I never did see the point in having a phone I was afraid to lose because it had cost me a crazy amount of money. It's not because I can't take care of my stuff (at least if I know where to find it!) but sometimes faith is out there to get my stuff. And I ain't got no spider-sense to tell me when, and that means I have to take certain precautions.
This, ladies and gentleladies - is my work of art in progress-- and for my own technology's protection:
Padding.
Oooh yes! Look it has diamonds on it and teeth and eyes and pearls and duck-chickens and stars and candy and a crazy monkey and a hedgehog and a bear in a parachute. You know what? We should make a TV-show with that cast. Because our special guest-stars -- the fantastic bling dangling from it, consists of two rabbits, an Asian couple, a dog, a chicken, a mushroom, a parrot, a cow and gingerbreadman!
Ginger Bread Man! He could be my superhero! A ginger man made of bread! His kryptonite could be soup! In which case he would bloat up and dissolve like wet bread, because you see, he is made of bread which means when it touches soup - that's what happens. You ever had soup with bread? I'm pretty sure you know how this goes. AAaaanyway I just wanted to show the world my delicious talking-machine. And I will show you again when I've finished the other side!
4
Tummy diet
Ok, so this is very weird, I know. But it is weirding me out, too (MORE than it will you) and I just need to vent it a little bit.
Because I went to the doctor because of my achy stomach, and he took a lot of tests, and will take some more next week - so until then I am on a restrictive diet.
Okay, I get it. A billion people are on a strict diet every day - but I'm not! I've never had to think much about what I eat at all, as long as it's not hairy in places it's not meant to be hairy. Hell I even eat from the ground. But I'll tell you something, it's not at all bad this diet, it is just the principle of having to check ingredients and having to mentally prepare ahead for every meal that freaks me out. The doctor also recommended that I eat small meals, but often, grazing, if you like.
And that's fine, yeah.
YES | NO |
Lots of fibre (with every meal) | Red meat |
Pork | Liver, Kidney |
Chicken | Dark fish (salmon, tuna, mackerel) |
White fish (cod, flounder, halibut) | Cauliflower |
Cooked vegetables | Horseradish |
Raw tomato | |
A LITTLE | Radishes |
Uncooked fruit and vegetables | Melon |
Dairy | Banana |
Cooked meat in sandwiches | Soybeans |
Alcohol |
But I can't have banana!! Or melon! And I JUST bought a lot of golden bananas and a perfectly sweet melon, and some lush tomatoes. Well done.
In other news from a grown person getting totally freaked out because she can't eat bananas - I'm wondering why my neighbour is up at eight in the morning to watch the tellybox. M, there we go, just to have a fairly gay smoke out the window in his wifebeater. I get it.
I can really start to see how living in these apartments awake a primal need for slandering. I'm the worst of them. The pair across the street even got full-covering blinds eventually, I thought I looked quite inconspicuous hiding behind my curtains and scrutinizing their odd Disney-fondling (I don't know how they do it!) or their strangely romantic way of cooking together. I call them the Disney couple. There's not a lot of action going on at my wall-to-wall neighbours, especially since I can't peek through their windows without climbing the façade.
Lot to do lately? Yes, seriously. All the prepping for our Bachelor is going to wring me into a sock. I don't know how, but soon you will meet me on the street and you'll say "Tora, what has happened? You look like a sock" and I'll say -"Yes" and look at my foot, my one big foot protruding from my neck, and add "it sucks".
...
Rest in Peace Cleo :(
I love you so much. And thanks everyone for your support! And mama I am so sorry, I wish I could be with you and hug you all day.
Cleo
| Cleo, the best dog in the universe |
I don't know how to say this.
Cleo's liver is failing, and she doesn't eat much. She weighs less than 28 kilos now.
She is on a liver-improving diet and she's getting some pills, but she wont eat much, and she wont consistently take the pills. Whenever she gets up, Ulla gets all excited and starts licking Cleo's face as much as she can. Cleo doesn't even have the enthusiasm to tell her to piss off.
