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Make-up

I don't know why we spend so much of our lives trying to improve the way we look. It is probably the biggest and most common obsession of all humans (perhaps except from among Lapps and Eskimos, generally - the people in the snow have given up).

I don't know, I think I spend about twenty minutes - half an hour a day (at least) trying to fudge on my mask of sanity before leaving the house, not to mention trying to shape my birdly head-nest into something that would at least look like hair. But then I do wear a lot of make-up, more than anyone I know who's not a goth, anyway. And so I guess this time-consuming process is more dominating in my world than in others.

Not only do I spend (probably at an average) three and a half hours a week just trying to look sane, but I am always left at a loss on the "nightwear" rule. Because the basic rule when you go out bar-hopping, clubbing or to a party somewhere - is that you do this wearing about 30% more make-up than you do in the daytime. This means I have to spend about an hour wedging my face on with an ironing board, two buckets of cement, a sledgehammer and a fondue fork (whilst curling my head-nest with a bunch of heavy-duty bolsters*). -- And I regularly come out looking as a clown anyway, absolutely nada like Megan Fox. Nada.

So, if you like me, sometimes feel like beauty-treatment and cosmetics is taking over your life (Audun); save time on grooming by skipping showers. You can simply simulate that you're showering while on the bus to school. Apparently this method is

A. Entertaining
B. Fun to do
C. Relatively dry (unless someone spit on you)
D. Cheap - saves the hot water, and the shampoo!

So, as I can't seem to rid myself of the habit on wearing face-paint before entering every day warfare, for now I am simply going to infuse my invigoriting cassoulet of smells with a splurt of sweat and a knob of pollution that's been allowed to yeast in my pores for a little while longer!

Now that's pretty disgusting! Smudge some pus on the bus!

*For you curious types - yes, apparently the make-up ritual is quizzically similar to construction work

4 Comments!:

Audun said...

Ikke kom her og LEK smart. Jeg går på Gløs, så jeg ER smart, kk? Greit, da har vi rydda opp i det.

And we all know that curly people win the contest. We wake up, and our hair is done. Other people spend 30 min getting a "casual look", we have the actual casual look. Then again, actually giving the hair any kind of shape it does not take on on it's own is impossible:(
And if you let it grow for too long, it becomes self-sentient.

Smylexx said...

Goodness! That photo combined hot Torakins action AND Murlocs!! Almost orgasmic!

Gwarharbleflurbleflurble..flurgle...bleughh!

Tora said...

Easy, Smy. We don't want any accidents!1

Last time scared all the guppies away!

And Mrs. Fooh from maintenance still gives me the stink-eye.

Anonymous said...

Audun: velkommen til Trondheim!:)
You curly people just shake yourself dry....
Tante Bister

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