bacon

I realised that I've never before devoted a post entirely to bacon, and, I apprehended - this was not just!
I love bacon! Who doesn't love bacon? I don't know a single, tormented soul that do not bask in the grandness of bacon every now and then! And why shouldn't we? There are so many fan-tas-tic things one can do with these silky slivers of pork fat - that it can for a minute seem quite overwhelming. I decided to ease your confusion and blazon you with this showcase of:

1. Bacon is the perfect addition to any dish. Bacon and chicken, bacon and beef, bacon and potatoes, or eggs, salad, bread, tea, onions, lamb, fish, vegetables, even bacon and ice-cream.
So if in doubt - just add bacon. (Though note that bacon doesn't go well with either chocolate or coffee).

2. Bacon can be thrown on the wall, or to the ceiling - to a fabulous surprise when it falls down!

3. Use it as soap, just rub it against you - and every dog on the planet will like you.


4. Bacon is the perfect makeshift present for your girlfriend - if she is not happy with a necklace - pretend it's a ring! Success guaranteed!

5. Bacon can be a great travel companion, seeing everyone loves bacon it's an international currency and can trade your kidneys back or yourself out of slavery, anytime. If you don't have a suitcase, you can just fold your underpants into some bacon, and voilá!

6. If you dry a nice side of bacon - it's a cheap solution for a shelf, a plank or even a trendy snowboard.

7. Bacon is marvellous for a ticket, you may not realize - but most machines are able to scan bacon and accept it as a valid ticket throughout your travel. (This doesn't work in either Canada or Latveria, but is foolproof in major parts of the world).

8. To make sure you get through to the next interview for the job you want - simply wear bacon as a nice, tight dress - and make sure to give bacon to everyone you see. Works, every time!

9. Stick some bacon on your windows for an atmospheric decoration during the holidays.

10. If you think rap-music is bad...? Try listening to your bacon.

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