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Puffed Rice


Puffed rice is actually quite nice I think, it's cheap and chewy and it can be used for all sorts of things. Like pillow-stuffing, imitation maggots, navel fluff substitute, to dam up when you're having a nosebleed, and when you are in the need of cellulites and you can't wait for it and you can just stick some puffed rice under your skin right away. Puffed rice also sounds to straightforward to be real, it sounds like a codename for a drug. It really does.

Puffed rice is though very convenient when you wake up and you really want 3000 of something. Don't get me wrong here, I really, truly like puffed rice, I really do. The thing with puffed rice is though that it tastes next to nothing, but if it does taste something, it tastes I imagine what a small rodent farts in your mouth after having an alternative health enema tastes like. Especially those chocolates with puffed rice in them, though I suppose if that floats your boat I can only suggest you get another bag of those, or see someone about it. Which is fine by me, honestly. 

Also another thing is that puffed rice is just steamed rice grains that have been under a lot of pressure, someone could say that it's sort of like lumps of coal becoming diamonds. Well, it sort of isnt. It sort of just becomes slightly bigger grains of rice that sort of weighs almost nothing and that sort of doesn't taste anything and sort of lacks a purpose. It is like dropping your dunking biscuit in your hot beverage and forget about it! Because by the time you come back to get it, right - it's twice the size but it's disgusting, it is also terribly hard to get rid of. It is not as if somebody comes over with an empty cup, knocks and goes "Sorry, I ehm-- could I borrow a cup of mushy biscuit? No? You don't have any either, eh? Hmm. Well could I have some puffed rice?" That never happens, they never really ask for that. They ask tricky questions like "Where were you last wednesday? Do you know this man? Is this your Calamari?"

And what am I supposed to say to that? "Hey dude, chill man, come in and have some puffed rice!" I can't say that-- seriously!

8 Comments!:

Tempus said...

I love puffed Wheat! Ate it alot when i was small, and just the smell of it makes me happy :)

Audun said...

Anything puffed sounds dodgy doesn't it?

Would you like some:
-"Puffed rice"?
-"Puffed mushrooms"?
-"Puffed elephant"?
-"Puffed potato"?
-"Puffed candy"?

If you puff it, it's illegal.

Tora said...

Puff daddy?

Audun said...

Exactly

Audun said...

Are they really pouring honey over their puffed rice on that picture?

Tora said...

Yes, what's wrong with that? You eat it as a breakfast cereal!

Audun said...

Yes, but honey is so sticky! You'd just end up with large honey-flavored blobs of air!

Why not just do, like Winnie Pooh, and eat teh honey, I ask you?

Tora said...

Honey is yummy! Actually it's a bit sickening, but still nice in moderation, right?

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