I am getting pretty certain that this is the end for her, and I wish it wouldn't be so slow and humiliating. Starving herself to death. She really was meant to eat herself to death. Salmon and waffles and all the love she could handle.
I try to tell myself that she is only a dog, but she is so much more. She is family and such a great friend, and I know she's had a good life, and I know it can't last forever. But I wish it could.
I will keep you all posted!
Violence in games
I am going to discuss some aspects on game design that I have some opinions about that I need to air. It will be about violence first, then games made for children and then about game universes. I would warn you on some strong imagery, but I rarely see people react to them anymore.
All human entertainment has at some point contained a large portion of violence and brutality. The circus of the Romans was the bloody massacres of gladiator fights, and other old forms of entertainment like public executions are actually still alive some places today. Like in Afghanistan, Iran and Somalia (where a 13 year old girl that had been raped was buried to the neck in the middle of a football stadium and stoned to death in front of 1000 people for adultery. Her name was Aisho Ibrahim Dhuhulow.) And in some manner or other, whether or not as horrific as the execution of a child in public --violence has always attracted a crowd. Like dog-fights, rooster-fights, bull-fights, even fist-fights - and I could go on.
And when we humans feel sophisticated enough to rise above these primal activities, we find other ways to depict our carnal, violent desires, as such in poems, paintings, books, cartoons, songs, films or, more "recently" in games. And most violent entertainment is often a sort of game, or at least "a competition" to the death, or to the first blood. But on the other hand the most peaceful, unifying activities are also games (though I would argue not all people take peacefully to losing a round of Yatzi). And that is what I am trying to bring across here, in my own, digressing ways.
Though we have a long tradition of worshipping heinous acts as entertainment this is not at all synonymous with saying that all games have to be this way. Though I am personally still surprised to this day on creativity brought into "action"-games (that usually means you are meant to kill things in it) - like a complex and well composed story (Like in the first-person shooter Max Payne!)
Violence is often brought into games if they lack interesting gameplay, or lack meaning altogether - a lot of gamers appear content smashing things (I think I've played so much Soul Calibur II it might have had permanent effects on me). But there is a difference here, I think designers need to have more respect towards their audience, and most of all - themselves. If you are sitting in a meeting when collaborating on the game concept and idea and decide that it's going to be a shooter game with zombies because you don't have any other interesting ideas that contain any sort of substance. I hope you will have the integrity to reconsider.
And I am not saying it necessarily is a bad thing with violence in games. It can be a very powerful tool for creating an immersion for your audience. But I am definitely not saying it is a good thing either. I know 14 and 11 year old kids that play Modern Warfare 2, and more surprisingly - with their parents blessing. "Because it is less violent than a lot of other games". And I partly agree to this of course, MW2 happens to be a very well-composed game, I admit. And though it really is a lot less violent than a lot of other games... It is still a lot more violent than say - at least a quarter of all the other games on the market.
So what we need to recognise is the essence and the message of what we are trying to convey with our game. I really do hate when people try to give meaning to things that are not meant to have a meaning. Like paintings. It really gets to me sometimes. But if your game is meant to be "a mindless shooter" then I will have respect for that, it is all the mind that is being put into it eventually that scares me. You can't deny that any game will contain some kind of message, whether intended to or not. Tetris, Bejeweled and Pacman not included. So when creating a simple-minded game it is important to remember the complexity it eventually will hold when it is being played by your audience.
You have to weigh every battle and every drop of blood on your conscience and think just how mindless this will appear to the 11 year old child of some "open-minded" parents* and just how much meaning it is going to give to the seasoned 33 year old gamer. Your message is going to be given out to all of those who are up to the challenge, and it can be ever as subtly glorifying violent behaviour or condone acts that in society are unforgivable. The shock-value of extreme, gory violence is down to a nil. Throwing intestines, brains, unborn children and still-beating hearts above your head by a chainsaw will give about as strong a reaction from today's audience as a crab taking a shit on another crab, on a beach. It is worth absolutely nothing. So we got to ask ourselves, when violence only work as some sort of "filler", is it really necessary?
