Robbie Williams, Intensive Care.

Since I was 7 years I've been an admiring fan of Robbie Williams. Last year he released his newest album called Intensive care. I think the level of disappointment wasn't as bad as it should have been. Seeing I'm past a kind of "worshipping" relationship to his music, I'm easier to impress, more now than ever.

But he didn't seize that chance. Never before has he cooked up an album so full of tame and unsparkly music, it's like flat, piss-temperatured beer. You think it sucks trying to swallow it down, but your body just keeps on repressing it and forces it out of your system, making you go through the pain and discomfort once again.

Personally I hate it when people so ruthlessly slaughter an album like this. But he has left me with no choice. This is the shittiest thing he has ever delivered and ranges far from old classics like "Me and my monkey" or "Somewhere beyond the sea". Even "Jesus in a Camper Van" seems more tempting. And his sparkling enthusiasm in "Man Machine" must've disappeared from the surface of the earth, as it's not even present on this album.

The ONLY thing he left me with, this heartless bastard, is his ever-as wonderful lyrics. He could, however, have spared himself from the swearing, he has never before have had to fully turn to that to give his sentences an extra "edge". His songs have previously been more than capable to make a statement without that much verbal abuse.

I suggest he goes back to chain-smoking and heavier alcoholic habits, because sad as it is, artists seem to function a lot better under those conditions. Like, WTF Robbie?! WTF?! Like Fatboy bloody Slim says so well in Star 69:
"What the fuck?
They know what is what,
But they don't know what is what,
They just strut.

What the fuck?!"

His recent music sucks, but he's the one butt-naked next to Gisele...


Back to Top