From a different lagmension

Have you ever heard of the word lag?

If you have, then you probably already know that it is used as a term for being slow or hanging behind. Lag is often used about the speed of your internet. Or, to say it more correctly, the speed of the information packages sent across the internet.
These packages contain coding that creates everything you are doing on the web. Like, playing a game, placing an order, chatting, sending a file, opening a web-page, downloading or uploading a file or photo.
The speed of these packages is measured in latency, in some circumstances also known as Ping. So, the Ping of the Latency is the speed of the Lag.

You have probably experienced the way things freeze or load really slowly when doing something online. We say that it lags or that it's laggy.

The reason things lag is dimensional disturbance.
You might have heard of bottleneck theories, that the packages get queued around slow reuters, that the computer is slow at interpretating the information, or that the packages take unnecessary rounds to deliver the information.

But all of that is a load of crap.

Lag is, indeed, caused by disturbing waves of sound, emotion or movement from other dimensions. We call these bits and pieces of events; Lagmensions.

Lagmensions are often triggered by strong emotions in our dimension. Like if you are really inpatient about getting a webpage to load, this influences the people in other dimensions, causing them to be inpatient too. The lack of patience will crash and cause something called Lagpetence this naturally slows down information packages and can make things freeze.

Sound also has a great influence on Lagmensions. When using for example Ventrilo, Google Talk, Teamspeak, Skype or other Voice-Communication software you often experience lag when talking to someone. This is often purely coincidential and recognised as empty sounds, much like silence, but not entirely.
Audiowavelag is a very silent version of dramatic events from other dimensions. Things like death, child-birth, panic, celebrations, horse-races, war, gas-leaks or fireworks has a tendency of interrupting audio the most.

Lagovement is lag caused by movements in other dimensions and can be caused, triggered or created from anything. It also has the ability to interrupt anything, anywhere at anytime. Lagovement is therefore the most common type of lag.

Lagmensions has become a part of our daily lives, yet few people know exactly why things lag and blame it on other things, like having an old computer load a giant computer game. People experience gaming satisfaction only by purchasing newer computer models to stop the lag. Often the amount of lag will drastically decrease, yet the reason for that is only the faith in the new computer. A newer machine or a better reuter has not scientifically proven to stop Lagmensions, but your personal attitude towards it, can.

Some facts about Lag and Lagmensions:
  • A secret sect believe Lag is a punishment from God.
  • Lagmentions can get so strong that people in our own dimension can be swopped with people from other dimensions.
  • Lag can also be currents of fried milk that disturbs radio signals.
  • Lag is built from the two words Lancaster and Aggro, these two words have absolutely nothing to do with the meaning of the word today.
  • Lag is a currency in certain parts of Norway.
  • By fixing a car to your face, lag can be severly decreased.
  • Lagmensions can be very serious, there is currently yet no way to stop the income of random information from other dimensions into ours.


Addnamehere said...

Too... many... letters...

Need... brief... summary...

Thanks in advance :)

Tora said...

bwahaha, no, no, you've got to read it all!

I got a bit carried away though, sorry :( Never meant for it to be so long :((

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