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The things I don't like

I have serious trouble understanding why people would eat pickles.
You say the word 'pickle' and I hear the word 'poop'.

I think the cloying scent of pickles is the only thing that can beat the exceptionally revolting texture of canned mushrooms, and pickles is actually also the only thing that stand a chance at conquering the stinking mountain of sundried tomatoes.

Pickles are in other words a champion at being beastly and repellent.

I do not think that calls for any applause, but I do, however, think we require some Cilit Bang to remove your sudden urge to splutter down your intolerance towards my food selectiveness in the comment box.

To save the cash I suggest I just write down all the things that disgust me instead. (Of course this is not the least bit interesting, but I have been writing several thousand words on my NaNOWriMo novel today and need to express my deepest frustration).

1. Pickles - I believe I have made my point.
2. Sundried Tomatoes
3. Mushrooms - Fresh or canned, you are banned
4. Tom Cruise
5. Rocket - BLEEEURGH!!!11
6. Heavy perfumes
7. Bambi - worst. film. ever.
8. Reality TV
9. Pencils that break when you sharpen them
10. People walking slowly in front of you
11. Excess amounts of honey
12. Physical contact - Touch me, and die!
13. Cross-country skiing - AARGH!
14. Being cold - Which is like, all the time!
15. Compliments
16. Snot
17. Inpoliteness and Arrogance
18. Flaggpunch
19. Green-tea
20. Tellytubbies
21. Marzipan
22. Out-chewed chewing gum - you know when it kind of dissolves in your mouth
23. Sports!
24. Too much Coriander
25. Evil Jellyfish
26. People without confidence
27. Forcing Oneself to Write
28. --- Especially blogs

6 Comments!:

Pollywantsacookie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pollywantsacookie said...

There's no such thing as evil jellyfish! They are just misunderstood!

Poor jellyfish :(

While searching for jellyfish fansites i found this nifty site:

http://jellyfishes.
prairiepreservationalliance.org/

Other than that I didn't find a single fansite for jellyfish! But they're out there I know it!

Also I found this interesting:

http://en.wikipedia.org/
wiki/Fishes#Note_on_usage:
_.22fish.22_vs._.22fishes.22

(Had to split up the links... Stupid comment box >:()

Pollywantsacookie said...

I also want to add that I'm aware that the "nifty" site is written by some kind of crazy person (the bad kind of crazy people that is)

Smylexx said...

I think you're being too harsh. Your "Hate-List" is full of perfectly lovely things. Here's Why:

1. Pickles - look sophisticated in fridges and help hide that huge cream cake that makes you feel guilty.

2. Sundried Tomatoes - Are marginally better than still-moist-and-not-too-sun-DRY-Tomatoes

3. Mushrooms -Make you grow big and strong - like Mario. Some of them give you the power to smash turtles by hopping on them too.

4. Tom Cruise - But who else would road-test sofas for us? How would we ever know how strong a sofa is unless tom had jumped on it first? tell me THAT!!

5. Rocket - Has to be some freaky deaky dutch thing. As far as i'm aware, Rockets are lovely phallic spaceships that transport monkeys to far off places.

6. Heavy perfumes - They come in smaller bottles these days, weak-girl.

7. Bambi - worst. film. ever. - Tsk!! You forget Titanic? and THAT'S 3 hours long!!

8. Reality TV - makes you realise how smart you are when you watch the morons that usually take part, doesn't it?

9. Pencils that break when you sharpen them - Stop sharpening them with a hammer then, freakypants!

10. People walking slowly in front of you -Those people are stopping you from exerting yourself. The energy you save by plodding along at 1mph can be used later to save the life of a drowning otter.

11. Excess amounts of honey - There's no such thing. You should see my Honey Lake.

12. Physical contact - B-b-b-but fondling? Light rubbing? Stolen touches in intimate areas? Those are wrong? You are soooooo dumped!

13. Cross-country skiing - Still less irritating than Cross-Country-PogoStick-ing.

14. Being cold - But isn't it all made better by that lovely feeling of getting toasty by the fire later? ISN'T IT???

15. Compliments - Did i mention you look delicious today? (You're still dumped though... see #12)

16. Snot - Is Gods little nose present to you. It can be used to oil car doors, nurse a sick weasel back to health, stick important papers together and, when crispy, can be a delicious substitute for muesli.

17. Inpoliteness and Arrogance - Whateverrr, Loserrrr

18. Flaggpunch - Erm... is this Norwegian for "Penguin Pornography"? Nope, haven't got a clue.

19. Green-tea - If you realised how many frogs are killed to make this stuff, you would refuse to complain.

20. Tellytubbies - Ok, fair enough.

21. Marzipan - As a foodstuff it may be ever-so-slightly unpleasant BUT it CAN be used to decorate cakes in fantastic ways!! If you've ever seen a giant Dougal-from-the-Magic-Roundabout cake, you'd weep with joy every time the word "Marzipan" was used. I'm crying now.

22. Out-chewed chewing gum - Buy MORE, cheap girl!

23. Sports! - Even all-girl volleyball? Pro-Celebrity lesbianity? Nigella Lawson playing tennis? Surely not!

24. Too much Coriander - but too LITTLE coriander would be a travesty!! Think of how upset the baby koala guests would be at YOUR dinner party!!

25. Evil Jellyfish - You're referring, of course, to the Nazi Jellyfish from the 1940s. Most of them are dead now and we really should try to give the younger generation a chance, doncha think?

26. People without confidence - but people with LOADS of confidence could easily slip into #17 and then where would we be?

27. Forcing Oneself to Write - Anne Frank knows how you feel.

28. --- Especially blogs - Anne frank knows how you f.......actually, no, she probably doesnt.

Audun said...

rofl

Tora said...

hahahahahaha

Thank you Smylexx,
- and long time, no C-Vitamins. Sheesh, I sure have missed your originality.

You should drop by more often, even though I wont go back on ANYTHING I said I disliked, because I still do, no matter how beautiful you made it all seem!

stingray!

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