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Pepper Desert

It was horribly early in the morning and the other girls had warned her to stay clear of any local crooks, it was said that they could dismantle your ears fairly easily if you didn’t do as they wanted to. She was used to that sort of thing and pulled a hat down over her face before boarding the tram, just in case someone’d have a jab at her ears.

The sweaty businessman had suddenly deflated and fallen asleep as he finally got on board, so the only creatures awake on the tram were her and a snail on the floor, closely examining a giant truffle. It was a funky snail, it had DVNO printed in gold on its back, and was humming an electronic tune. And there was a dog, with a squint.

The sun was still very red and was still colouring the entire sky in a kind of pink fashion. It was nice and warm inside the tram, there was no chauffeur – it was one of the resources that had been cut back on after the launching of the Pepper-moose Expressway Tram Services. The moose then steered the trams through the hot vastness of the desert all by themselves, they knew every grain of pepper, and every oasis – and every refreshing pond of amaretto.

The Pepper desert had many names whom which it was impossible to know the official one. Casually it was usually just named “The Pepper Desert”, to make it as simple as possible, because there was just one pepper desert.

The desert looked like a large dark stain on maps, so the old hairplane pilots referred to it as “The Coffee Splash”, the shepherds named it “The Grand Sneeze” while as the dyslexics in the want of their own name for it, called it “The Splash of Sneeze”. Either way, it had become extremely famous in the countries abroad, thousands of pepper desert postcards were printed each year by the Yellow Association for Retired and Rehabilitated sea Hulks, sailors, Rebels and pirates (YARRHR), a grand manufacturer and distributor of tourism fashionetta. Obviously no one ever came to visit the desert, it was large and hot and boring, and it made you sneeze a lot. A fitting description that also meant you weren’t likely to come visit. But it looked good on postcards, at least.

All of a sudden the squinting dog had barked furiously out the window, it was now standing on its back paws and squinting towards the rising sun. What was going on? She made sure her ears were kept safe underneath her hat.

2 Comments!:

Audun said...

Slingalongtong. I like that, more cities and places should have such names.

Witchieboobs said...

I want more Pepper Desert! This was totally awesome! :o

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