-deep!” Right? There’s no end to the possibilities. Or, they end where your calves connect with the heels. Heels are nice, I once wore a pair of heels, I am thinking of high heels, naturally, not some other persons heels. That’s crazy! Why did you think of that? But anyway, it was back when I was small, a child or something a bit bigger with a slyer grin, when I was in a time of my life where I grew several centimeters at a time. So when I wore heels I became taller than everybody else, it was just that when I took them off again I was still taller. And that was frightening in many ways, I still had fresh in my mind the time I looked up at door handles or could easily walk upright underneath a car, but then suddenly I had the voice of a Peruvian boxer and the beard of a sailor. No wait, I am thinking of some other time. It gets confusing in the end, when you get old like that. But my legs were longer, and so I crossed the road by only tilting my knee and I got an icecream or some green tea – I heard tea makes you stop growing. We’ll see about that.
by
Tora
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