So it's summer, it's summer in Oslo. The weather is absolutely smashing, but there is no people around...

Where have all the people gone? The city is close to empty!

Of course my dear friend, have they all escaped to "Sørlandet" (this means southernland).
No, not southern europe like some do, we mean southern Norway!
Here the weather is warmer and the days are long and awesome. People live in whitewashed houses, inside they put all the ugly furniture they'd never dream of having in their homes, but in a cabin ("hytte") these disgusting interior creations are "cozy", "have a certain charm" or whatever silly excuse people make for not throwing things out.

So what you need would be a little kitchen without a dishwasher, since doing the dishes is "a part of living away from civilization" which is on every Norwegians top ten list of best things to do.
You need a livingroom with woolen sofas that sting to sit on, all placed neatly around a tiny table where you kill time by playing cards or board games. Like Monopoly, Settlers, Ludo, Stigespillet or Hatt over hatt.
Bedrooms, if you're lucky you have just about not enough bedspace, so someone have to sleep in a tent or on the itchy sofa. The beds also have to be old, with very thin and flat matresses that gather little pools of sand in the middle of them, preferably they have flowery sheets.

Toilet, now this is the best part. The toilet musn't be in a direct connection with the rest of the house. This toilet must be about 1 sqm, tops 2-3 sqmeters of smelly smelly wooden floor and a bench with a carved out hole to poo in. It's wise to place this "facility" as far away from the "hytte" as possible. (If you have a path with stones you can trip over when going there at night, that makes just a fine bonus).
Of course you must NOT install any lights or other "modern" installations that can make going to the loo easier. You'd rather trip around in the dark until you find a smelly little house, stumble inside and pee all over your shoes.

THEN, you know for sure you've made your "hytte" right, and you can with pride call yourself a true Norwegian.

I picked berries from the garden(!)


Kida said...


oooh the lies.

I think I might have to bite your shoulder for saying such bad things about sørlandet.

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