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Midas touch

I was born with a Midas touch,

everything I touch becomes sticky.

Now, it is compulsive for me to have sticky fingers, I always do, - just somehow they end up in the bottom of the bowl of waffle batter, or underneath an icecream, or in a pocket full of sticky old sweets. it's not as if I am in control of what happens, they're suddenly just sticky!

Part guilty in this must be the fact that I am a little sister, and any decent younger sister with any self-respect has proper, fat and very sticky little fingers. In fact - it's all that's written in the work description, and is also the only requirement!

There are several "nice", or "remotely nice" little sisters, - but they all have sticky fingers! Still! They could be nice, but they would still be sticky, oh yes sir, oh yes you fuzzy little man-peach.

Well, my point; a wise man once said:
"I have a Midas Touch, everything I get near becomes shit".

And while this quite basically cover it, it is not entirely true - is it? I mean Gandalf, or Dumbledore, or Patrick Swayze, or whatever wise man might have said this, how can substances simply transform into excrements on mere contact with human skin?

I think that sounds rather ridiculous, it is like they have missed out on the entire point of the Midas Touch. Hello000Ooo! Gandalf! It is supposed to be a metaphor, not some kind of sick inside wizard-joke for you and Dumbledore to giggle at. Because even though you are exceptional wizards, it just doesn't make any sense that you would use your magic to transform random items into shit.

... And - just out of curiosity - what kind of shit is it? Like, kangaroo, or---

No! No! My point is, Pat-rick Swayze: -- That the whole point of using a reference like this one, for King Midas is to show that you are sophisticated enough to be familiar with Greek Mythology. So the least thing one can do, is in combination with such a reference - is to show a little decency. I think anything more silly than sticky should be incompatible with Midas' touch. Because any word that is more wrong than the word I used isn't decent.

Everybody's abusing it.

Pff. Patrick Swayze. You silly silly boy.

4 Comments!:

Foss said...

Everything I touch turns to "something Foss touched". I don't think I could ever turn everything in the world into "something Foss touched", but I can at least turn it all into "something Foss thought about touching in some way or another, if only by proxy".

Also, given the way air is distributed around the planet, everything will at some point become "something touched by something that was touched by something that was touched by something that was touched by something Foss touched".

I am sexy. Fear my dance.

Dzenan said...

All depends of the point of view.

The english language but (itself) donot give us enough space to explain it very well. In other cultures a touch donot always means a touch.

By touching something you interfier with it on different levels, even without physical transform of it (eye mesure) you transform it, if we do beliefe in the CHAOS theory.

Then even something I touched could be something Foss touched, but after I did it, his touch becomes less equivalent,

Still it is a funny point of view.
In alchemy, the transmutation of an object into gold is known as Chrysopoeia. How do you call your touch???

P.S. thanx for the nice words on my blog.
Cheers

Audun said...

My touch is magical, it makes people say
"Eek! keep your finger out of my nostril!"

I am dance. Be my läzer.

(I believe sticky glasses are more common for me, they always seem to be full of fingerprints, jam-stains and bewildered tosspots)

Smylexx said...

Talking of poo... it's possible to buy White Rhino poo online. It's very expensive though...but that's because it's on the Endangered Faeces list.

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