I applaud the minds that find new ways of making videogames interesting and still not include any violence whatsoever when running out of ideas for what the game should contain. Games are to me one of the most incredibly versatile and powerful mediums we have today - you don't deserve to create them if all you do is to slip into a pattern as old as mankind - that the best entertainment is served hot, with a lot of sticks and stones.
* I will clarify here that developers can't be responsible for their content when it's not viewed by the appropriate audience as stated by age-limits and approvals. What a child brings into a household is completely the parent's responsibility.
| From Manhunt |
And when we humans feel sophisticated enough to rise above these primal activities, we find other ways to depict our carnal, violent desires, as such in poems, paintings, books, cartoons, songs, films or, more "recently" in games. And most violent entertainment is often a sort of game, or at least "a competition" to the death, or to the first blood. But on the other hand the most peaceful, unifying activities are also games (though I would argue not all people take peacefully to losing a round of Yatzi). And that is what I am trying to bring across here, in my own, digressing ways.
Though we have a long tradition of worshipping heinous acts as entertainment this is not at all synonymous with saying that all games have to be this way. Though I am personally still surprised to this day on creativity brought into "action"-games (that usually means you are meant to kill things in it) - like a complex and well composed story (Like in the first-person shooter Max Payne!)
| From Postal 2 |
And I am not saying it necessarily is a bad thing with violence in games. It can be a very powerful tool for creating an immersion for your audience. But I am definitely not saying it is a good thing either. I know 14 and 11 year old kids that play Modern Warfare 2, and more surprisingly - with their parents blessing. "Because it is less violent than a lot of other games". And I partly agree to this of course, MW2 happens to be a very well-composed game, I admit. And though it really is a lot less violent than a lot of other games... It is still a lot more violent than say - at least a quarter of all the other games on the market.
So what we need to recognise is the essence and the message of what we are trying to convey with our game. I really do hate when people try to give meaning to things that are not meant to have a meaning. Like paintings. It really gets to me sometimes. But if your game is meant to be "a mindless shooter" then I will have respect for that, it is all the mind that is being put into it eventually that scares me. You can't deny that any game will contain some kind of message, whether intended to or not. Tetris, Bejeweled and Pacman not included. So when creating a simple-minded game it is important to remember the complexity it eventually will hold when it is being played by your audience.
You have to weigh every battle and every drop of blood on your conscience and think just how mindless this will appear to the 11 year old child of some "open-minded" parents* and just how much meaning it is going to give to the seasoned 33 year old gamer. Your message is going to be given out to all of those who are up to the challenge, and it can be ever as subtly glorifying violent behaviour or condone acts that in society are unforgivable. The shock-value of extreme, gory violence is down to a nil. Throwing intestines, brains, unborn children and still-beating hearts above your head by a chainsaw will give about as strong a reaction from today's audience as a crab taking a shit on another crab, on a beach. It is worth absolutely nothing. So we got to ask ourselves, when violence only work as some sort of "filler", is it really necessary?
| From Postal 2 |
* I will clarify here that developers can't be responsible for their content when it's not viewed by the appropriate audience as stated by age-limits and approvals. What a child brings into a household is completely the parent's responsibility.
Me and my stomach
I did get your attention. Thank you Kronk!
My stomach and I are not friends.
We have a very bad way of communicating to each other. I can't really understand what it is trying to say when it is aching, expanding and making me feel horrible. And it certainly doesn't answer when I am trying to figure out what is making it upset.
It is like having the most cryptic girlfriend communicating only through domestic violence.
I know I have a very varied diet, and especially for being a student. I eat a lot of vegetables and a lot of whole wheat bread and other stuff that is meant to be good for you like green tea, fruit and a lot of snap n' crackle.
Seriously though, It must be some sort of allergic reaction, and it occurs more often on Fridays than on any other day of the week. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, and I assure you it is certainly not stress-related. You might know me, and because of that I wont have to explain. I don't have very well-developed stress glands. So it must be something that I'm eating. But what? I'm not consuming anything now that I haven't always eaten every now and then.
But yeah, this weekend my diet will consist of toast and Biola until I get better.
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