It has been decided that I love the chosen one most. No, really. I gathered that people are becoming quite paranoid about this whole swine-flu thing. So before you defenestrate all your house-pigs and shriek your heart out while running for the hills - take a breather and read the information below. It is simply some very basic precautions and procedures for the endurance of the Swine Flu pandemic, and it goes like this:
1. To prevent any more panic, the Swine flu is from now on known as The Bacon-Flu, because it sounds much nicer and not so scary.
2. If contaminated with the Bacon-Flu - make sure to draw a pig's nose on your face mask to warn others when out in public.
3. To improve your immune system, add a spoon of cod liver oil to your cornflakes every day.
4. Keep a wickedly gorgeous hairdo, like that of Noel Fielding, to fend off the virus.
5. Listen intently to Untrust Us by Crystal Castles to stimulate your underground electric look and keep in shape.
6. Bacon can be eaten as normal, the subtype H1N1 (Bacon - Flu) does supposedly not transmit through food.